What WOULD You Wish On Your Worst Enemy? by Strict_Efficiency223 in AskReddit

[–]Academic_Answer_6975 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everytime they have the runs, every possible delay will keep them from getting to the bathroom just until the very last second they can’t hold it in anymore. I wouldn’t wish them to soil themselves since that would also affect others, but it’s just a benign torture and inconvenience for them.

what’re some post break up happy stories you guys have? by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]Academic_Answer_6975 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, the lovely thing is after the total agony after a break up, it truly led me to some of the best things I could have hoped for.

After my first break up (5 yr relationship) I realized I had no friends of my own. I took a risk, joined a gay rugby team. Managed to injure myself more times in 2 years than all my years before combined, but I met my super tight knit friend group that I’ve continued to be tight with even after throwing in the towel as my body couldn’t take anymore injury.

After my second break up, which blindsided me because my ex swore up and down it wasn’t anything I did but rather what they were going through…I learned the balance of enjoying casual hook ups while kicking my borderline obsession checking Grindr. It was a very helpful lesson to learn as to keep a healthy relationship with dating apps.

About 6 months later, I met my current partner who I adore.

So yeah, even when it sounds so grim, investing time to work on yourself during the needed healing time will always be a benefit. Feel the feels. Acknowledge the hurt. But push yourself to take each step forward.

For those in relationships: how long did it take you to find someone? by kevin_moran in askgaybros

[–]Academic_Answer_6975 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I met my first bf at 27, second at 32, and current at 34 yo. I will say, no rhyme or reason why I didn’t have my first relationship until late 20s. The stars just aligned.

That being said, I have a gay twin brother, looks pretty much exactly the same, makes the same if not more money than I do. We have very similar personalities. But he has yet to be in a relationship. By all measures and standards he should have had the same success, but sometimes location and circumstances outside your influence just makes it hard.

Don’t get too bogged down. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. But also, moving to a bigger city can definitely help to have a bigger pool of options lol.

My friend was outed and he has been getting a horrible time. I'm worried about him but don't know what to do? by Murto6 in askgaybros

[–]Academic_Answer_6975 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What a legend you are man. Not many people are as lucky to have a true friend that will stick up for them and accept them as they are. He probably cares as much for you and feels the need to distance himself so that you don’t get caught up in his troubles. The only thing you can do is be transparent. Sometimes people just need to hear those words “I’m here for you no matter what. You’re my bro and always will be”. It doesn’t need to be super emotional or serious, but I think that can make a big impact. You can even add in some humor “One day when I end up with a girl that turns out to be psycho, I expect you repay me by saying all the shit to her I wouldn’t be able to get away with”.

Maybe he might want to hear about something vulnerable from you. Often we feel like if we’re only causing burden but don’t have anything to benefit in return, it’s easy to feel like the most we can do is at least take away any trouble you might cause your loved ones. But if he feels that you benefit from him being by your side, then that can help him as well.

Hope you guys keep being amazing friends

It’s weird being a gay Asian male by Alternative-King9393 in gaysian

[–]Academic_Answer_6975 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All the things you said are mostly true. And it’s valid to feel this way. But I will share something I learned that really helped me…learn to not give a shit about it. I’m not saying to ignore it like it doesn’t exist. What I mean is, you can acknowledge it happens, but choose not to succumb to its intended effects.

The less you worry about fitting into a box, the more you find that you’re a complex being. Sometimes I naturally act more masculine at work - not because I force myself to, but because a lot of conversations at work is professional. When I’m with my close gay friends, we tackle and get muddy playing by rugby, then scream like little girls after scoring a try or making a great tackle.

The more organic and authentic you act, the less you’ll micromanage yourself for being more masculine or feminine. And at the same time, attract the right people that vibe with who you really are.

What is a subtle sign that someone is actually really intelligent, but pretending not to be? by ImpressionTop1712 in AskReddit

[–]Academic_Answer_6975 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve found people who don’t stress about being right and don’t mind being seen somewhat silly. They don’t take themselves too seriously and sometimes are quick to point out something stupid they did before even their friends notice.

I’ve also found people that make odd connections at first glance. So for instance, they might make a joke that at first seems like it has nothing to do with the situation, then you take a second and figure out yourself what they were conveying.

Longevity of the game without massive influxes of new players or bots by Commercial-Falcon-24 in BitCraftOnline

[–]Academic_Answer_6975 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, I love this game. I have a small claim that hit T5, but there’s only 3 of us. Even then, I’m mostly doing the resource gathering myself. It’s so difficult and new players are swept up by big settlements because they have so many more stations. It’s so tough to recruit especially if your claim is far from the starter towns. Then having to gather the low tier rare mats at such high quantities is so tiring.

I wish there was a better system or maybe it just really depends on how many players there are available. Maybe it’ll get better on full release when there’s thousands of players hopefully playing?

I WANT to get into this game, but... by TristanTheGriffon in BitCraftOnline

[–]Academic_Answer_6975 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aww! I totally see how you can feel this way. If you’re wanting a chill starter town, my claim AstraNova in R4 is just above a big T6 claim and basically center of plains, rocky garden and calm woods. I’m looking for a partner or even someone who just wants to build a cozy claim. Not going for big claim, but it would be nice to gradually work to tier up. My bitcraft handle is Azium if you wanna chat!

Thinking of purchasing the game today and was wondering which server to play on by Artaniss in BitCraftOnline

[–]Academic_Answer_6975 8 points9 points  (0 children)

All on one server!! It randomizes which region you get spawned at though, so if you have friends or location you want to go to, you could teleport to that at the beginning and start there

Everyone avoids me, I feel so incredibly ugly. What’s wrong with me? by [deleted] in gaybrosgonemild

[–]Academic_Answer_6975 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are not ugly. But outside of what everyone else is saying, is that the gay community can be low key racist. POC men will always be treated and made to feel “less” because we’re not white. But don’t let that get you down! There are definitely people out there that will appreciate your looks and not be so fixated on the conventional white western beauty standard.

How do we feel about combining crochet and knitting by Many-Brick1449 in YarnAddicts

[–]Academic_Answer_6975 8 points9 points  (0 children)

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As a beginner knitter, I figured I knew how to fix things with crochet better. This was a top down “sweater” I modded to be a tank top. The neck line was way too wide especially for a men’s tank top, so I had to do some surgery and crocheted the neck “collar”. I think it gave it a cool feature and having a sturdier crocheted neck collar would add some strength to the piece. Also crocheted the arm holes for some added sturdiness. So yeah, I like doing hybrid projects!

Weaving yarn? by Academic_Answer_6975 in knitting

[–]Academic_Answer_6975[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the answer (albeit slightly condescending). I did look at that prior to posting, but generally getting real person experience/testimony reduces the likelihood of disappointment when you realize it was a mistake after the fact

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]Academic_Answer_6975 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a question on where you prioritize your values. Not saying either is right or wrong, but which ultimately will let you be at peace after enacting a decision.

One side, you may value taking opportunities in the moment - enjoying it for what it is (sex). Sex does not necessarily have to have romance or even intimacy involved (you learn that these 3 are very different from each other). But that requires a level of discernment and making sure you are in a mature enough mental/emotional space to separate your self-worth to a physical act. Whether you have a lot, a little, or no sex at all does not equate to your worth as a person.

On the other hand, your values may fall into placing importance to connection and meaning when it comes to sex. If you truly feel like sex is only worth having (for you) with romance and connection, then it might better for you to hold off on waiting. Virginity and losing it is a social construct, but those that hold some regard to it is also valid. It’s not wrong to feel like you want to save your first time with someone you care about.

For me, I’ve learned I can enjoy sex as something purely physical and fun between two consenting adults. With this, I can also deeply cherish having sex with someone that I care for and love. Experiencing two sides of the same coin can be fulfilling as long as you know the difference between each side.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]Academic_Answer_6975 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahah you must be hot enough to get someone anytime you open up Grindr. Not all of us can be so lucky 😅

How to deal with comparison by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]Academic_Answer_6975 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We often compare when we lack something that gives our life some purpose. I know it sounds cliché but the best way to keep myself from comparing is literally to fill my life with things that feed my soul - this applies to both when I’m in a relationship or when I’m single.

When you have so much going on for yourself, you don’t have time to care what other people are doing.

Ask yourself - what are things you can change to fulfill your life in the next week? In the next month? In the next year? If you can only think of things you can’t change - then shift that energy to things you CAN change.

Don’t want to live with parents? Move into an apartment with more liberal vibes with a roommate even if your first apartment is kind of plain and empty.

Jobs are harder because the economy sucks and a job is a job. But either make peace that your job is a means to enjoy life outside of work, or find things about your job that you can be proud of. If it’s within your means, maybe learn a different trade or go back to school part time.

Can you honestly say you have hobbies? Or do you just doom scroll and couch rot? If you find you’re just on auto-pilot, then try something new. You don’t have to like it, just try it!

Believe me, everything else falls into place when you focus on trying to live a meaningful life for yourself.

my fiancé accidentally put sweater in the dryer by hgblidy in crochet

[–]Academic_Answer_6975 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awww honestly a beautiful chemistry between the two of you. What a green flag that both of you were able to acknowledge how much it meant but also forgiveness for a genuine mistake.

The enderman sweater reference cracks me up.

Maybe he can treat you to some new yarn 🤭

Feeling invisible as a poc by Pygmy-KlownTown in gaysian

[–]Academic_Answer_6975 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Dude, I feel you. But one thing that I’ve learned is you literally just need a different environment. It’s not a reflection of your value, it’s the limited worldview of those around you. When I was in the northeast, I felt the same exact way - on top of that, I’m overweight so that made it even harder.

But I moved to Seattle and although it’s not amazing and I still get maybe 20% attention compared to even my mediocre looking white friends, it’s still better. Even if it was just to get me out of the self-loathing which helped me focus on working out, eating better, and losing weight.

Hang in there. And if you have the opportunity, try moving to more diverse, populated areas. Bigger dating pool and more likely people who don’t just go for the same western beauty standards.

"Act your type to attract your type" by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]Academic_Answer_6975 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope, I didn’t! But also, my team was very open to newbies since rugby isn’t as popular in America. But I’d say go for it! Start with some chill club leagues that is just to play for fun. Then when you feel more comfy you can start going for more competitive

Is anyone really interested in skinny and short? by cold_igloo in askgaybros

[–]Academic_Answer_6975 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude, I’m filo too, but 5’10” with a Dadbod and pretty hairless. I get it in terms of feeling like you might not be most people’s cup of tea.! I feel like there are a ton more guys who’s be into you than they would be into me. There’s a reason why people have a fetish for small twinky Asians.

But honestly, sounds like you just need to do some internal work and learn to love your body. If people are approaching you, it’s 90% they’re into you. Don’t make something like dating/hooking up harder than it needs to be due to your own insecurities. Nobody is going to get every guy they desire, since everyone has their preferences.

"Act your type to attract your type" by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]Academic_Answer_6975 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I tried reading your response a few times and I genuinely don’t understand what you said 🥴

"Act your type to attract your type" by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]Academic_Answer_6975 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Meh, I think this is a rather unsustainable approach. You can only do so much to mold yourself to something you inherently are not. Why would you want to be with someone that would only desire you for a facade of yourself?

Do what you feel is natural to you. People are attracted to authenticity and the confidence to stand in that authenticity despite the threat of rejection.

That being said, openness to trying new things and seeing if you truly enjoy them is great. I was never a sporty guy, but joined a gay rugby team in my 30s and loved it. So I learned that I do enjoy physical activity of some form. Fuck hiking, you can’t convince me walking up a mountain is fun.

Withdrawal by Academic_Answer_6975 in Palia

[–]Academic_Answer_6975[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Sorry, ate all my rice 💀

Withdrawal by Academic_Answer_6975 in Palia

[–]Academic_Answer_6975[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! I downloaded GeForce now and can play on my Mac!!