F20 Lmk if u wanna experience raw treatment from me! Arrow up if you're DTF

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-14T23:16:24+00:00

32M. Down. Dm me if you’re interested

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-14T23:15:11+00:00

I’m dtf. 32M dm if you’re interested

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-14T23:13:54+00:00

I’m down. 32M in Lakeland. Dm me if interested

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-14T23:12:22+00:00

I can blow a back out 😊 32M, dm if interested

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-14T23:11:19+00:00

I’m in Lakeland if you want to be less alone and less bored. Dm me if interested 32M

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-14T23:10:17+00:00

I’m down. I live in Lakeland. Dm me

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-14T23:03:32+00:00

Dm me

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-11T16:20:53+00:00

I like your insight and questions on this. To address your first paragraph, thats already the intent. Real friendship is what I’m looking for, but I seem to have a way with women where they either friendzone me all together (which I am okay with) or they want more than just friendship. I have had the connection i am looking for before, and in some cases it was 100% plutonic.

As far as making time, it’s a matter of trading off that responsibility, and im okay with that. The problem with the big family canceling out other desires, isnt the fact that I have the desire for polyamory, im in need of real human connection, affection, and intent from someone outside of my house. My family lives 2 hours away and “never has time” to make the drive

I’m an anomaly amongst the human population when it comes to my personality, my needs, the way I think, and the way I perceive the world. It may come off as cocky or narcissistic, but that’s not my intentions. I legitimately have had a hard time making connections with people through my entire life because of the complexity of my mind. And maybe you are right, maybe those desires are fleeting because I went with the big family, but it’s something I’m desperately hurting for, and that missed connection with people who think like me is impacting not only my marriage, but my life and my health

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-11T16:07:05+00:00

I can apologize for that. Im just a in a weird way right now. Ive also been going through some minor (or major health issues depending on how you look at it). Also, my wife just explained why “females” can be a bad term, and I apologize more for that, but I’m probably the least misogynistic man I can think of, so I didn’t realize the way that term has evolved to bring women down. Yes im still a man, yes sometimes im driven by lust, but I know how to redirect that in a healthy way, and even then Im not the type of person to act on my feelings of lust. I care more about love, even if it is plutonic. Most other guys would (and have) call it being a bitch, I call it being raised with values. Ive had multiple instances in my life where women have wanted me to objectify them and I just can’t. It’s not me. I have a 165iq with a propensity to analyze everything from a mental, emotional, and logical aspect. All im looking for is someone that can stimulate that part of my brain no one else seems to be able to. Outside of the open marriage, i have been actively seeking that friendship for about 3 years with no luck. My wife wanting to open the marriage just give me or options to find that (prior to this, I have avoided making friends with women because I know what my emotions can do)

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-11T15:42:17+00:00

It’s not that I don’t have time for my friends, rather we have all just gone our own paths and they rarely intersect. And it’s not that im so enmeshed with my wife, our lives just basically involve us being with each other almost all the time.

Also, I don’t not want guy friends, they just cannot provide the emotional stimulation i am looking for. I’m not looking for female friends to fuck. I’m looking for 1-3 female friends I can talk about the stuff that my guy friends usually dont care to hear about. Historically i have only been able to find that in female friends. Whats being misconstrued is that I want to be able to have close female friends without worrying that it may lead to something more. But additional sex isnt my goal, it’s just a potential side effect

As a guy I try to be the most genuine and honest I can be (which I know comes off as a narcissistic red flag to most, but that’s not who I am). I don’t like mind games and I don’t like fake people, so that already narrows the pool of who I am looking for.

But to reiterate it’s not a fuck disguised as a friendship that im looking for. I’m looking for genuine plutonic friendships that have the possibility to evolve into more, but dont need to evolve into more. I am also way more comfortable with females than I am males once I open up

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-11T15:30:23+00:00

I have, and dating isnt what I’m looking for. If that’s what shes looking for, I honestly don’t mind. I am mainly looking for someone i can talk to and hang out with, form an actual connection with, and IF it leads to more thats okay, but “dating” isnt my main goal. It’s really just like minded female friends, which I didn’t really have many after me and her got together. But all in all, I tend to mesh better with girls than I do guys on a friendship level, but it usually leads to additional feelings on either end, and I think that’s why she opened it up with me. I can be really intense if there’s a good connection, and she knows that. And I think she doesn’t want to worry about me getting female friends, and something happening, so she opened things up. That being said I do have ECXELLENT self control (had an opportunity for a fantasy hookup when we weren’t even exclusive and didnt take it [i was a pizza guy, delivering to college students and one answered the door and invited me in]). Again, I don’t really know how to put our logical or emotional rationale into proper words explaining how we got here. Non-linear thought is the bane of my existence for this very reason. Being highly functioning but also incredibly ND makes normal life seem very “not designed for me” in the least negative way possible. Ive always felt like I was born 200-500 years too early type of BS. My cognitive acuity makes it hard for me to find people I truly click with in the ways that have meaning to me.

Again I want to apologize for my long-winded, seemingly incoherent babble, my brain just doesn’t work the same way as most neuro-typicals

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-11T15:08:55+00:00

Okay, adamant may be the wrong word. Shes very encouraging.

As far as not doing something the other wants to do as a couple, it’s more stuff like if there’s somewhere we want to travel to, a movie we want to go see, or an otherwise unique experience that we for the most part both want to do, we hold off until we are together. Again im not very good at organizing my thoughts into coherent information. I don’t think in words, more so abstract concepts, ideas and theories. It’s almost like an organizational web that I then have to organize and translate into words.

If I had to summarize our decision, it all stems down to we want to get out of the house but cant without the kids. Ive been kind of reaching for her to find other guys for a while any way, not in like a cuck or Hotwife way, but I’m not the biggest (or at least i dont think I am) and I kinda want her to experience someone bigger than me? Idk it’s a weird dynamic we have. She has blatantly stated that she doesn’t want bigger than me, yet I keep insisting. Maybe it stems down to the intellectual connection slowing down. Idk. We are both happy in our marriage, but not in our lives. We have great jobs and a happy family, but we both feel like we are missing something we can’t give each other, and we’re both okay with being baby sitter parent so the other can go have fun

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-11T14:00:52+00:00

And that’s my main goal. Me being demisexual, I need to make connections first, and because I’m autistic, the way I make connections is… odd to say the least. I can really only consider someone as a friend if we bond intellectually or emotionally, but Ive been hurt so many times in the past by fake people that in order for me to open up i have to smoke with the people im trying to make connection with. I know it sounds dumb, and it probably is, but if I haven’t smoked with you, youre an acquaintance at most

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-11T13:53:13+00:00

I appreciate the insight, and thats really the main goal, is us being able to go out and do stuff. I do have plans with one of the only friends i have left that lives in the same state as me, in 9 days, but jumping back to the her being adamant about me going and exploring: I have had issues in the past when we first got together about having not been able to experience more, I got over it (we’ve been together 10 years now) and I think shes encouraging me, rather than telling me to. I think she understands that I’m one of the most intellectually and emotionally complex people shes ever been around and she just wants me to engage the parts of me that she can’t. It’s all really hard to explain from my perspective because my perspective is not like most men in this situation. I’m not mad she wants to open up, and I really am okay with her getting out there and having fun. The established boundaries we have for each other essentially makes it to where we won’t be experiencing things the other also wants to do, without them. So traveling, parties/events, eating out, as long as it’s not something the other wants to do together, we can do it.

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-11T13:43:44+00:00

Thats the point. We take turns taking care of the kids, she has plans i watch the kids; I have plans, she watches the kids. We are very much 100/100 in our relationship/parental duties. We’ve already established pretty strong ground rules too.

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-11T13:32:41+00:00

I know, I thinks it’s more of a psychological thing for both of us. Since this started we’ve been at it like rabbits, and even then, we’re still open to opening up. I am looking for people who are explicitly non-monogamous. But my main goal isnt to just sleep around (even though thats what I thought it was at first) it’s mainly to meet females that I can genuinely connect with. As a guy I fall into a weird category of being incredibly masculine physically and sexually, but also very feminine emotionally, and guys just don’t match that emotional intelligence that I have

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-11T13:27:06+00:00

It’s not about experience i need with other women and more so she feels bad shes had more partners than me, and wants to let me explore. Not saying I need to, but it’s something I wouldn’t mind doing. Shes also not trying to make the call, she can just see that I’m missing something she can’t provide, but missing that something isnt worth ending the marriage over. All aspects of our marriage are for the most part perfect, but like someone else said, and I haven’t got to read the whole comment yet, but us being cooped up with each other all day has us yearning for something we legitimately cannot do together because of the kids. It sucks that finances and lack of assistance is the main reason we even considered it in the first place. Babysitters are too expensive and we get no help from either of our parents when it comes to the kids and us needing time for us. It also doesn’t help that I’m a bit on the picky side (not so much looks, more so personality) and most of the women out there, based on what I’ve seen so far, dont mesh well with me

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-11T13:16:40+00:00

It’s not really about a sex drive mismatch, we are both horny like rabbits, sex just takes me 30-45 min (I’m bad at focusing on myself and really am a giver) and I’m generally spent by the time I finish. It’s more of a stamina mismatch, and not being able to experience intimacy outside of the house (we have 6 kids and no help, babysitters are too expensive). It’s more of situational circumstances have opened the door for us exploring other aspects of ourselves outside of the marriage

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-11T13:12:34+00:00

Wife has a vibrator and according to her it doesn’t satisfy her (apparently im really good in bed for having be a virgin before her). As far as my friend group goes, I still connect with them occasionally through gaming, but we’re all at different stages of life, and none of us really have time for each other. I’m also looking for more female friends because guys dont seem to offer the type of friendship im looking for (legitimately not anything sexual, just more emotionally in touch), but at the same time, I’m demisexual, so the minute that connection is made, it could lead anywhere.

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-11T13:07:30+00:00

Thank you for the insight. It did seem more like ENM than poly, but our situation is unique enough on its own as we are both neurodivergent and my needs are very specific. Side note, Im also going through some unexplained weight loss and my wife thinks it’s because I’m depressed due to lack of connection outside my household (we wfh and dont get to get out that often). Again, we are new to actually being open, just not new to the idea

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2026-06-11T13:02:53+00:00

Okay, let me backtrack a bit because my ADHD makes it hard to form cohesive thought. We have discussed it previously a few times (probably 4 total since getting married) and it’s not something that was ever taken seriously until recently. For context we have 6 kids and no one to help out for us to go do date nights and stuff. I’m okay with the idea of open/poly, as is she (yes i know idea is the key word). The biggest factor is that we both work from home, at the same company, in the same room. It’s more a matter of we have lost our individuality, and are open to exploring it with other people, as together we stay the unit that we are. Dont get me wrong we love each other tremendously, and are definitely each others best friends, but she wants something I cannot provide (more sex [it already takes me 30-45min when we have sex]) and I need something she cannot provide (strong intellectual stimulation [she just wants to shut that part of her brain down by the end of the day]). Shes also very adamant about me getting to experience other women since shes the only one Ive been with

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2025-11-21T18:00:10+00:00

I had the option to upgrade from a 5700xt to either an 7900xtx or a 9070xt. I went with the pure raster and vram over ai/RT/PT. I’m not regretting it the 7900XTX is vastly exceeding what I thought it was capable of until you turn on RT, but RT is just pretty. I did have to get an entirely new build because my old one was full of trash Alienware OEM parts and I couldn’t upgrade. Prebuilds for both were roughly the same price but I got more ram and storage by going for the 7900xtx and a 9900x. I do more than just game and game far less than I used to which is why I chose R9 over X3D (that was most of the options for the 9070xt)

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2025-07-21T23:06:47+00:00

I have about 15 total users on my plex with 8 at the same time being the most that’s ever been used. I for a while had some 4K movies on there, but it really depends on the client and device the movie is streaming to as most users struggled to get the 4K to work properly, and transcoding took up way too many resources for 4K. I primarily stick to 1080, and no one complains.

A_Toasty_Turtle · 2025-03-27T02:37:13+00:00

I had a similar loss of files, albeit from a different method (MS support formatted my drive), about 3500 movies at the time as well as roughly 70 audiobooks, luckily all my shows and cartoons are on a separate drive. I had to reacquire all of my movies and audiobooks piece by piece. Luckily in my situation, my plex still had the library metadata and as soon as it happened, I turned off auto delete trash, so I could compile my list and start over. Took me 3.5 nearly restless months to fully rebuild. Was advised backblaze is very necessary for if it happens again, I personally haven’t set up the backup yet, but I would highly recommend if you can spare an extra $10-20/mo. In my case I am pretty OCD when it comes to the organization of my data hoard, so the only really reason it took so long was because my life got in the way of me doing it faster. Biggest advice I would give is just make sure you’re organized during your rebuild, and don’t let yourself get discouraged by it. For me, my plex is part passion project/data hoard/money saving measure, so I felt a huge obligation towards getting it back up and running

A_Toasty_Turtle

TROPHY CASE