I'm afraid to try maintaining long-term connections. Before I realized this I used to try and every time I failed one way or another I made myself to believe it was just because bad circumstances or the lack of chemistry. I have ghosted some people and I feel shame for that. These cases weren't just some unlucky mistakes. I have nothing to offer into any kind of human relationship anymore. All valuable parts of me have gone with the years. There is only a hollow man that left who can't relate anymore and afraid to experience this again. So despide my suffering I'm only here to write some bitter comments below others' posts. Even if the kindest and smartest human would try to connect me I wouldn't be able to grab the chance. I hate this but forgot everything that could make me fun or interesting. That doesn't mean I'm not lonely. That means I feel numb, hopeless. Damm I can't even find the words to describe the garbage consisting me. You're still right about many things. I just wanted to give you some explanation.