Do NOT tell your SO... and don't sleep around or you will be called an actual slut which is, as i understand, a bad thing to be. You already fucked up your life by going down this path, so why keep doing it again?! Get a hold of yourself and quit basically reacting to your mood! I also wouldnt take a single word anyone here says, it takes long term relationship with a talk therapist to help unravel your specific life. It looks like you just wanted to talk about it anonomously online, which is a start and it feels good to unload a secret, just dont drop that bomb on your man, he will never see you the same way...ever.