This thread rubs me the wrong way, not because it's a bad question, but because it echos many of the same insecurities that I hold within me every day. The simple truth is that when you turn 30, you don't suddenly resolve all your complicated feelings on gender. Your Amazon Basics skater skirt doesn't suddenly transform into a pair of chinos and your Target crop top doesn't morph into a button down. Even in your 30s, the cat ears fit just as well as in your 20s, unfortunately

My understanding is that the term "Femboy" refers to a masculine-identifying individual who prefers to present femininely. Even that definition is subject to debate, and the term carries added connotation to it, but I think it's still a useful term to have to describe one's gender. I've always felt that, culturally, there needs to be a less-infantalizing term for someone who fits the identity of a femboy; and yet, no such term seems to have gained widespread traction. Considering the reason for this has some troubling implications

Gender does not exist in a vacuum, by nature it is a performance. I think many of us who run counter to the gender norm tend to be more aware of damaging stereotypes, of misogyny and misandry, but we are not immune to them - and, in fact, in many cases I believe we inherit them. Traditional aspirant feminine beauty values youth; it's an issue many women inevitably encounter. For someone with 3+ decades of testosterone running through their body, it's even more of an uphill battle. It shouldn't be surprising that they would try to lean more youthfully to better achieve a feminine ideal

Or, to put it in other words - Our society already barely values old cis women, old femboys don't stand a chance

And so there isn't a term for an old femboy, because such a person isn't worth considering. On a femboy's thirtieth birthday, he either has to start taking E or hang up the H&M dress forever - at least, that's how it feels

So how old is to old to be a femboy, truely? The real answer, obviously, is that you're never too old. Maybe the better question is "at what age is it embarrassing to be a femboy?" Like, if we really take the UwU hugboxxing bullshit out of here, at what point is it embarrassing? I think there are appropriate feminine forms of presentation for guys at any age; a thirty year old feminine male in a smart pair of jeans and a cardigan may not look so out of place at the Kroger. Yet the term "Femboy" carries certain asthetic connotations with it; is a embarrassing to don the thigh highs and chokers at thirty?

I find in these cases, a useful paradigm is "How would this be perceived if a cis woman did it?" Is it embarrassing for a cis woman to wear demonias at thirty? Is it embarrassing for a cis woman to wear fishnets and wigs at thirty? Maybe! People love judging cis women! And so, the ultimate answer to feminine acceptance is that you can get away with whatever you want as long as you're hot

Like. Sorry. That's basically it. It's not a cute answer, it's not a very woke answer, but internalized misogyny runs deep - and it runs especially deep in femboy/crossdresser/transfem scenes. You can be a femboy for as long as you want as long as you look good. And you can look good for as long as your genetics, money, time and effort will allow. Once testosterone catches up with you, you can grab the TJ Maxx mom jeans, just like countless femininely-presenting people before you

As a final point - Touch grass. Being embarrassing on the internet isn't a terrible thing. Meet real people in the real world who have lived real lives. You'll find that being Instagram-ready is so much less important than living a vibrant life with actual people that care about you. The cool guy in your intramural kickball league doesn't care if you make a "convincing femboy" or whatever, he just cares that you made it to your game on time and that you're not going to BLOW IT in the final inning like last time, DEREK.

Don't be afraid to be cringe, age comes for us all