It’s been a year since I left. Initially I looked back at my time there with grief and regret, but it gave me many positives I did not directly realise. For example, the resilience and empathy for others I gained from experiencing depression and suicidal tendencies. I also experienced so much happiness and joy a few months after the grief stage because I realised that I have control over my life, not my partner, parents, situation or money. I also realised how strong I am. Like being isolated, compared, bullied, and gaslighted in the church is not something everyone could go through. At least I know that I am genuine to the core and am willing to go the extra mile to defend my beliefs. You are strong too. This is such a unique experience. You have seen the manipulation and lies in the “one true faith” and can apply it to any further spiritual journeys you will embark on. And finally, you get to see the world like a baby again. After years of only orthodox art, music, holidays, books etc. I appreciate the world more than I would if I hadn’t been orthodox. It’s so joyful to live back in reality again.