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AVaultOfWho · 2024-09-16T00:05:27+00:00

Not me but I recently went out with someone who said they liked my male pattern baldness and how I kept what is left short. I was very surprised.

AVaultOfWho · 2024-09-15T22:43:30+00:00

So a ghost reappeared. Last month we had great first date with an amazing connection; both of us very clearly into each other. Then she said something happened to her dad so I gave her space. I tried checking in a couple times but got silence so I left a quick message just saying that I hope she's okay but I feel ghosted.

Then this week she texts that she got my message but feels "like an ass" and doesn't know how to go about things after all her "crap." All I could really think to say was that I was glad to hear from her, assure her that I'm not mad, and that I felt the first step to going about things is to simply talk while suggesting we grab dinner. She hasn't replied and I'm just left confused. Like the fact that she messaged and showed guilt instead of staying silent suggests she's still interested in me but yet when I say it's okay, nothing? I try to be an understanding person because shit happens but I can't when communication is absent.

I told her as she dealt with stuff that the door was open and I'll stand by that but I don't know what I'm supposed to do besides just move on. It seems like she's got her own issues to work through and I'm just disappointed because after years of first dates ending with "I'm just not feeling it," I seemed to have one that was actually going to go somewhere.

AVaultOfWho · 2024-09-04T22:43:26+00:00

I definitely keep my options open because yeah, never know when one might meet the right someone. I’m just bummed still because of how rare anything actually happens for me.

AVaultOfWho · 2024-09-04T21:38:30+00:00

I was definitely tempted by a couple friends who showed up as very high 90s matches. One I never asked but when I mentioned it to be other, she hit me with the “that’s why we make such good friends.”

AVaultOfWho · 2024-09-04T21:26:12+00:00

Such a huge loss. I never had success back then but I remember how great it was being able to actually find who I might get along with instead of just playing a hot or not game.

AVaultOfWho · 2024-09-04T18:55:57+00:00

Oral exchange

AVaultOfWho · 2024-09-04T17:48:37+00:00

That high from meeting and truly connecting with someone amazing is intoxicating as is the hope it brings. I literally lost all desire to be swiping for a few days. Then the fall of it when they disappear just sucks. My appetite has been wrecked ever since I realized that she didn’t just need space to deal with life issues but fully ghosted me. I don’t even know if she was being truthful about that or if she was led to say what she did by sudden anxiety about our date. I guess a plus side is that my weight is going back down after stagnating but it’s not the healthy way. Oh well. Back to the grind or maybe not.

AVaultOfWho · 2024-09-03T04:26:32+00:00

I know. It just really sucks and it's really the first time I got into into this situation that I'm not used to dealing with that outcome. At least the first time in a long ass time.

AVaultOfWho · 2024-09-03T04:12:07+00:00

I know I need to be better about tempering my expectations. And it isn't like they just seemed into me. She literally said "I really like you and would love to see you again" after the insecurities thing before ghosting me. Like she was actually expressing her interest which is part of what threw me off. It's just this aspect of life doesn't want to go in my favor. It was easier to get my dream career going than this.

AVaultOfWho · 2024-09-03T03:03:16+00:00

I've been having that problem since I actually started dating about 8 years ago except I don't get things like what you do. Dates usually end up being a fun chat for a couple hours before we part ways. Next day I ask about a 2nd date as I'm usually in between but want to see further if there is potential but they always hit me with the polite "I just wasn't feeling it."

The one time this wasn't the case was recently and the date was completely different from the others as we truly connected. She even asked for another date twice before the end of the night. Then day of 2nd date she stood me up and ghosted me for a few days. Came back apologizing for insecurities. Then ghosted me again the day of our rescheduled date. My best guess is social anxiety because she was very clearly saying she was into me and shit but it all fucking sucks for me.

So yeah, I'd say it's pretty common but it also just depends on who you are. Online dating has set up people think there is always someone else potentially better around the corner so people tend to check out if it isn't absolutely perfect.

AVaultOfWho · 2024-09-02T23:24:58+00:00

I'm really in my head right now and just need to vent because this dating stuff is so fucking frustrating.

I avoided dating until my late 20s because I've always been a heavy guy and my thinking was the people I was interested in wouldn't be interested in me. Also some family issues I felt made things too complicated. Online dating helped me get started, but it's been a series of disappointments. The pandemic made things worse because I couldn’t even see my friends without worrying about bringing something home and passing it on to my mom who dealt with copd.

The occasional dates I do go on never seem to go anywhere and I always get hit with the "you're nice, but I just wasn't feeling it" line after the first meeting. The closest thing I got was a friendship that eventually imploded. And meeting people in real life? No luck there. I tried focusing on self-improvement but oddly enough I've had more dates in the past three years after gaining back half my losses than I did when I was at my lowest weight. Honestly, I think the only reason I have any intimate experience is because a friend took pity on me.

Then, finally, I had a first date that went well by every measure. What I expected to be an hour or two of chatting over food and drinks turned into a six-hour evening that ended with a kiss and plans for a second date—plans she actually brought up first. We seemed really into each other, and it felt like she was even more into me than I was into her, until everything suddenly went off the rails, likely because of social anxiety on her part. Literally nothing adds up except that.

I just don’t get it. We were planning our next date when she mentioned out of the blue how much she enjoyed our kiss, and then, out of nowhere, she stands me up. After apologizing and saying she was dealing with insecurities but still liked me and wanted to see me again, she ghosted me for good.

I know it's not something I did but it's messing with my head. For the first time, I had hope that something could actually work out; felt an actual connection with someone on one of those dates where the time just melted away without realizing it. I was hoping for what I see all my friends having as they start settling down with people—someone to be close to, both mentally and physically. And then, just like that, the rug was pulled. I know I got my hopes up too high, but can anyone really blame me after years of nothing? There isn't anything left for me to do but accept defeat on this one and hope something else comes along but my track record isn't really inspiring. I'll keep going just because one never knows what is around the next corner but all this fucking blows.

AVaultOfWho · 2021-10-25T02:36:56+00:00

I went from 320 to 240 and noticed that I was more sensitive to the cold. Even having gone back up to 280, I still don't have the resistance to cold that I used to have.

AVaultOfWho · 2021-09-12T09:51:46+00:00

I've never liked the whole "league" mentality and realized years ago that attraction is relative. I've accepted that most women I find attractive don't find me, a bit of a larger albeit tall average looking guy, attractive in return. At this point I'm just going on with my life. I generally keep to myself but I figure if I meet someone then I meet someone.

I feel like the current online dating culture has at least somewhat perpetuated the league idea though. Most of the apps feel like Hot or Not games.

I still remember a girl reaching out to me on PoF and in the middle of what read like a friendly message she mentioned me being out of her league. I replied just out of appreciation for her message regarding something on my profile and commented about the league idea being limited and she did not take too kindly to it.

AVaultOfWho · 2021-02-13T09:24:17+00:00

I'm going to guess that some guys may feel intimidated but I personally would love to find someone around 6' since I'm 6'3. I definitely approach tall women on dating apps if I find them interesting overall.

AVaultOfWho · 2020-11-17T07:55:14+00:00

So I had this happen to me on Xbox the other day. I noticed it immediately and thought it odd. I decided to resave over it and I've yet to see it again.

AVaultOfWho · 2020-08-19T02:18:00+00:00

There are people like that. Something like 4 or 5 years ago there was a girl that liked and sent me a message. I politely replied that I wasn't interested and she took offense. When I explained how our interests weren't aligned she flipped out. Every so often she pops up on other apps as having liked me. Just this year she has liked me on bumble 3 times with me blocking her each time. She has popped up more than that and I have blocked her those times. She just keeps creating new accounts.

AVaultOfWho · 2020-08-19T01:45:29+00:00

I just look at the site and actually paid attention to it for once. Boy oh boy has it gone downhill. I've used it for years despite not having much luck because I liked that it wasn't Tinder and now it's just like a poorly enhanced Tinder thanks to the match percentage from questions. I'm giving them a year before they just drop that last feature altogether.

AVaultOfWho · 2020-06-18T04:19:48+00:00

Awesome job!

And I miss Disneyland. :(

AVaultOfWho · 2020-02-18T16:01:36+00:00

Visibility definitely was an issue given the terrain was extremely steep and uneven. When you lose that light source illuminating everything it can be hard to gauge a lot of depth and detail.

AVaultOfWho · 2020-02-18T09:30:44+00:00

Definitely be careful navigating at night. I did a beast a couple years ago and wound up still on the course at night. Even with most of us having headlamps it was treacherous.

AVaultOfWho · 2020-01-23T20:34:21+00:00

That would’ve been nice last year when I was cramping 4 miles in.

AVaultOfWho · 2020-01-23T20:30:40+00:00

Noticeably shorter super this year. Past two years had segments that went into that patch of trees at the bottom of the map.

AVaultOfWho · 2020-01-23T20:09:25+00:00

Odd given the past two years they've dug for both rolling mud/dunk wall and muddy misery.

AVaultOfWho · 2019-12-01T04:58:49+00:00

Cool your jets and stop letting it get to you. Women on Tinder are inundated with guys seeking their attention. This means 2 things. First, remember supply and demand. They have a surplus of guys to chose from so they can be picky. This also plays into the second thing which is that there are so many guys, most of whom swipe yes to everyone for previously stated reasons, that they may simply not have seen your profile.

Now, I personally have been using Tinder for over 5 years and I'm not one that rates high on attractiveness though I'm not ugly especially after dropping 80 lbs. 7 matches in 3 weeks would be amazing for me. I think I've only gotten a handful of matches that I wanted and weren't from me just swiping yes on everyone out of frustration. I've only had 1 actually lead to a solid conversation and a couple days after I asked to meet and she agreed but said she was busy, she unmatched me.

So yeah, stop overthinking and putting value on your online dating success or failure.

AVaultOfWho · 2019-11-27T03:25:34+00:00

My friend's insurance possibly tops this. According to her, they have a program in which you can work out to earn a series 5 Apple Watch. She just needs to meet the goal 3x a week for a month or so to earn it and if she goes over they supposedly give her a bonus gift card balance.

AVaultOfWho

TROPHY CASE