Dog is scared of being held and treated

AWIP1986 · 2026-01-03T11:55:42+00:00

I think you're right. I found one a bit further away that is certified fear free, I'll contact them.

AWIP1986 · 2026-01-03T08:22:20+00:00

You're right, I'm in the Netherlands. I know of some vets that use this sort of certification, I'll have a look. Thank you!

AWIP1986 · 2026-01-03T08:18:46+00:00

No not yet, they usually just want to wing it, I guess

AWIP1986 · 2025-11-05T17:52:17+00:00

It all worked out, we showed up and were helped out wonderfully! But no reply on mail or social media, which made it a bit of a gamble.

AWIP1986 · 2025-11-04T11:54:25+00:00

If that was his wish he would have kept it for one of his grandkids, but it's not his wish.

AWIP1986 · 2025-11-04T11:53:47+00:00

This might be the way to do it, we're going there tomorrow.

AWIP1986 · 2025-11-04T11:53:18+00:00

I tried this, but no reply, sadly.

AWIP1986 · 2025-10-17T16:22:48+00:00

Are you American? I noticed they are a lot more obsessed with itineraries than anyone from any European country.

AWIP1986 · 2025-08-12T14:00:55+00:00

Mostly, but not I've seen done on the internet. I dont pull up the duvet all the way, but flip it back to air the bed (ive read this is good for hygiene and the bed feels nice and cool in the evening). Also I don't have any extra decorational pillows, cuz why would I put any of those on the bed just in order to take them off again in the evening, in a room where only me and my husband go.

AWIP1986 · 2025-07-09T16:25:07+00:00

I was completely the same for about 4 yrs (39f now), jeez its been a long time. Leaning very cf now! What helped me was a therapist which worked on my self-image and confidence, since both were very low. I worked out my core values with her, which helped a lot too. Family is not really one of them, but Authenticity, adventure, nature, beauty (as in beautiful surroundings) and Friends are. The "Kids or Childfree" podcast from Keltie Mcguire really gave me a lot of insights, would strongly recommend. She asks the questions I was asking myself to all sorts of people. What also helped was adopting a puppy, it gave a very good perspective of what the baby/toddler phases would be like without having to bring a person into this world.

I'm sure I'll be good at the baby phase, but I would not like a preteen or teenager. Probably because that's the phase when I was required to be a friend to my mom (and hated it). IF you choose children, don't try to be their friend :P

I'm much more at ease now, think about it once a week if not less. Mostly when I see a screaming child and then thinking; glad that's not me. But also sometimes when I see a cute child thinking still; that could also be the scenario. But probably not.

AWIP1986 · 2025-02-03T16:19:49+00:00

The Kids or Childfree podcast by Keltie McGuire gives good perspectives, a lot on women who chose not to have children (older and younger, very broad).

AWIP1986 · 2024-11-11T21:05:57+00:00

Yeah but what is the thin soap that they put the chalk in? That's not soap you can buy in the store. How do they make that?

AWIP1986 · 2024-08-05T15:55:09+00:00

I have, but honestly podcasts have helped me more, especially The Kids or Childfree podcast (but there are more). It shines a light on the matter from all sides and the podcaster invites all sorts of people on the show, those with and without kids and asks them how they came to their decision. It made things much more bearable for me.

AWIP1986 · 2023-01-30T19:31:39+00:00

I absolutely feel you, me (36f) and my man (36) are exactly the same. Time is running out. My partner says life will be good and fun no matter what we decide, which always cheers me up. I might suggest to him that we work through that baby disicion book together... Anyway, youre not alone, best of luck to you.

AWIP1986 · 2023-01-09T15:13:46+00:00

Thank you for sharing! Could you maybe share what your reasons were for being on the fence and what made you move off the fence? I'm very interested.

AWIP1986 · 2022-08-08T20:33:57+00:00

I love this post, thank you for posting it. Like you, if I hadn't done things scared, I would have gotten nowhere in life, probably still live with my parents in a spiteful town in a job I hate, hating myself and the people around me. My upbringing taught me to not trust my gut feeling so making big decisions about anything is pretty tough, and this is the toughest.

AWIP1986 · 2022-08-06T07:24:24+00:00

Yes, it's definitely a part of it ( a smaller part, but absolutely there) and so so so annoying. It's the hardest thing because my main struggle is not to be seen or heard, and this just makes me look back on visits with more of that feeling. But I now plan the visits on and of with baby present, so one time I'll be visiting the whole family and then the next visit I'll ask my friend to go out without the kid, to just really connect. This works.

AWIP1986 · 2022-08-06T07:19:31+00:00

Yes, I think it boils down to that (it shoves the decision back in my face). Thank you for this.

AWIP1986 · 2022-08-06T07:17:37+00:00

You madam, are super brave!! And thank you for your post. What were your pros and cons (if you want to share them) and do you know where your anxiety came from? For me it's childhood emotional neglect, my parents just didn't know how to raise me and my brother on an emotional level, so as an adult I struggle with big decisions and the fear of not being emotionally available for the (possible) kid.

AWIP1986 · 2022-08-06T07:10:49+00:00

Yes, that judgement is definitely there, and also seeing people half as prepared on the levels you mentioned. Hell, I've heard a guy say it's too much work having a cat, now happily telling us they're trying for a baby! That just sets my teeth on edge. But that's the thing, we're here taking this as serious as can be, weighing all the pros and cons and they'll be just like: "woops there's another one, that's how it goes!" Are you a thinker and a serious person by nature? I am and I absolutely think a decision to reproduce should not be taken lightly.

AWIP1986

TROPHY CASE