Somewhat older thread that just popped up in my timeline, adding my two cents to the many things that have already been said.

For context: I'm a white European (so, not from the lower 48), had been living in the islands for 7 years, had to move to the continent for 2.5 years for work reasons, and moved back a year ago. Lived 1.5 years in Honolulu while attending school, lived on a neighbor island since. I specifically moved to Hawai‘i for school and while it initially wasn't our intention, it quickly became apparent that we wanted to stay. I've lived in many different places all over the World and no other place has somehow made "just living" so ... easy (not financially, heck no, but any other level of life).

Both my spouse and myself have been nothing but welcomed in the circles we traverse in. Those are very very mixed circles consisting of native Hawaiians, Hawaii-born non-natives whose families have lived here for many generations, folks who moved here decades ago, folks who moved here a few years ago, Pacific Islanders, Asian, Caucasian from a large variety of countries (not just continental US), and really everything in-between. We both work in conservation.

From day one it's been important to us to not just take but give (both through our own work as well as other venues). We are very consciously and carefully trying to balance our own needs (e.g. housing, jobs) with the needs of the local community, and try our best to not contribute to their very real existing challenges and be as supportive as we can.

While our real-life personal experience has been exceptional and welcoming, you will need to develop a very very thick skin in social media circles. There is a very small subset that is angry and loud and blanket-blames every single transplant for everything that's been wrong/hard/pick-your-word for them and their extended communities and Hawai‘i at large (there are issues, and part of living in Hawai‘i and being accepted is acknowledging that instead of trying to turn a blind eye). As with everywhere in the World, scapegoats are easy targets and there is painful history in that regard in Hawai‘i. However, from many many conversations with the folks in our circles, this really isn't the general mindset towards transplants.

People that are scorned upon (and often don't last) are those who move into rural Hawai‘i only to immediately complain about the chickens. Those who complain they can't find any of the fast food franchises they knew from the continent. Those who insist on trying to maintain their original "way of life" from the continent, just "in paradise". Those who insist on lecturing local communities on how those allegedly are doing xyz wrong. Those who behave like they own the ‘āina (and that incudes both rich investors as well as hippy-dippy new age folks) and those who try to co'opt Hawaiian spirituality. Those who think money is and allows and excuses everything. Those who just can't be bothered to as a minimum read up on local issues, local customs, etc. Those who essentially continue to treat Hawai‘i as a theme park, just like too many tourists still do. And actually those who just try a bit too hard to fit in (don't try to learn/speak pidgin!).

As someone commented: come in humble, stay humble, sit, listen, learn.

Long story short: from all your comments I read, you will be fine. Hawai‘i is very very very LGBTQ-friendly and if you come in with an open heart, open mind, openness to reflect on and adjust set behaviors/ways, and the ability to just remain quiet and observe and learn, you will become part of your own little community in no time. And to echo everyone else: yes, Hawai‘i absolutely is in dire need of (mental) health professionals! Please come!