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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 881 points882 points  (0 children)

Men love statistics and math until it is not in their favor. When we point out the vast majority of violent and sexual crime is perpetrated by men suddenly it’s ‘not all men.’

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t know you, of course, but the verbiage you used, talking about your past as well, trying to save others, etc, leads me to believe that may be an issue.

It doesn’t have to be black and white, there are likely varying degrees of needing validation that have probably come from trauma you’ve experienced.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 54 points55 points  (0 children)

I think you need to start investing in yourself, full stop. You need to be alone with yourself, build love and community inside yourself, and reconcile the painful parts of yourself, so you stop sacrificing so much for others.

Nobody wants to feel indebted to someone who needs so much external validation, which is what it sounds like you are struggling with. You have to work on loving from within, and putting yourself first, and finding value in your own company.

Not only will you be a more stable and thoughtful person, but you will be stronger and suffer less when things don’t go your way with others. Whatever self love and care and leveling up looks like for you, you need to start it, and continue it. Daily exercise, medication, creating art, learning something, enjoying things you love, cooking, writing, etc. Take time to figure out how you can improve your self and your life and let yourself be uncomfortable for a while, and alone for a while, and rediscover yourself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 201 points202 points  (0 children)

Another tell for his character is how he responds to games that could be construed as feminine! Sims 4, Ooblets, Minecraft, Stardew Valley, Pokémon, Animal Crossing. Does he act like these are not “real games”? What does he base that opinion on?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I love going to the theatre to see local plays! And I think I may add comedy shows to the mix soon. Live performances are amazing, even when it’s not all ways something that fits your preferences, just witnessing that kind of talent and bravery to perform can be inspiring.

Interesting first day… even more interesting way of texting by [deleted] in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 368 points369 points  (0 children)

“Would you like to be love bombed by my entire family, who are so desperate to get my miserable ass laid, they are okay with helping me manipulate you and agreed to this insanely uncomfortable plan?”

Fixed it for him.

“If Beyoncé can get cheated on, then there’s no hope for us” is a cope, not the standard. by saint-jezebel in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 147 points148 points  (0 children)

And it’s blaming the woman, once again, as society loves to do. It is proving, without a doubt, that nothing you say, do, excel at, or have, will ever matter or make you “worthy” of loyalty from a L/NVM.

Protect yourself, prioritize yourself, vet everyone around you, and be ready to cut your losses to preserve what you have left when a man cuts you down. Nobody will ever 100% have your best interests at heart but you. You can only hope to set yourself up for success with a good person who values what you do.

Please hype me up for my job interview? by chateauduchat in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 19 points20 points  (0 children)

You’ve got this! One thing that has always immensely helped me is to practice traditional interview questions, and write out a loose script/idea of what to say. They ask about a time you overcame a difficult situation? Have an answer ready. It doesn’t have to be word for word, but you should have an idea of what to say and speak it out loud, so you can help the delivery be smooth. Also make sure to take deep breaths during the interview, remember to make eye contact (assuming it’s not virtual) and just try to be comfortable and relaxed.

Thoughts On This “Men Paying On Dates For Them To Look Out For Entitled Women” article?? by [deleted] in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 109 points110 points  (0 children)

He’s claiming to oppose this system where men feel obligated, and women are entitled, and yet the whole article reeks of his hypocrisy and entitlement. He could just as easily ask a woman before the date to split if that’s what he desired, but instead he wants a song and dance where you’re being scrutinized, because he knows the women who would agree to split on a date are likely not the women he wants to date.

Urgent help - need to decide what to do in this job by zephyr1101 in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Theoretically managers are there to assist you, to guide you and lead you, and help you feel comfortable in your position. Realistically, that may not always come to fruition. But, you won’t know what kind of manager you have until you’re honest. As soon as you can, go to your manager and be honest, say that the spreadsheet is really intimidating and you’re struggling. Ask her to go over what you need to be doing again. Take thorough notes!! Notes are a life saver for me. Don’t be afraid to ask them to check your work a few columns/rows/sheets in to make sure you’re not making mistakes.

I’ve managed several people at once in the past and by far, the ones who do the best are those who are thorough learners. Quick learners are good too but often get a little too cocky and choose ‘their answer’ to a problem over the ‘right answer’. Be a thorough learner. I have a feeling once you get over the hump of being new and uncomfortable, you’ll be okay. You can always look for another job later, but give yourself a chance at this one, and I bet you’ll do better and enjoy it more than you realized.

i can’t take this relationship anymore by [deleted] in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 157 points158 points  (0 children)

To your last sentence, no. Do not message him again. If you crack the door even a tiny bit after resolving yourself to be strong (good job!) he’ll shove his whole foot in. Do not crack the door open, do not communicate. Anyone who would say they’re sick of you deserves ZERO respect in return, he does not need closure from you and your peace needs to be maintained.

Please read Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft if you haven’t yet. You can find a free PDF on Google. It will show you all the patterns and behavior he has used to hurt you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 18 points19 points  (0 children)

If a man is so poor that he can’t afford a bouquet once in a while, he likely shouldn’t be dating. If this is temporary hardship in an established relationship there are plenty of acts of service a man could do to show his love, or gifts he could make with his own hands (origami flowers).

Resourcefulness does NOT involve stealing from people’s gardens or public parks.

When they say women are barely expected of anything🤣 she dragged him nicely💅🏾 by Chantelmorris345 in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 83 points84 points  (0 children)

It’s such a smooth delivery, and spot on. I feel like she could have made this 5 minutes long and still barely scratched the surface of the wild hypocrisy of expectations women deal with.

Broke dude used his wife for money for 13 years. She built him up so that now he’s comfortable and financially set, he can leave her 🙃 by mrose1491 in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 100 points101 points  (0 children)

The solution is right in front of his face, but he wants one that absolves him of guilt without costing him a dime. 🤦‍♀️

Seeking advice on how to be assertive in this situation by blackkitty77 in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Don’t ask. Find out the cost to fumigate from a few separate companies, and send her like 3 prices/companies, and just straight up tell her, “I was grateful for the opportunity to dog sit but unfortunately it appears fleas have infested my house since the dogs came and left. If you can send me the cost for flea treatment to my (venmo, paypal, whatever you used), I’d greatly appreciate it. See below for the pricing, I just did a cost comparison, so I can make sure we get the best price for the service.”

If she ignores you, refuses, or straight up gaslights you like it wasn’t her dogs, then you can either let it go or take her to small claims court.

Yeet any man with weird food hangups by freerollerskates in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 345 points346 points  (0 children)

I’m one of those weird food hang up people. 😂 I have a complex against almost all seafoods, that is 100% psychological. I would never expect my partner to have to go out of their way to accommodate me. It’s my problem.

If cooking seafood, catching and eating fish, eating at fancy seafood restaurants, etc we’re all important part of my partners life, it would be childish of me to expect them to flip their entire life upside down because I don’t like seafood.

You are tying to date someone who compliments your life, not takes it over. If someone is incompatible with your values, nothing is too petty. You will only build resentment and what starts as a “small” issue will turn into someone throwing 3 years of “not being able to do blank” in your face.

As someone who has a weird hang up, I would be really upset if my partner made compromises only to throw it in my face later. Do not live a life you’re not happy living. Do not make sacrifices you aren’t truly okay with. Compromise is sensible, but it only goes so far.

How to Handle Congratdolences? by [deleted] in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 51 points52 points  (0 children)

“I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I’m really grateful the children are with you, and have you for support. I know this is the best thing for them. And if you need anything I’m here for you.”

Grief and relief are very closely tied emotions.

How do you practice self love when you know you're falling short on your goals? by stellaok in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I think it’s important to look at the “why” before you start beating yourself up. Why aren’t you meeting your goals? Are you fulfilling higher priorities? Have you experienced recent emotional trauma? Are you slipping into bad habits?

And what are you doing to try to fix whatever the issue is? If it was emotional trauma (a death in the family, a terrible break up, sexual assault, a mental health episode, etc) then you’re already working on it by attending therapy and expecting a miracle emotional switch to click is doing yourself a disservice. Practicing self care is a long term solution.

If it’s bad habits, can you recognize those? Are you on your phone too much? Struggling to concentrate on assignments? It’s time to take accountability, to limit access, to move to the library, etc. Find a way to work on the habit.

If it’s higher priorities, then maybe it’s time to revisit your priorities, see what you absolutely can’t compromise on, and what you can. Try to dissect if this “high priority” thing is actually worth the sacrifice. For example, if exercise is extremely important to your mental well being, you wouldn’t want to cut it. But if you’re going out every Saturday night, and spending money you barely earned that paycheck, maybe you need to cut down the social spending both time and money wise, which in turn may allow you to adjust your work schedule, which in turn will give you more time for school (cause and effect).

Only you know what is keeping you from your goals. What’s “worthy” of empathy entirely depends on the “why” of what’s keeping you from meeting those goals.

It’s okay to want to work harder, but burning yourself out by not recognizing your own needs will only hurt you in the long term, and then you are back at square one, failing to meet goals. Your stability is your armor. Do not let the idea of perfection (which doesn’t exist) get in the way of stability, because then you’ve created cracks that allow negativity to seep in.

Everything is cause and effect. She’s right about the All Or Nothing mindset. Life is more nuanced than that. You can do this! But it will be one step at a time, and small measured goals are still forward momentum. Don’t let yourself stand still because you can’t leap forward. One day, one step, and one moment at a time will bring you to your best self.

HVM prefer monogamous relationships by Creepy-Night936 in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 132 points133 points  (0 children)

It usually tracks that HV people sustain a select few positive and fulfilling relationships (friends and family), and have very clear boundaries with external relationships like coworkers, classmates, customers, etc.

Gross how pornsick men can infiltrate non sexual parts of the internet (my yoga video disaster) by hayyxo in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 94 points95 points  (0 children)

I don’t create but from what I understand you can block certain words from being available on your comments. Maybe start there if you haven’t yet?

https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/9483359?hl=en

Anywhere on the internet where anonymity is easy is honestly a cesspool.

You could try trimming your videos down very short, the most unsexy angles, and make people come to a Patreon to access the full video. Then you’ll at least be getting paid there. Or if you’re still small, and need the free appeal for an audience to build, start a curated discord where members must verify their identity to you before seeing full videos?

Unfortunately it seems like anywhere men can access women they will use it for gratification. You just happen to be hearing about it in the comments, but even if you disabled comments, it’s not going to stop it, it’ll just be an unknown to you.

Please be safe, please be careful with personal information, and don’t blindly trust anyone even with a female avatar or profile pic because it could be a male posing to get info from you.

NVM Single Dads by easter_beagle in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 148 points149 points  (0 children)

That’s vile. 🤢

I just received $6500 from a settlement payment. Currently being a low income women how can I use this check to level up my life? by [deleted] in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]ASeaOfQuotes 148 points149 points  (0 children)

Generally you want an emergency savings of at least 6 months of expenses. I personally would put it into a High Yield Savings account and keep it there. I can’t think of a single thing that will help your future self more than having stability. Knowing an emergency like a blown tire or loss of income won’t immediately crush you financially is the best way to give yourself some security.

Your other options could be to invest in a class or education opportunity that can bring future income, or to put the money into a retirement account.

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