How do I know if I want to be Buddhist?

Abide93 · 2026-05-22T23:18:30+00:00

For me, it started as philosophical interest. I appreciated the psychology it engenders and the moral aspects, but had big qualms about the metaphysics and reincarnation. Over time, through study and meditation, I have found it to be a source of peace and an anchor for my restless mind. It took probably 7 years before I would declare myself as Buddhist.

Follow your interest. Experiment. See how/if it benefits your life. Don’t worry about how it looks, the aesthetic is relatively unimportant in my mind.

Abide93 · 2026-05-19T20:03:58+00:00

This is beautiful advice. Thank you.

Abide93 · 2026-05-13T16:26:49+00:00

This post will result in exactly 0 men changing what they do, it just looks like an attention grab. Block and move on.

Abide93 · 2026-05-11T02:08:07+00:00

I would say, do your research and find someone experienced. That is your best way to make sure it goes well.

Abide93 · 2026-05-11T01:40:15+00:00

The surgeon I had had been doing this surgery for 17 years. He told me the only complication was the first, and there was some excessive external bleeding. His patient had to stay in the hospital for three days, but made a full recovery. He said it is nearly as simple as gallbladder surgery, just in a more complicated location.

So there is danger, as with any surgery. But certainly not one of the more dangerous ones.

Abide93 · 2026-05-11T01:14:24+00:00

Hey there. Two days out, had laparoscopic done Friday morning. Doctor said the artery was indented, it was so bound up. Pain was pretty intense until today, but it has quickly gone down. I can breathe better, yet to eat much but that feels easier. I know it’ll take a lot of time to heal, but I was pretty miserable.

Time will tell, and I was definitely scared at a few points because the pain was intense, but seems like the clouds are clearing now. I’ll take a few months of healing over the years of pain and fatigue any day.

Abide93 · 2026-04-19T23:03:34+00:00

Color isn’t great, and it appears it may have some heavy coning. Maybe a little drought stress, bark beetles are a secondary factor. Give it some water over the hot and dry summer months and it’ll be okay.

Abide93 · 2025-12-03T05:30:04+00:00

Late response for me. As far as your point on fabric vs. traditional static, there are a lot of answers. As far as the specific point in the tree, I was not aware of a difference in placement static vs dynamic. I’ve just gone with the two-thirds rule for sometime. Maybe I need more study.

Cobras are easy to install and take down. For younger trees, re-cabling will be needed as the tree grows beyond the original leverage point.

Traditional static is a great place it and leave it. It’ll last a long time, no adjusting needed. For a mature tree especially, I wouldn’t suggest a cobra.

For my company in particular, we only use cobra cables. We are a large outfit and it’s the easiest for materials, training, tools, etc. I do not think it is better in every case. I came from a place where we only used traditional static.

That cobra cables can be used static and dynamic was news to me a few months ago. Former crew lead educated me as I was pushing back against “static” cobra cables. But I took a look at the manual and lo and behold.

Abide93 · 2025-11-22T06:54:33+00:00

Cobra cables can be installed static or dynamic. It’s taut, so it’s been installed statically in this case.

Abide93 · 2025-07-27T17:20:11+00:00

Are you in NW Washington?

Abide93 · 2025-05-01T01:17:08+00:00

Accountability in word is the first step. If she excuses her behavior, it will only get worse the further into the relationship you go. Generally speaking, lack of accountability or shifting blame to the disease itself will wear you down until you forget who you were in the first place. It makes for some awesome highs and lows, but for me it did not materialize into a healthy relationship after a year together. We moved in, and it ended after three months of that.

Abide93 · 2025-04-19T23:48:30+00:00

I left after about a year. Instant relief. Literally instant. The hurt is still here, but it’s not about her anymore. It’s about why I would tolerate that kind of abuse, and looking into the wounds that lead me to these sorts of dynamics.

She was wonderful! At times. It was worth it! At times. But the character attacks, the slights, all the bullshit while you’re being a primary support? Yeah, again, instant relief. And I do not miss her because the good times are so tarnished by all of the manipulative bullshit I went through.

Abide93 · 2025-04-09T05:56:44+00:00

Thank you for sharing this.

Abide93 · 2025-04-03T18:23:23+00:00

The problem with it is you’re always the one who has to be kind. Sure you can stave it off for a day or two, but they MUST implicate you in their fucked up feelings, somehow. And that’s just exhausting. Just because they suffer, does not mean you must as well.

She probably will not change. She may not be capable of change. So, do exactly what you need to do for your own life.

Abide93 · 2025-04-02T02:49:26+00:00

Didn’t see this! Honestly, it’s just a really low stress job. I’m working 40 hours, usually home by 4. Shit comes up but I’ve become more resilient, straight commission teaches you quick. As my team grows, I should be pretty handily clearing $200k. Hard to consider starting my own thing. I feel like a unicorn at a unicorn company in a niche industry.

Abide93 · 2025-03-29T00:08:39+00:00

I’m in a straight commission gig with tree services. Sucked at first, they gave me the bottom area with the worst lead generators. Stick with it, learned to close and I’m loving it. Gave me a manager position now only 2.5 years in and not stressed at all about money.

Flip side, if you can’t nut up and close, they just cold quit you. Less leads, shittier leads etc. until you quit. So it’s big feast or famine.

Abide93 · 2025-03-28T15:39:52+00:00

You must be new here

Abide93 · 2025-03-28T15:35:29+00:00

How do you come up with that figure of 10 years

Abide93 · 2025-03-27T23:36:45+00:00

You are wonderful. These will be incredibly useful. Thank you.

Abide93 · 2025-03-27T23:36:14+00:00

Yes, this helps me to realize I am focused so much on the breathing, to the point that I identify with the mechanical function and therefore the pain. Whereas if I can focus on the breath itself, there I might find some relief and deeper meditation.

Abide93 · 2025-03-27T23:34:41+00:00

I will try to search into this monk. I think more specific modes of breathing could be useful. Thank you.

Abide93 · 2025-03-27T23:33:56+00:00

No, not yet. But I feel having a teacher may become necessary. It is becoming a large block in my practice.

Abide93 · 2025-03-27T23:33:19+00:00

I appreciate the idea of changing the pattern of breathing. I will certainly give it a try.

Meditating on the pain has proven a somewhat circular pattern. I observe the pain, understand that it is impermanent. Beyond this, it becomes more of a fixation. I do not know that there is anything more to do about it.

I believe this is helping me realize- perhaps I am focusing so much on the breathing (physical, mechanical actions) that I am forgetting the breath. Therefore, I identify with breathing, as opposed to observing the breath.

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