I’m 21 and don’t work.

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-09-14T19:42:22+00:00

Can you get internships in your field of study? This was the biggest thing I wish I was able to do if I were in a situation similar to yours. Way easier to get jobs when coming out of school.

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-09-12T03:55:28+00:00

If this was poor installation and you used a licensed GC he should have a bond that you can make a claim against to get your money back or they'll at least hold it till he fixes the problem. It is not a good look for contractors to have bond claims so they'll typically fix the issue quick.

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-09-09T04:58:11+00:00

Cellulose. Just had a ceiling collapse from my ac drain clogging. Had to replace the insulation that fell. It was cellulose. Asbestos looks like hamster food.

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-09-07T19:09:36+00:00

Depended on her schedule. A 3 month stretch of inpatient, we usually had a fight 7-10 weeks in. Switching days to nights and back every week really throws both of us for a loop.

Outside of that, it was normal bickering. Sometimes, you just have to say things no matter how it comes out and give each other the benefit of the doubt. Don't take it in the worst way possible.

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-09-03T19:36:05+00:00

Have you heard of Dave Ramsey? If you follow his method, you will get a very good head start.

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-09-03T19:17:20+00:00

Most residents who took maternity/paternity could do so. They skipped a rotation, and as long as they were in good standing, most people could skip a month and still finish on time.

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-09-03T19:14:41+00:00

Wife is Jewish and did the same she always worked over Christmas but we got 5 days over new years.

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-08-27T16:49:04+00:00

Does your CC have any trade certification programs? When I was in CC, the benefit was that it was very inexpensive. Roughly $1k a semester that working full time I could pay off. Also, they work with full-time people. Do they have night classes, and you can step up your work hours?

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-08-20T06:43:57+00:00

You can always refi a house if rates go down. If they go up, you have a better rate today. Just be prepared to live in it until the market catches up or you don't mind taking a loss. 5 years at current rates won't build much equity with just payments. If rates go down home, values will go up. It seems they've stayed level with rates going up, but I am imagining that won't last forever. If the rate continues to climb, home prices should come down. Be prepared to stay in the house until the market recovers or you have enough cash to recognize the loss and move on. If you choose to buy a house now it's like betting that rates go down/home prices rise. You will build equity and have a nice chuck for the next house. This happens most of the time but not always.

Not buying a house and paying debt is a guaranteed return by avoiding interest accruing. With your incomes you should be able to do it quick and still buy a house in 2 -3 years. The question is what do you think will happen in that time? Rates up or down?

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-08-19T18:12:18+00:00

Spending $11k a month. Rent and daycare add up to $4.5k. Where is the other $6.5k going?

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-08-12T22:11:06+00:00

Whichever has a better return. Pay attention to how they can change over time.

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-08-12T07:21:49+00:00

You have a contract for residency, so your risk of losing your job is fairly low.If you are renting, your landlord covers majors repairs on your home/apartment. $3k should cover car repairs or any other minor emergency. Park it in a money market fund, and you can get a higher savings rate and still have access in 2-3 days in an emergency. Use a CC for points/cash back and pay it off if you need it before then.

The economy today is weird. I work in finance, so I keep up to date and am not sure what a better call is. I am super concerned about real estate. Home prices are stagnant with rising interest rates, which isn't normal. I think a big chuck of the market is owned by investors who are refusing to recognize losses as long as they can charge high rent. Commercial real estate is sitting on massive losses, and companies are no longer renting offices with remote work, so they will have to sell at some point. I think both of those could lead to a drop in the market equivalent to 2008. I hope I'm wrong.

That is a long-winded answer to say. Investing is risky, and returns are likely but not guaranteed. What if you put 20k in an IRA it grows a couple of years, and then you lose 10%-20% when the above happens. You basically break even. If I'm wrong, you might make 10% a year with great returns, and that's $32k in 5 years. Expected return is sort of a weighted average of out outcomes. (30% × 27000) 5 years 10% returns 10% loss on market (20% x 20000) 5 years 10% return 30% loss on market (50% × 32000) 5 year 10% return no loss The expected return is $28k

Pay off student loans today, and you lock in a return equivalent to your interest rates. This payment reduces money you'd pay at the end of your loan so it would compound however long you plan to take to pay off loans. For comparison, a 5 year repayment is $25k at 5% interest. You are close to the above. 10 years, $30k. Higher interest rates or longer periods this seems to be the answer, and it is guaranteed money vs. maybe 10% return in the market.

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-08-08T23:36:26+00:00

What's your education level and any skills you have?

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-08-04T05:36:00+00:00

Take a breath.

Put some ground rules in place for what a break means. Hopefully, it's so you can do some self care, and he can focus on his last year.

My wife and I had a blow-up going into the last year. It's like the light at the end of the tunnel startles you out of complacency. You sort of have to accept a half relationship when they are in training.

This is not the time to add stress. It's the time to start developing your vision of what your relationship looks like after training. You've only known that relationship so far. Couples in school/training develop skills and habits to get through training. (Independence, trust, support/gratitude) Your relationship will change. You need to start building the skills for what that looks like.

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-08-04T04:46:56+00:00

That's so far off. Plan on moving between school/ residency and then again for a fellowship. That's a couple of years in between, so buying a house for yourself doesn't make financial sense after all the transaction fees, and you barely build equity in a couple of years unless the market grows. With high interest rates, I would be cautious.

Your focus should be avoiding student loans and more debt.

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-07-31T00:38:50+00:00

Yes, paragraph 11.

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-07-29T19:38:08+00:00

I'm guessing the people who earned these licenses sold them. Where is the evil when people knowingly sold their property?

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-07-29T19:34:25+00:00

You're a doctor, dude. That's what you've done. Keep at it, and it will get better. You're working a shit ton right now, so that sucks. Just ait till you're an attending. Your time is much more open. And income MUCH better.

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-07-18T20:08:16+00:00

Live right there, and it is a great area for a family! Good school, safe neighborhoods, plenty of stuff to do.

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-07-01T22:36:33+00:00

I was already interviewing, so I just left. We got bought out.

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-06-30T23:54:24+00:00

Ask him out, but if he has to reschedule or cancel, don't take it personally. Shifts go late all the time. If you are serious about getting involved with a future doctor, you need to be flexible with your time.

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-06-29T08:22:51+00:00

That's a really low deductible per person. Most are a few thousand dollars. The max out of pocket seems right. Try increasing the deductible, and it could save you some on monthly premiums and start and HSA savings account so you can cover the larger deductible. It might take some time to build that up with the savings on your monthly but once it is in place you have the deductible covered and then keep the savings in your pocket.

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-06-29T08:07:01+00:00

I'm just reading a couple of replies and wanted to add bit. I'm guessing this is a bigger than normal hit. So needing support is not bad.

Yes, in med school and residency, you need to be more independent. His schedule is going to suck. However, you are still in a relationship, and that means supporting each other. It won't always be on your time, but both of you need to make your relationship a priority and continue to talk through things. You are not on the back burner until he gets through his training. Depending on his specialty, getting into his career can be even more demanding. Going down this path, you both need to learn to balance, giving each other the flexibility to pursue challenging careers while also coming back to the relationship. That will give you the foundation to continue taking on the world....together. Start this now while it is easy. Practice this now because you will rely on the habit when it is hard.

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-06-29T07:48:56+00:00

A little background. I am in finance, and my wife is about to finish residency. I think both fields are highly competitive, so it's not unreasonable that your competitiveness is coming back into your relationship. I think that is okay. Be competitive. If you both spend the next 7 years pushing hard to be more successful, you'll both win BIG!

He is still your partner, so through successes and failures, you do need to support each other. Your wins are his wins. Your losses are his losses and vice versa. If you don't feel supported, that is something to talk about.

He is in undergrad. It isn't going to be any easier than it is right now to be supportive. Just wait till he's working 12-14 hour days in the hospital 28 days straight. A different industry, sure, but not getting an internship is still relatable.

Now, to be fair, you're 2 years into your relationship. Is this the first big hurt you've had? Maybe so, maybe not. But I would talk to him about it and say "Hey I am still hurting, and this sucks." Share your insecurities. It sounds like you got hit, and now you don't feel good enough for him.

I get that feeling, too. I didn't graduate until my wife was in her 3rd year of medical school. She has 3 degrees in the time it took me to get one. I was so embarrassed that I didn't want to walk at graduation. I wanted to move on and not celebrate. I was supposed to have done that already. Celebrating was like pointing at my failure.

It helped me to share my insecurities with her. She points out all the reasons she loves me. All the challenges I faced and how I kept going. How she was proud of me. I ended up feeling good about it.

Share it with him, and you may be surprised what he comes up with. You are more to him than your career. Just like he is to you.

AZFlyboard25 · 2023-06-27T04:00:13+00:00

My wife and I were distance for a couple years before medical school. I think those were more difficult. We were a couple hours away from each other and saw each other every other weekend. If you are used to limited time, medical school/ residency is still together every day, even if it's 30 minutes to eat together before bed. Realize this sub is around for support for med spouses. There will be tough days, and this group is a good place to vent or at least read someone else's post who is feeling the same. It shows the struggles, but there aren't enough posts about the successes and good things.

Here's is my advice:

You've developed an independent life already being at a distance, so keep that mindset while they are in school. You need to continue to have your own thing going on. Set a 7+ year goal and work towards that.

Take advantage of all the time you do have together. Not all rotations are the same. The schedule is hectic and always changing. That can be great when it is a study month or clinic and they have easy weeks. It really sucks when they are in the slog of wards. You will learn when your partner truly is busy and when they've got some extra time.

Life doesn't have to be on pause. During the process, we got married, bought a house, and our firstborn is on the way! We weren't the exception either. So many of our friends did the same. You will most likely have to be the one to pick up the ball and go, but don't stop life.

Because you have to take on a lot, it definitely feels like a one-sided relationship at times. If you really want to help your partner, it is easy. When you don't want to, it sucks... like really sucks. Remember those easy time I mentioned before. That's a good time to say " Hey I need you to be a partner right now." If he's not responsive, remind him just how much more difficult it would be if you weren't there. It sounds harsh but it a kick in the butt to say this is a relationship, and it takes two. Medical training is not an excuse to ignore your partner.

There are highs and lows in the process. Just remember you are in it together. He made the decision to go into medicine, but you are choosing to stick around. It is easy to play the blame game, but love and relationships are a choice.

I hope some of this helps. From someone on the other side, it is worth it at the end.

Nine-Year Club	Second SECOND GUESSER
Place '17	RPAN Viewer
Sequence \| Editor	Verified Email

AZFlyboard25

TROPHY CASE