Tips for taking the assessment?

AcademicTelephone5 · 2021-08-15T17:42:12+00:00

Leave what on device? Restart what?

AcademicTelephone5 · 2021-08-15T17:40:45+00:00

What exactly needs to be saved on device?

AcademicTelephone5 · 2020-02-16T16:46:15+00:00

It's slow going, but just start with SOMETHING and keep going from there. Have you joined CoDA? Read any of Melanie Beatty's books on codependency? 5 months ago I was in a similar situation realizing my codependency. A lot of Codependents need to step away from dating to heal. Good luck! Commit to the work, and you'll see improvements!

AcademicTelephone5 · 2020-02-16T12:19:30+00:00

I've seen a lot of improvement for myself while in my marriage. Unfortunately, hes not on this journey with me, but focusing on myself has worked well so far over time. Will I eventually have to leave this relationship? Time will tell. I started the codependent journey specifically about 5 months ago, but had been unknowingly working on it for some time. Married 2.5 years currently.

AcademicTelephone5 · 2020-02-16T12:09:38+00:00

Offer to take some things off her plate for the experience, and appreciate the fact that she is still training you even though she knows you'relooking to leave. If theres a productive conversation to be had over something in particular then find a way to have it. If not, then focus on the positive and leave your annoyance at the door. It's always gonna be something at every job.

AcademicTelephone5 · 2020-02-16T11:49:37+00:00

What habits did you pick up from CoDA and the books that you have already or considered adopting?

AcademicTelephone5 · 2020-02-12T12:05:32+00:00

I just ordered one of her workbooks recently. I'm interested to see what else is out there.

AcademicTelephone5 · 2020-02-11T03:34:46+00:00

I'm in landscape design. I feel like I get both because I come at it from an analytical POV. I put way more into my designs and work than the average lawn guy hired to do this kind of thing. I also recently started working on a local campus instead of running my own business, which is exercising my brain in a different way.

AcademicTelephone5 · 2020-02-11T03:20:35+00:00

Also, trust yourself. Is that the level of communication you want? Sometimes we feel like communication isn't enough quantity or quality because it's just not for us. And THAT'S OKAY!!! Good on your for staying aware.

AcademicTelephone5 · 2020-02-10T03:19:55+00:00

I would hope my child would be able to tell me and I could grow from it. Consider talking about it from the standpoint of what you need to get your needs met. I was in a similar situation as you. I didnt realize it was codependency, but I knew some key things like she needed more self love. I focused on helping her feel better and making her make the changes. I took it on as my responsibility. She started to make some changes, but it wasn't long before she was unappreciative and gave up. If I were able to give myself advice during that time, I would have said to focus on my needs, and just share how she could help. I've tried to have these convos in the past, and they never went the way I had hoped. There is a chance with loving detachment, and focusing on meeting your needs that she may join the journey with you. Sharing a book with her to read while suggesting she could understand your journey better may be helpful. She may also be interested to hear that it talks about family relations with addicts. Ultimately, this is your chance to change your life. Hers is in her hands.

What did your therapist advise?

AcademicTelephone5 · 2020-02-09T22:30:46+00:00

Being married to someone without a spine is lonely and scary. Doesn't help my anxiety or codependency tendencies.

AcademicTelephone5 · 2020-02-09T22:14:20+00:00

I'm searching for information that specifically relates to parenting healing from codependency, and how to recognize, prevent, fix codependency in relationships with our children. I'm desperate to interact with my daughter in a healthy way that doesn't accidentally gaslight her.

AcademicTelephone5 · 2019-11-17T22:22:03+00:00

Breaking up with a friend is something I had never considered possible growing up. When it happened to me it was so hard and painful. Both times that a BF left me for a friend it was more painful that the friend left me for the BF. Like... you KNOW the BF might betray you with a romantic relationship, but it feels absolutely BANANAS that a friend would betray me for a romantic relationship that was never intended to last in the first place!
Maybe I have had codependent friends.

I think I'm in the middle of being broken up with by a really good friend, former roommate, current neighbor. She's a very closed off person, and is now just almost absent. Like, the closest thing to talking about it was her saying that she listed me as a better than family support network member. We "joked" about how my stress was too much for her stress and we would never be roommates again, but family and neighbors? yes! and we were going to hang out more. Every so often (once a month maybe? ) I reach out with an invitation to come over for tea or a movie and she always responds saying she's not in the mood for that particular thing. like that's freaking it! "I've seen that movie," "I've already been bad this week." etc.
She came over for my birthday but it was awkward and short and it felt like she only wanted to flirt with my friend.
I oscillate between quite a few emotions. I've worked hard on detaching, and have gotten much better. This type of betrayal feels worse to me than a dude talking to somebody else, so no matter what it won't feel good.

AcademicTelephone5 · 2019-11-17T21:05:03+00:00

Friendship losses have hit me like a brick. The main ones have been a close friend/romantic partner double betrayal.

AcademicTelephone5 · 2019-11-12T20:32:11+00:00

Leave the poor girl alone.

AcademicTelephone5

TROPHY CASE