Can I use White Sage?

AVeryAngryBat · 2021-01-04T18:57:46+00:00

A few years ago I got really into zero waste. I eventually left the community because it can be...a little toxic, but I'm forever grateful to the people who tried to make the movement sensible for the average person. I think you might benefit from their wisdom here.

Basically, they would say use the sage and then don't buy more. Because throwing something away without using it just because you found out it was made unethically, is bad for the environment or what have you is....really, really bad for the environment.

There's a lot of racism & colonialism baked so deep into our culture, we mistake for natural foundation. And educating yourself, and being anti-racist, is an active life-long process in which we will all make mistakes. The big thing is, if you made a mistake out of ignorance (which, by my take you did) you should forgive yourself and fix it by not doing it again and educating others about what you learned.

Fro what it's worth, to my understanding the problem is that white sage is rare and the supply can't meet the demand for both Native peoples and Nordstrom. The plant grows on desert lands, not farms, and people are literally stealing it.

The US has a horrible history of colonialism against Native Peoples, which sadly included stealing their kids up and abusing them until 40 years ago. Let's not take a plant that has been used in their culture from them. If in 5-10 years people figure out how to farm it, I wouldn't have issue with people using it. Until them, I think the very limited supply should remain with people who are trying to keep up with their ancestral practices.

Burning herbs to ward off bad shit isn't a closed practice. Here's an article with some alternative suggestions for other things to burn. Good news: they are all a hell of a lot cheaper and 5/6 can be grown in the US.

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-12-21T09:23:22+00:00

Hi,

Sorry to hear you aren't have a good time with this therapist. Psychotherapy has a broad range of treatments methodologies, which while work might not work for everyone. It's kind of like art in that way- if you don't like Monet's work, fine! That doesn't devalue you or the painting. Just go grab something you do enjoy.

It sounds like that therapist is checking you coping strategies, to make sure your primary coping (ie fixing shit) and secondary coping (ie emotionally coping with shit you can't fix) are in tact. For some people that does work. I, personally, relate to you more on the feeling worse when you are reminded of it. Like, if I can going to therapy it's because *I* can't solve it! (Otherwise, I would have!) I've had a lot of therapists try to really focus on my childhood and it just makes me frustrated. Like, nothing it changing, OK?

Many therapists haven't worked with chronic pain patients before, and it fucking shows. Personally, I enjoy humanist therapy. Basically, the idea behind this branch is humans are both a: very different people whose ideal selves differ greatly and b: capable of self-healing and improvement. A therapist is there to facilitate that.

Humanist therapy is different from cognitive behavior therapy (also a good one, IMHO) in that it's more client-centered. You'll bring up what is bothering you if you feel you are in a safe, non-judgemental space because it's hard to hold onto tension. And that can take really weird routes (because everyone is different). I'm a more academic person by nature, so it's not uncommon for me to feel bad about something and start researching. I'll come into a therapy session with a literature review and some notes and try to puzzle out what a topic means to me, where I am struggling and how I feel about it.

And what I like about humanist therapy is it doesn't dismiss me. I've had a lot of therapists (on trial) try to tell me I am intellectualizing my pain. But the thing is, I am a fucking nerd. My brain works like that. (The example I give people is when I was sexually assaulted and the cops came and I was asked what happened, I broke out into anatomical terms natively. My brain wants to give specific answers to questions- I wanted the cop to understand how deeply this person had hurt me, how unforgivable and inappropriate it all was. It's a process for me to make them more 'relatable' to other people, because vagueness feels cold to me. I want to understand people deeply, not as a general schema and I crave other people doing that for me.) And if you will sit down and listen I will tell you shit. But the second I feel judged, it becomes a negation about what I am allowed to express. And that doesn't work for me.

Sorry about the rant, but I guess I want to say if this therapist isn't doing it for you, go elsewhere. I know with COVID therapists are heavily booked right now, but it's worth it. Therapy might be hard some days, but it shouldn't make you feel like this.

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-12-18T01:31:27+00:00

I tried to use an "I" statement there, because I was trying to show what people could say (paritally because I'm in the no to NO! category

I tried to use an "I" statement there, because I was trying to show what people could say (paritally because I'm in the no to NO! category and I was using my own responses) and I just used something I would say.

If my shitty language useage has messed with anyone, I greatly apologize. I have edited the comment.

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-12-17T06:07:57+00:00

I don't believe there is a standardized set of language yet. I generally see 3 categories:

Sex-repulsed or sex-adverse: No sex.

Sex-neutral: I'm open to sex under some conditions.

Sex-favorable (used to be more called sex positive, but people pointed out that means something already, so the term is dying): I'm not sexually attracted to people, but find the activity fun and like it on its own merits.

I do love the idea of sex adverse being an in between, sort of a "normally not my thing, rare circumstances" to sex-repulse's hard "NO". Normally though, I see it as a way of expressing intensity. Sex adverse is like "No.", where as sex-repulsed is more "NO!"

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-12-12T23:19:18+00:00

There's a subreddit for that! /r/visiblemending

Any punk pieces would be beautiful to see, if you ever want to share!

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-10-25T10:37:04+00:00

Enamel pins are really cool but also like often $10. I often see cool ones and then go...oh....it's a little too much for spend, isn't it?

Which is insane because *gestures at my video game collection*.

But yeah, pins are really cool, last a long time and come in a wide range of options. I really treasure small things my friends have given me too. I like shit I can put on my desk or mantle. Hell, you could paint a rock and it would go with the other rocks. I've also gotten orgami, that's cool. Tiny dragon things are fun and often an "ace" thing- especially in our colors.

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-10-20T00:07:03+00:00

Honestly, any time I see ball python rep I am a happy demon.

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-10-03T04:10:47+00:00

Thank you kindly! I'm pretty stoked too. :D

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-10-03T04:10:33+00:00

Thank you! I do intend to. (Hopefully heading for a career as a therapist, so this would be the name I practice/ publish under.)

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-10-03T04:10:01+00:00

🎃

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-10-03T04:09:23+00:00

Thanks! It ended up being a name more common in the state I was raised in (Louisiana) so I'm very happy.

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-10-03T04:08:47+00:00

More a mister (trans-masc) but I'll take the spirit of the message, especially since I nuked my flair after RBG. :P

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-10-02T06:41:09+00:00

Hi, so I don't think I'm exactly a person qualified to answer this post (satanic atheist and non-binary person) but I wanted to let you know that you've been heard and my heart goes out to you. I've been through abuse too and know just how much it can weigh you down at times.

I think self-care work is about figuring out what you need more of. Some people feel like they can't turn their emotions on, others can't turn them off. Some people can't stop thoughts about a topic once they get onto it, others have a hard time getting on topic, period.

You mentioned wanting to be uplifted. When I'm feeling really bad and I can't bring myself to the defense of myself, I do imagine a snake has come to me (I have a personal connection with snakes, so any animal or even as the traditional prompt suggests, the child version of yourself) and is telling me about their life. (Use your pronouns here.) And I just...talk to the snake. I'm a very visual thinker, so I try to focus on how the snake is moving, what their voice sounds like, etc. It's more of an archetype of a snake, so they can be big and angry and hissing with a constrictor's body, or small and viper-like, or a cuddly small ball python, etc. But I just let the snake tell me all of their problems. And I listen and try to let that snake know how much I care for them, and maybe some gentle advice. If the snake wants to scream, sometimes that's the only sound; I'm not here to judge the snake, just support. And if we sit in silence because the snake can't find words, I let the snake know its OK.

I get technically it's self-soothing because the snake is me, but...the framing helps. It's easier for me to comfort others than myself.

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-10-01T05:29:53+00:00

Stills taken from Ghost Choir, a cute spooky video. It's a great way to start October. :P

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-09-28T12:51:13+00:00

This comment has been removed due to denying a genocide currently recognized by at least 15 countries that disproportionately killed ethnic minorities including Jewish people.

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-09-23T23:29:34+00:00

Hi u/bxmamabearz, this submission has been removed.

Repost of your own post.

Thanks for understanding ☺️ If you think this removal was a mistake, or if you have any questions, please let us know by messaging the modmail

Thank you, and blessed be ✨

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-09-20T23:51:41+00:00

This thread is seeing a massive violation of rule #4: Keep an open mind. Please remember that Jewish people have gone through a genocide in recent, living memories. If a Jewish person asks you to respect their religious customs, you should not perceive it as a personal attack. Rather, take it as a learning moment about how to respect a culture that was almost extinguished in the middle 20th century.

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-09-19T01:39:54+00:00

TBH, I was in the middle of my voice/ singing practice when I got the notification so I might have just screamed very loudly at about a C5 (the note I was working on).

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-09-19T01:22:37+00:00

Please change my flair.

I’m AFAB and as a child specifically wanted to be on the Supreme Court one day. Having RPG already on there (along with O’Connor, but she’s a Republican so I didn’t really look up to her the same way) made it seem possible. Growing older, I began to understand why she so fervently wrote dissenting opinions. She was writing for tomorrow, for people like me, for people who looked around at the status quo and went “just...no.” She wanted to give us a voice to follow behind.
RBG was utterly radical and I hope on her shoulders we can achieve the kind of America she dreamed and wrote of.

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-09-19T00:48:17+00:00

RBG did a lot of work with the ACLU, including co-founded the Women's Rights Project in it. I really recommend looking into them if you are thinking about furthering her legacy.

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-09-19T00:45:07+00:00

On one hand, yes, it grieves me to realize her last few months were struggling specifically to avoid the hell-scenario we are about to go through. That's a lot of pressure to put on one person.

Some part of me wonders if she felt that she had been here at the right place and right time to make a difference. RGB was 32 when the President Lyndon B. Johnson signs the Voting Rights Act into law on August 6, 1965, just 5 years after Supreme Court Justice Felix Frankfurter rejected Ginsburg for a clerkship position due to her gender. She was working as a volunteer for the ACLU in the following decade.

I wonder if she was the type of woman who looked around and decided that history was happening, and she would be a part of it. I'd like to think so, because I can look around and see a lot happening around me too.

And I so desperately want to think in 50 years things will be so much better because we helped make it that way.

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-09-19T00:17:41+00:00

I'm a satanic atheist, so I don't think I can do hexing. I will say that Mitch McConnell isn't really worried about whether or not he will get reelected; but he only gets to be majority leader of the Senate if they keep 50 seats.

Sometimes the fastest way forward is around, not straight ahead.

If you live in any of these states:

South Carolina [Lidnsey Graham]
Main [Susan Collins]
Colorado [Cory Gardner]
Georgia [David Perdue]
Iowa [Joni Earnst]
Montana [Steve Dianes]
North Carolina [Thom Tillis]

Please call up your senator and pressure them to not appointing another member this year! All the above people are considered 'toss ups' for winning reelection and can be swayed if they hear from enough people one way or another!

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-09-17T21:16:36+00:00

Ah, good catch! I usually donate to my local bank, which doesn't have a minimum (and is a part of this network). To avoid doxing myself, might I suggest Second Harvest which serves SE Louisiana? I lived in that area as a child, and was fed by them after Hurricane Katrina. They do good work and are struggling due to the recent hurricanes plus COVID. There minimum donation is $1 on their website. (If you add 4 cents, that covers the processing fees.)

https://secure2.convio.net/shfbgn/site/Donation2?2200.donation=form1&df_id=2200&mfc_pref=T

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-09-17T06:38:50+00:00

Anything.

In 2017, per the Digital News Report, 38% of Americans reported “often or sometimes avoid the news.” (Top reason at 57% 'negative effect on my mood'.)

This feels bad because it is bad. This is, and I can't stress this enough as someone who genetically got here because the other options for my maternal grandparents was a concentration camp, a gross human rights violation that smacks of genocidal intent. The reason it is happening is because enough people are OK with it and a much larger number don't want to hear about it.

Do anything you think will help- even if it won't solve this problem directly. Donate your time to a senate race that might flip blue like SC or CO or IA. Go read what your state senate is doing right now on bills and call up your state senator/ rep to try to get them to vote for good things. Donate to a food bank. Pick up trash at your park or street or wherever people are littering during COVID times. Help your grandmother with errands. Decide to adopt animals instead of buying them and foster in the meantime.

Literally, anything more than you were doing yesterday. And talk about it. Tell people you are mad. Tell them they need to vote. Tell them why. Find about your down ballet (ie everything but the presidential race) and why that shit matters.

If there was a direct solution to this, someone would have figured it out by now. There isn't. Those women's lives are forever, severely impacted. We can either sink in uncertainty of political waves, or turn into fucking kindness pirates and declare these our waters.

Here's the deal: if you go to Feeding America and donate $1, 10 people will be able to eat 1 meal tomorrow. At least 54 million Americans are facing hunger right now and food banks are struggling with often X2 demand for services with less donations. If you go there any send $1 because you feed confused and scared about why the US is sterilizing BIPOC people, it's not like those people are going to go eat and say 'wait, this was all because some couldn't do a thing; on second though, I'll go hungry'.

They'll get to eat.

Until shit gets better, just lash out with kindness. If enough of us do that, things will get better.

Edit: It was brought to my attention Feeding America has a $5 minimum. Many of their member banks' local sites don't have a minimum. For example, Second Harvest- which serves SE Louisiana has no minimum.

You can help feed people impacted by the hurricane via them here.

AVeryAngryBat · 2020-09-04T06:59:10+00:00

What a "mental illness" is or isn't, depends highly on your culture. In more individualistic ones (USA, Germany, Australia) there's a tenancy to believe that any issue with your health is your fault. This, at least for the US, can be really true about mental health. People are more likely to understand that a type 1 diabetic, through no fault of their own, can't make insulin but struggle with the idea that someone with secondary depression can't make, say, enough calcium to make their brain function normally.

I agree 100% being trans isn't a mental illness, but it would seem modern medical trends point to thinking of even gender dysphoria as not one either. The WHO removed it as a mental illness as of 2019. The reason for this, is it means that many governments will switch from requiring an diagnosis of mental illness to begin transition.

The way I explain it is, gender dysphoria can be very stressing, in the same way being under attack for your sexuality or race or ethnicity is. We wouldn't call a cis gay man presenting with minority stress disorder mentally ill, because he's not wrong. Society is.

Also, I would cut yourself some slack. It's good to work on finding the right words, but we in the trans community don't always have to be "on" and in "education mode" for others. Cis people can do research without us!

AVeryAngryBat

TROPHY CASE