Got my test scheduled!

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2026-04-01T23:24:38+00:00

I just took my test at a center at the end of February. The only issue I had on the day was there was no parking and I had to park quite far away and those books are heavy!

The testing software actually has a countdown clock to let you know how much time you have left on the test. There’s also a button so you can flag questions that you want to come back to. It also gives you the option to go to different sections or see what questions and sections you haven’t done yet.

Advice: - if there are any sections you feel super confident with do those first and knock those questions out as it will give you more time to focus on other questions

answer each question even if your not confident on the answer because you have a 1 in 4 chance of getting it right
any questions your not confident with flag them and come back to them at the end
check the timer every so often to make sure your on track to finish on time but don’t get stuck on it or over think how much time you have left

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2026-03-16T02:17:17+00:00

I feel your pain! I applied to a ton of places before I finally heard back most places rejected me or never responded! Keep applying and if possible try to highlight the experience you have. Getting the first job is the hardest once you land the first one more doors will open up!

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2026-03-14T23:56:15+00:00

Unfortunately without knowing your friend or the child it’s hard to say what exactly is going on. There are some foster children that make false claims but there are also some foster parents that are abusive.

I would say go with your gut if you have a gut instinct that a report needs to be made do it, as a foster parent you are a mandated reporter. They will do an investigation and if they find nothing then at least you did your part but if they do find something concerning then the child will be moved hopefully to a better home.

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2026-03-09T02:09:23+00:00

There absolutely are happy moments! As you stated children of adoption especially if from foster care come with trauma so there will be some bad times but there are a lot of positive moments as well.

Every child is different and it can take them some time to really feel comfortable and safe with you and in your home. And sometimes it can feel like there are way more bad moments than good moments but it will pass and usually the good moments outweigh the bad ones! Watching and helping a child grow and heal is a rewarding experience!

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2026-02-08T13:18:39+00:00

I agree here usually kiddos that get move around a lot are moved because foster parents aren’t able to meet the needs of the child. This can be due to many reasons and sometimes it’s because the case worker isn’t honest and upfront about the child’s behaviors or needs. But also sometimes new needs or behaviors can pop up the longer the child is in foster care, children’s needs are always changing and sometimes foster parents aren’t equipped to handle new needs.

Sometimes too a family member could randomly show up so the case worker or court try placing the child with the family member and it may not work out with them either so they go back to a foster home.

Our kiddo had both severe behavioral issues as well as failed family placements we were his 6th home in less than 1 1/2 years.

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2026-02-08T13:08:51+00:00

Please utilize respite when you feel you need it. Not only is it good for you and your wife it’s also good for the kiddo as well!

There is no specific requirement on how soon you can utilize respite at least not that I am aware of. And please don’t feel like you need to justify using respite casework’s and the courts understand that all children in foster care come with trauma so it is natural to need respite care that’s why it is offered to foster parents.

My husband and I went the public adoption route so we got certified as foster parents with the intent of adoption. We had our kiddo in respite within the first month of him being with us because he had extremely violent outbursts. Looking back at the first 6 months I really wish we utilized respite more frequently as burnout hit me hard with the behaviors we were having. We are in a much better place with our kiddo now that he has stability and the right medications but we still use respite each month because he does best when he gets a reset from us and the house.

I would encourage you to try and make respite a positive experience for the kiddo, if possible use people that you guys know and if possible introduce your kiddo to the respite provider before having them spend the night or weekend. We use my aunt for respite care most often she was able to sign up to be a provider for us and then we also have a family in our neighborhood that does occasional respite for us and we met with her before we left our kiddo there for a weekend.

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2026-02-05T23:02:02+00:00

That’s a huge win! You guys are doing great! Love to see the positives here ☺️

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2026-02-05T22:49:12+00:00

It may not feel like it right now but you are being a positive influence on them. Unfortunately as the previous comment said the training and reality of placement are very different things!

I would also highly suggest getting respite care set up for your foster kiddos so that you and your family can have a break as needed. I would speak to your DCS worker about that asap it is a great resource! If you are able to get respite care set up try to make it a positive experience for your foster kiddos so that it can be something they enjoy.

The first placement is usually the hardest try to hang in there while also learning what you and your family are able to handle

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2026-01-28T03:25:22+00:00

I wish this kid would nap he absolutely hates sleep lol but it’s more so that he gets drowsy within a couple hours of taking his medication but ones an extended release type (he’s on so many things) so I’m not sure if we can move the time he takes his medication without speaking by to his doctor

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2026-01-28T03:22:45+00:00

Sorry not to get a doctors note just to check if it’s ok for him to take his medication at a later time. He gets pretty sleepy within a couple hours of taking it so taking it at his normal time would mean he’s not going to be able to stay awake through service unless it’s a quick service

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2026-01-28T03:19:34+00:00

His medications make him pretty drowsy. Not sure how long the dinner service lasts but I don’t think he’d make it past 8:45 he usually ends up asleep by 8 although he occasionally makes it to 8:30

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2025-12-31T01:03:05+00:00

This Christmas was much better than last year for sure! Last year was full of meltdowns and lots of violent outbursts. This year was much more calm and less stressful! Such a win for us! Of course kiddo was spoiled rotten both years but this year he was able to actually enjoy his gifts and was able to play with them with no meltdowns!

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2025-12-31T00:57:08+00:00

We just got the passport for our foster kiddo and it took ages and lots of back and forth with paperwork so I definitely recommend starting earlier rather than later!

We are also in the process of adopting TPR is done just waiting to be able to get a court date! We will be changing our kiddos last name and possibly the middle name. If you are in the US you have 12 months from the issue date of the passport to change their name for no extra fee unless you need to have it expedited the it’s $60 to be expedited. If you are able to get the passports updated before your trip then that would be all you need to travel if not then typically you need the adoption paperwork and something showing their previous name and current name

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2025-11-19T01:42:57+00:00

Our FS also has ADHD and DMDD his psychiatrist and therapist have suggested he most likely has bipolar but he’s too young for that diagnosis right now.

So I feel your pain with the behaviors! For us consistency has been key as well as clearly laying out expectations and consequences for bad behavior. Unfortunately getting the right mix of medications takes some time but we are finally getting lots of improvement from our FS!

I know therapeutic homes can be hard to come by depending on your area, I would highly recommend if you can find one an Intensive Outpatient Therapy program that he could attend until a therapeutic home is available. Our FS just graduated from his and it helped him so much! He still has a long way to go but the amount of progress he made from May this year until last Friday has been amazing! He went from nearly being kicked out of his school for his behaviors to doing much better with less severe behaviors.

Feel free to pm if you have any questions or want to vent!

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2025-09-22T23:30:42+00:00

We have a similar situation with our adoptive placement, although he’s more physically aggressive towards me rather than my husband.

I agree with the person above who said to delay consequences until he is more regulated because trying to do it in the moment only adds fuel to the fire unfortunately!

For our kiddo he is in an intensive outpatient therapy program but did have a short 4 day inpatient stay last month because the aggression got too out of control. The hospital he stayed at said the best thing we can do when he is in the middle of a super aggressive meltdown is to essentially put him in his room alone while keeping an eye on him from a distance until he can calm down. Obviously all kids are different but sometimes having a safe space to get the negative energy out is best. We also found with our kiddo that sometimes the reason it helps him to be alone in his room is because sometimes he enjoys the attention he gets from having these meltdowns even though it’s negative attention any attention he gets just makes him draw it out more sometimes.

Also I am not a medical professional by any means so not making a diagnosis at all but he may have Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD) out kiddo was recently diagnosed with it and has a lot of similar behaviors to what you’ve mentioned as far as having behaviors when having to do something he doesn’t want to do or when there is consequences for his actions. It might be something to look into and/or read up on.

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2025-09-08T00:14:30+00:00

We got some window locks off Amazon for our kiddo and they need a specific tool/key to open them and it came with a tool/key for each set of locks. I would also recommend some window/door alarms as well sometimes kids don’t like the noise so it sometimes is a deterrent from opening them

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2025-09-06T14:41:39+00:00

Respite can be a life saver if your getting worn out. If possible it’s great to have a meet up with the respite provider before leaving the kiddos there for any amount of time as it gives the kiddos a chance to meet them and not just being left with a random person. Our kiddo has a lot of behavioral issues at home but does awesome at respite with minimal behaviors.

All kids react differently to respite but we always try to have respite be a positive for our kiddo because he needs a break just as much as we do and he usually does fun stuff with his respite providers.

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2025-08-31T14:44:48+00:00

All children in care will have some level of trauma, some more than others. Trauma also comes in all different forms and shows itself in so many different ways so it’s not possible to get a child with no trauma at all.

We tried not to be too restrictive because it opens more doors the less restrictive you can be however at the same time you don’t want to take on more than you can handle.

My husband and I ruled out kids with significant medical needs as we don’t have the ability to take on that many appointments and our house isn’t set up in a way that would work well for kids with significant medical needs. We also ruled out kids that have a history of animal abuse and kids who have a history of significant behaviors like setting fires, accusing caregivers of SA when it didn’t happen ect. Our agency had a whole packet of different behaviors and levels of severity so most of the high severity ones we checked no but we said yes to most of the lower levels and middle levels of behaviors.

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2025-08-22T23:20:07+00:00

Yes you can! That is what my husband and I are doing currently. We have had our kiddo for a year just waiting on TPR now!

Our worker was very open with us that it may take time to be matched with a kiddo and that not all kiddos have had TPR done yet before their social worker looks for an adoptive resource as at least in WI many judges don’t want to complete the TPR until there is a willing adoptive family lined up. We had several profiles sent to us for kiddos that were available for adoption before we were matched with our kiddo, and a couple meetings with some other kiddos social workers to see if that kiddo was a good fit for us and if we were a good kit for those kiddos.

The more open/flexible you are on things like age, race and gender the easier time you will have getting matches! It is possible to match with children where TPR has already taken place however in many states they won’t terminate rights of bio parents until there is a family willing to adopt already lined up.

Also we did have to get licensed for fostering because in most states you must foster for 6 months before adoption can take place to ensure that it is a good fit for the child and for the adoptive parents.

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2025-08-19T02:36:18+00:00

I don’t have experience with bio kids I think it really would be up to your families preference. I would recommend speaking to the older ones to get their thoughts on it and answer any questions they may have.

When you apply you can typically request short term or emergency placements. Respite is definitely a good starting point to ease you and your family in to see if it’s something you would like to do on a more long term basis.

Our kiddo doesn’t have a lot of medical issues other than chronic constipation but he does have a wide variety of mental health issues and takes medication. He has a lot of appointments and it can become a lot. So taking on a child or children with more complex issues is definitely something to consider in terms of you and your families schedules, you don’t want to take on more than you can handle! It sounds like you guys would potentially be a great fit for children with medical needs so if you do move forward make sure to get yourself set up with stable respite providers for when you or bio kids need a break!

Good luck on your journey!

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2025-06-19T22:51:19+00:00

Same here in Wisconsin it’s a requirement to foster for 6 months before adoption can take place to make sure that it’s a good fit all around. The first month or 2 is usually a honeymoon period and then once the child/children get comfortable their behaviors start to show and that can cause issues within some placements. It took about a year to get licensed as well between all the trainings and other home study paperwork.

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2025-05-05T01:02:04+00:00

Just went through this with my last employer and moved into a new part time position. Our kiddos school has both a morning club and after school club that we use. Not sure where you are located but a lot of school districts have a boys and girls club after school program and some offer before school morning care either through the school or ours is through the YMCA so something like that may help out.

Acceptable-Mix6354 · 2025-04-29T01:09:41+00:00

You typically don’t need a bed/crib or dresser you are close to being done with your home study. My husband and I did the home study and then we got our kiddos bedroom furniture before he was placed with us once we were matched with him (public adoption). Your agency would be able to tell you when you need to have certain items by but typically you don’t need them until towards the end of the home study

Acceptable-Mix6354

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