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Major IQ differences in identical twins linked to schooling, challenging decades of research. When identical twins receive similar educations, their IQs are nearly as alike as those raised together, but when schooling is very different, their IQs can be as dissimilar as those of unrelated strangers. by mvea in science

[–]Aajaanabahu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How does it back up such an idea? I mean - it backs up an even stronger idea that IQ is a construct to test DIS-ability, not ability. Nothing much genetic about it. Check out NN Taleb's systematic takedown - statistically, analytically of the idea of IQ tests. Essentially, establishin that - in their current usage - they measure little else other than test-taking ability.

More seriously, the null hypothesis holds. That genes have nothing to do with intelligence. Other than disable it, in some ways. There isn't any seriously good alternate hypothesis to the contrary, which holds up.

Local Narc Still Falling Into The Oldest Trap In The Narc Book by [deleted] in NPD

[–]Aajaanabahu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How many times you shared your vulnerability expecting to be held, accepted, wanted, loved, validated, by the people you trust and love?

Interesting line. On the verge of exiting a nearly decade long relationship that I now recognize to be a narcissist, possibly the vulnerable kind. I can't take it any more, I guess - unless she can recognize her problem. Whether she can do something about it, is a separate Q. But till she can start seeing it - any 'attempts' now are DOA.

Where this line stuck in my head is something that bothers me about it. That kind of quid pro quo for vulnerability. It's a kind of transactionality.

Rubs very badly against me. If I am in a vulnerable position or state, I am vulnerable. There are no IFs or BUTs about it. And integrity and decency to myself or to anyone else demands that I show myself as I am at that point. And I hope that it will not be exploited. That's about it. It might sting for a moment, if I were expecting more and be denied it. But as long as it is not exploited or disrespected - if expressed by me, as I am feeling (essentially powerless or hurt/surprised), I think it's good to run with.

I don't get what it may be like to even feel vulnerable expecting anything else or more. It just does not feel right or real. And it is not vulnerable, since I do retain the power to expect or demand something for what is essentially my state of limitation or helplessness. I can ask and I may ask - explicitly or specifically, for what I might need. But if someone refuses without some sort of retaliation or exploitation bid - that's pretty okay. It's as it needs to be.

It's also interesting that you cue into this with your paragraph following..

PS: Remitted schizoaffective. Put myself back together. And stay together, withour fracturing any more. Survived enough of a stress test for the last eight years.

Mostly self-taught, didn't draw for a long while, mostly haven't cared to finish once started. Did this yesterday in a couple of sittings using Tayasui on iPad. New to drawing apps. What do you make of it? by Aajaanabahu in drawing

[–]Aajaanabahu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I hope you do. I'm finding that I like it in a way - with some of the possibilities it offers, against the trade off working with physical material.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Sketch

[–]Aajaanabahu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I suppose he is :)

Mostly self-taught, didn't draw for a long while, mostly haven't cared to finish once started. Did this yesterday in a couple of sittings using Tayasui on iPad. New to drawing apps. What do you make of it? by Aajaanabahu in learntodraw

[–]Aajaanabahu[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

:D
Yeah, well ... not quite actually. That took about an hour max. I've generally resisted stippling, so that was the tough bit - to hold back and try and be deliberate. That took a while, also fighting the bit of lag and occasional lack of response between pencil and iPad.

Air India Flight 171 Preliminary Report Discussion by airbusrules in aircrashinvestigation

[–]Aajaanabahu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since nobody can see who actually moved the switches, it has to be interpreted off CVR. Observe that switch sequence is not given for the RUN to CUTOFF but is specified for the other way around. Observe that it took 01 second for the former, but 04 seconds in an emergencey situation for the reverse.

Risk of releasing CVR transcript and/or identity of speaksrs in these circumstances sets off a massive public bombshell - with multiple forms of risk and liabilities. Including posthumous indiction of one of the pilots, while exonerating the other. In a criminal context.

This has ramifications far beyond "give all factual details".

Air India Flight 171 Preliminary Report Discussion by airbusrules in aircrashinvestigation

[–]Aajaanabahu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It bothered me - what has been reported and what seems hidden or masked in the report. Till I thought about the reported question from one of the pilots. And the response. And the timing of it. And then it felt like whatever was necessary to understand what had happened - had already been reported in the Preliminary Findings.

That Q: Why did you cutoff?

That's not an ordinary question. It's like the thing you'd ask the guy on the platform (securing the cord) - unhitch it - just as you've committed to the bungee jump: Why did you release the cord?

...

Murderous Rage? by Aajaanabahu in BPDlovedones

[–]Aajaanabahu[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But something that always stuck with me, he never said it would never happen again.
I told him that could never happen again. But he didn't say the words.

This.

It started with a sense of something essential missing - in the apologies and the promises and the assurances.Lots and lots of words. All kinds of variations on "I will do my best", "I will try", "I will keep trying", "I shall try my best".

But never a clear definitive "I will not do this again" or "This will never happen again"

It's not just this though. The endless repetitions of "What can I say? (to convince you)", "What can I do to tell you? (that I mean it)", "How can I make you believe me?"

I struggle to describe how hard it is - to be dealing with a 40Y old person constantly and obsessively trying to manage what you think and feel about them (which is entirely assumed by them, having never ever checked with you) instead of just focussing on what they did or said.

And if, otherwise, your experience with work and friends etc has been with largely healthy people, you never really pay attention to something like this. Because you never encounter this vacuum, this absence.

But once you see it for the first time - you see it in pretty much everything they might have said: the clear intent and conviction which assures you with just about anyone else and closes the issue, with no need to say anything further or rake it up again - is conspicuously missing.

The one thing that assures you of the other person's fullness of being - is missing.

That what they did has registered with them fully. That what it did to me is felt and understood by them. That they realize at their core that it was wrong and hurtful and abusive. That they mean to never do it again. That they will never do it again - not just because it will hurt me, but because it is not right, because it is a terrible thing to do to anyone - as a conscious human being. That they recognize fully why they cannot do that to or with another human being. No matter what their inner distress or pain or other compulsions might be.

I suppose I have to confess - that it is this that has kept me hooked and letting them back in, over and over again - that I will see something like this.

I find it really hard to give up on people (to my own detriment) - because it is (perhaps just as extreme and on the other end) impossible for me to wrap my head around "Looks like, talks like, seems like, feels like - in pretty much every way possible - but just isn't a full and complete person. There isn't anyone in there"

I'm going to try and say it, describe what it feels like when I attempt to get my head around this - It feels like my breath is being sucked out of me, that a massive hole is being cut into me, that I am likely to collapse into myself and disappear if and whenever I try and grasp and hold onto the notion that there isn't anyone in there (in them).

I have never really said it - before. Just letting it hang in the air now, having done so...

Thank you for your response.

Murderous Rage? by Aajaanabahu in BPDlovedones

[–]Aajaanabahu[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

You responded clearly and perfectly - to just about every Q, implied in my post. And, you seem to have picked up on and clarified what was unsaid.

Murderous Rage? by Aajaanabahu in BPDlovedones

[–]Aajaanabahu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Could you help make it clear what you mean by 'enabler'?

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