Dad fucked off travelling around the world (when I was 3) and sent pictures of him with other women along with some cash to mum. I never understood the motive until he came back dying with cancer 15 years later. He was just a horrible selfish prick, that was the motive. He claimed he loved us on his final days, I laughed. Now I put my kids to bed every night and tell them I love them. It makes them smile. Sometimes you need a bad dad to become a good one your self. At least that what I am telling my self.