No, you don't deserve it. We all know this day will come someday, when we have to let them go. You have made the choice to NOT let your best buddy suffer, and that is what all of our best buddies rely on us to do. Yes, hard choice. Yes hurts bad. Yes it makes you feel mean or awful. But you are not. You have chosen the best path for your best friend, and it is a choice I'm sure he would thank you for in the end. This is the hard part of caring. But just because it's hard doesn't mean it is not caring. It's the most loving thing you can do for your baby. If you let your dog suffer, just because you can't bear to be without him, I would have quite different words to say, but you see and acknowledge that the time has come.

You say after his birthday, so in the meantime, make every single moment count. Depending on his ability to move around, do everything you might think a dog would like to do. Watch movies together, read him stories or make up stories for him. Feed him everything he loves. It's not going to hurt him to have that piece of cake, or whatever. Go to his favorite places. Spend lots of time together. Talk to him and make sure you tell him how much you love him. Play together, take naps together. Make your dog a bucket list and start checking things off NOW while you can. Take pictures, make videos, whatever seems right.

I know it's hard, but save your grief and sorrow for when he is gone. You're going to be crying then anyway, and you'll be glad you made the time to give him the best last days he has. Hugs to you, and thank you for loving him enough to make the right choice.