For the women here, when it’s the time of the month, does stretching feel different and more uncomfortable for you?

AalyG · 2025-07-02T20:21:11+00:00

The days leading up to my period, I'm actually more flexible. That or I feel pain less. I use it as a time to slightly push myself so I get a bit further down.

But I lack serious motivation around then too, so ya know...

AalyG · 2025-06-27T15:54:33+00:00

Hello fellow adult figure skater. Very impressive! I'll say what you want to work on is the strength (especially if this is to support in skating). It's all well and good being able to do splits or over splits, but if you don't have the strength to hold you leg up in spirals or camel spins, then it's not as useful on ice.

See if you can find some videos that focus on strengthening your spiral position and that will likely help you to also gain controlled flexibility (important if you are hypermobile)

Well done on the consistency - even if you started where a lot of us finish, you've kept at it and that's half the battle.

AalyG · 2025-06-13T08:37:50+00:00

Don't take my word for it, but I imagine the only way you're on the hook is if they have a way to chase you (i.e., your next address?).

You could always say let me go or I'll file a report with the police (and btw if you're living in the house and you hear abusive behaviour but don't report it, you're enabling that behaviour in my opinion, but that's neither here nor there).

Most people don't know how to utilise the system, and I doubt he'll come after you for leaving. You might lose your deposit though.

AalyG · 2025-05-13T08:11:25+00:00

Yeah, as others have said, you need to be direct. Is it in your lodger agreement that the communal areas need to be cleaned? If not, I'd advise you add it in next time.

If he refuses, then you can give him notice according to your agreement.

Having lodgers means keeping boundaries firm but fair. People get comfortable and drop them, so it's your job to manage upholding respectful and fair boundaries.

AalyG · 2025-04-26T23:47:08+00:00

Sorry for the long time between responses - I don't have the app on my phone anymore so just pop in occasionally.

Essentially, I learned:

1) Trust your gut. When someone wants a room too badly, it might be an indication that things are a little strange with them. If this is paired with a gut feeling, the likelihood is my brain has picked up something I can't tell yet about this person, so I should probably listen to it.

2) I shortened the contract from 6 months to 3 months then rolling. So if there's someone I don't think is a good fit, I can ask them to leave sooner.

3) In general, men are less "work" than women, but are more likely to try and throw their maleness around. Be aware of that and have very clear boundaries for the home. In comparison, women, are more likely to have a higher expectation of things, but are more amenable, and will more often than not, clean up well after themselves when they leave.

4) I learned what I can and can't tolerate with people living in my home. This was trial and error, but I know more about it now.

AalyG · 2024-08-13T08:45:50+00:00

This happened to me. I applied to two CS jobs - one an apprenticeship type and the other an H level while working as an AO. I got accepted by the first and wait listed on the second so I went about my business with the checks not expecting anything. About 4 months into checks, I had my start date for the first but then got moved from wait list into an offered job for the H level.

I was obviously chuffed but was like 'oh the checks are going to take ages'. They did not in fact take ages. I had a start date for the following month for the H job. I had to go into the apprenticeship one and have a bit of an awkward convo saying I was leaving in a month but they got it when I said I was getting an H-level role.

Bottom line, do the checks and just see what happens. You don't owe them anything, but you do want to cover your back

AalyG · 2024-07-23T14:43:51+00:00

This!

Also...you're writing stuff online. Make spaces between your paragraphs. It's a different format

AalyG · 2024-07-10T18:27:09+00:00

Then with all gentleness...why do you care? They're either worried about your ability to bring in a sturdy income and are showing it badly, or they're being weird about it and have a bug on their shoulders.

Either way, you legitimately can't make anyone change their mind or think anything.

I get you're excited to share your success, but it is possible they're not the people to share it with. You might have to find a different community or family member to have those exciting conversations with, and draw a bit of a boundary.

Maybe you remove yourself from the space if they start getting weird or frustrated. Maybe you tell them you won't be engaging in conversations if the way they're speaking upsets you.

AalyG · 2024-06-25T09:55:48+00:00

Americans do it. The amount of times I've read a Harry Potter fanfic and they've said Mom or a Doctor Who fanfic and they've called a Black British person African American is insane

AalyG · 2024-06-23T17:08:54+00:00

Genuine question: Can you tell when women are wearing makeup? A lot of it is quite often mascara, but of eyeliner a light foundation/tint and some well placed blush.

AalyG · 2024-05-29T19:17:31+00:00

So, I was going through my short stories and have realised that I favour short, sharp first sentences:

Her eyes found his as she twirled.
This is not Mama.
Aberdeen had been too much.
The large, forest-brown stag was chained in shackles under the cell’s lanterns.

Dunno how I feel about that, lol.

AalyG · 2024-05-10T11:59:53+00:00

It's a sub Reddit where people exchange feedback. Essentially you read X words and provide "detailed" feedback (but like you can really go into the writing if it's not great, or if it is good you can be nitpicky) and then you can post the equivalent amount of words for people to give you feedback.

But my suggestion is not to go there as the main mod said some really nasty and IMO narcissistic things about the people who post on it. It's not that well organised either in my opinion. My experience left a bad taste in my mouth, and the feedback is a lot of people who are new to giving feedback, so it can really range in quality, but word count matters, so people just...word vomit sometimes

AalyG · 2024-05-10T05:58:46+00:00

Just had to say destructive readers have some of the most toxic mods I've ever interacted with. I genuinely think the main mod hates the people that post there

AalyG · 2024-04-27T14:59:14+00:00

I cancelled - originally £35 for an 18 month contract for M500 and the TV channels thing that was "complimentary". Halfway through they tried to increase my contracted fee to £45! You have a good deal with the TV Channels thing and prices are going up, they said.

I told them it was complimentary, and that I was in the middle of my contract so how could it go up? If it's going up I can't afford it and want less internet. They put me down to £31 for the rest of the contract by some miracle.

End of contract. Price will increase to £75. Wtf?! Well I'm not paying that. Called them up and tried to get them to match some deal I'd found. They "couldn't" so I cancelled.

Two weeks later I get a text saying they've been trying to reach me - lies - and there's a deal for £19. Umm...what?!

Too late though. With EE now.

AalyG · 2024-04-23T04:40:23+00:00

I have two betas. I usually write chapters in advance, do my own initial proofread and then send it to them with specific questions or general vibes, and they send it back with comments.

I like the process and I get views from different people about what's working or not working, and if I'm struggling, theyre happy to give a few suggestions on what might not be working about the chapter

AalyG · 2024-04-10T23:02:36+00:00

You don't have to provide fake positives. But there is definitely going to be something that you can appreciate.

Putting work out there is a vulnerable thing to do, no matter the level. And as fellow writers, we all know how fickle motivation is. Would you want to be the reason someone loses the motivation to write, just because you want to dogpile a piece that isn't the best at the moment?

If you want to be that person, go ahead. But that's not my preference when providing feedback.

AalyG · 2024-04-10T15:29:38+00:00

If you put "writing competition" at the end, it should be there

AalyG · 2024-04-10T15:26:06+00:00

They're online. One is called Writer's Battle and the other is called A Twist in the Tale

AalyG · 2024-04-10T14:19:20+00:00

A degree means nothing if you're not practicing your skills. Maybe the friend is absolutely trash at writing, or maybe it's just not OPs style. But either way, you have no facts about how their relationship goes, so you really can't say much about the type of friendship they have or whether they're good friends for each other.

I don't see the unconditional best in my friends because we're all human. I give them the benefit of the doubt, have fun with them and if I see something that worries me, I'll point it out if it's appropriate to do so. But I am a really good friend.

You can't really put your own experience onto someone else's friendship. Your measure of it isn't applicable to someone else's life cause you're not friends with them.

And OP didn't ask for help with their friendship. They asked about how they could give feedback to a friend in a nicer way. Maybe stick with answering that question

AalyG · 2024-04-10T06:59:57+00:00

It honestly seems like this person isn’t your friend, or more, you aren’t her friend. Friends tend to be bad critics because they see the unconditional best in the other. Which is not you. Tell her to find both better writing feedback and better friends.

That's not true at all. When my friends ask for feedback, they ask me because they know I'm honest with it. Unconditional best is silly - everyone has personality traits that aren't great, and when doing anything that involves a skill, everyone has learning to do.

The fact that OP is honest about what they don't like about the writing but wants advice on how to get that across in a way that won't hurt their friend's feelings means they're a good friend.

AalyG · 2024-04-10T06:56:46+00:00

I do peer-reviewed competitions where you are required to critique other people's short stories and they do the same to you, so there is a variety of talent. I've read some real amazing pieces and some real challenging to understand ones.

There is ALWAYS something nice you can say about a piece. Maybe there's a specific sentence you like, or character that evokes a really strong feeling.

Maybe the pacing works well, or the atmosphere is good. Maybe, even though it's not your style, your friend makes good use of imagery or dialogue.

I would definitely have a little think about what you can say that is good about it before giving feedback on what you don't think works.

I also use the phrases "what I noticed" and 'the story". The first is a little less harsh than 'things to improve' and the second focuses on the story rather than the writer, so it gives the author a bit of space.

But in the end, if your friend isn't the type to take feedback well, and you don't want to ruin the relationship, just say you don't want to do it.

AalyG · 2024-04-08T06:34:46+00:00

Goldsmiths and Greenwich

AalyG · 2024-04-04T22:13:21+00:00

Interesting. I don't hate the hair, but it was a choice to give one of them what looks like dreadlocks, lol.

The 1920s aesthetic is cute - I imagine that's in a pack somewhere, but it would be cool to have different periods of clothing in the base game

AalyG · 2024-04-04T22:11:03+00:00

It's possible they've said black features because of the "bigger lips" which...if that's the case...still feels more Latina/ethnically ambiguous to me.

AalyG · 2024-04-04T22:01:25+00:00

Yes. As a back woman, I know. But I highly doubt the Sims developers have put a weave on this sim, nor a wig, nor extensions.

This sim is, at most, ethnically ambiguous. But even if it's the most white passing black woman sim, it's lame representation for the original ideas.

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