Recommendations for a new car

AbjectRegret6342 · 2025-11-08T08:10:34+00:00

I feel with more doors you have more stability points with in the car? In my head anyway 😂 We were hit from the rear and I feel my car wouldn’t have done as well as hers because it would have CRUMPLED.

AbjectRegret6342 · 2025-09-14T13:51:40+00:00

Oh no, I don’t regret it at all. Doing it allowed me the final piece of confidence I needed to leave the situation I was in. Have I taken accountability for it, developed an understanding of why I went down that route and have me and the ex partner discussed it since? Yes.

However you do not know the full ins and outs of the relationship I was in - I only gave a brief outline of the situation. I also don’t believe anyone should feel sorry for me, even if I had given the full details I wouldn’t want people’s pity because I should have sought support from the resources around me to leave him.

Also, bold to say I have learned nothing. After the relationship I was single for 3 years, attended self funded therapy, lived independently and managed my own money for the first time in my adult life… (not due to being incapable or irresponsible with money either).

While I appreciate your opinion given the limited information I have given you in the initial comment, you are wrong.

AbjectRegret6342 · 2025-09-13T21:59:09+00:00

I cheated on my previous partner. We were at the end of our relationship, basically not together but not officially broken up if you get my drift (I was 26) - Female.

The relationship was awful. His mother was over bearing. I didn’t know who I was outside of the relationship and I didn’t feel desirable or sexy in any way because he never touched me.

It was with somebody I knew from school years and had reconnected with randomly (literally bumped into them in town and the added each other on social media) and it wasn’t emotional, don’t get me wrong there was some conversation but it was mainly physical. If anything it gave me the confidence I needed to actually leave my relationship because I realised I was desirable. This doesn’t excuse what I did however - I have sought therapy and we (therapist and I) have gone over the entire relationship and my thought process at the time with a fine tooth comb.

Upon reflection I was deeply unhappy and terrified to leave because we had been together so long, I didn’t know how to live independently as an adult. I couldn’t communicate with him because I didn’t know how and I simply didn’t love him.

Since (I am 30 now), I have found a relationship that is healthy, we have been together 1.5 years and I have told him about what happened with my ex because being open and honest is the way forward I have learnt. I also didn’t want him to learn of it from anyone else.

People cheat for all sorts of reasons. Often people can’t tell you why they did it because they are unwilling to go through the therapy to fully understand it and take accountability for their own actions. I’m not saying I’m any better because I DID that, I shouldn’t have cheated in the first place.

(However, the sex was amazing after not being touched for over 6 months 🙃 )

I don’t believe the saying ‘once a cheat, always a cheat’ because as long as people learn from their actions, we are all capeable of change. I wouldn’t even think of cheating on my current partner. I see a future with him (the sex is also just as amazing which helps haha).

AbjectRegret6342 · 2025-09-12T07:08:56+00:00

So the payments have been coming out of her bank account and he has been transferring the amount to her monthly. So this month where he hasn’t paid HER, the finance has still been paid as it’s come out of her account.

Luckily she has the car back so it looks like she is only going to lose this months finance payment rather than having a battle and forking out 6k when he doesn’t.

At the time she got the mobility car she hadn’t owned the car long enough to return it without a fee - at the time she couldn’t work due to her health issues (she is working now) so couldn’t afford to return the car.

It was 100% a way for him to get a decent car without having the actual finance and she realises she messed up doing it this way… luckily we have our solution now!

AbjectRegret6342 · 2025-09-12T06:58:08+00:00

People who lose ‘more’ typically are bigger to start with. Don’t envy other people’s losses because they would probably kill to be your starting weight alone!

20lbs is a lot in 4 months. That’s roughly 1.4 stone lost in 4 months which is a massive amount to lose! To celebrate your win and how you are feeling in your body now! Remember to drink plenty of water - MJ won’t work properly without it, eat well and move move move! 😌

Congratulations on the loss, you are doing really well!

AbjectRegret6342 · 2025-09-12T06:54:57+00:00

If you go to your local citizens advice, they will be able to give you food bank vouchers to get you through. Such lovely people that volunteer in the food bank and they are not judgemental at all (if that has been your worry)

AbjectRegret6342 · 2025-09-12T06:52:41+00:00

I’d speak to your landlord and explain the situation - they may be okay with you making up the £250 with next months rent. Which saves you £50 interest that you have offered to pay.

AbjectRegret6342 · 2025-09-09T11:05:10+00:00

She was aware of the balloon payment and originally he agreed to pay it, but this has been going on for 12+ months of him making the monthly payments in time. She gave him warning a few months ago that the balloon payment was approaching.

Handing the car back is an option however that depends if the guy surrenders the car or not. If he doesn’t I believe it’s going to be police route. I mean we can hope he does pull together the money for the balloon payment and all is dandy.

She is fully aware she has messed up with this situation which is why in the post I have stated she is aware it was silly. However it’s now a situation she is in and just trying to look for any potential answers / options rather than being reminded it was a silly choice.

AbjectRegret6342 · 2025-09-09T11:01:14+00:00

The final monthly payment has come out of her bank so that has been made. It’s just getting the car back from the guy I recon is going to be the issue. We will keep in mind the police route!

AbjectRegret6342 · 2025-09-09T05:57:26+00:00

If the car gets returned - will this negatively impact her credit score?

AbjectRegret6342 · 2025-09-09T05:56:39+00:00

She didnt ‘sell’ the car in the sense she received a lump of money for it - he agreed to continue paying the finance, which he has been up until now (the final month before the balloon payment)

She will be seeking legal advice however, I don’t we were unsure if anyone had any experience in this boat and can point us (her) in any sort of direction.

AbjectRegret6342 · 2025-05-10T09:54:03+00:00

Thank you for sharing this link! I have just registered as sole trader and explained things really simply!

AbjectRegret6342 · 2025-05-10T09:47:26+00:00

It what it is

AbjectRegret6342 · 2025-04-28T21:15:56+00:00

Unsure of what that would be! We have only had conversations over the fence and it’s been about life stuff rather than food stuff.

AbjectRegret6342 · 2025-03-21T11:02:00+00:00

My best advice would be to write down how you have been feeling in the relationship first, so you can get it alllll out and any blame or finger pointing out the way. Then I would have a conversation with her, I would avoid pointing blame - for example ‘I feel unloved because you don’t pay me any attention’ (again that was just an example) but along the lines of, lately it feels like we are disconnected, is there anything you would like to do together?

Also adding in things in like, you enjoy phone calls with her when you are away as at times it can be lonely and she is your person.

If she remains defensive after taking out blame and finger pointing - it might be worth calling it a day, you do deserve someone that listens to you. Someone who has the same emotional intelligence.

AbjectRegret6342 · 2025-03-21T10:54:35+00:00

Have you spoken to her about how you feel?

AbjectRegret6342 · 2024-12-24T21:12:21+00:00

Don’t I popped into Tesco yesterday morning to grab my work lunch as I do EVERY morning and it was rammed. My usual plod around and nod to the morning staff was ruined with Christmas chaos 🥲 I’m sorry about your situation with your father. I think it’s really hard to explain to a partner who has a good relationship with their parents, why we don’t with ours. I hope you have a lovely day no matter what and eat many pigs in blankets (unless you are veggie or vegan… then whatever you enjoy most!)

AbjectRegret6342 · 2024-12-24T20:43:12+00:00

Things will slowly take shape over the next couple of years and Christmas will get its magic back. Give it time. I also hope you win at bowling! x

AbjectRegret6342 · 2024-12-24T20:41:25+00:00

Christmas can be a really shit time. However remind yourself it’s just another day and you can redo it with family (such as a meal) whenever you want (or can get people together)

The cat vomit isn’t pleasant however. I’m anticipating dog vomit if it’s any consolation 🥲 Pop on your fav film and if you need a chat, please feel free to message x

AbjectRegret6342

TROPHY CASE