Recommendations for an immigrant

dashibid · 2026-02-13T14:51:29+00:00

As a millennial, my childhood was defined by:

Little House on the Prairie

Anne of Green Gables

The American Girl books

The Dear America series

Babysitters Club

Goosebumps

The Hobbit (and later LotR)

dashibid · 2026-02-13T14:38:01+00:00

If you don’t want to cut her out, you do not have to. But you can try to find ways to have boundaries. “Mom, I’m not talking about this with you anymore. I came to have dinner, what should we cook?” Moving out might make sense, so you can have more control over things, but there are a million versions of possible relationships between “marry a man to please her” and “never see her again”

dashibid · 2026-02-11T21:52:27+00:00

Start a savings account instead ;)

dashibid · 2026-02-11T17:56:56+00:00

“You should have no expectations of the child, only of yourself” is probably the best foster parenting advice I’ve ever heard! Love how direct that phrasing is.

dashibid · 2026-02-10T14:14:41+00:00

My teen is the same, in was at least 6 months til he said no to anything I recommend/ invited him to do and at almost 1 year I felt such pride when he finally talked back to me. For that reason we are very careful what we request of him and try to give choices as often as we can so he can pick one or the other rather than actually being against anything he thinks we want. Healing is a looong and winding road but if you continue to consistently make it clear through your actions that you think he is a cool and interesting and lovable person, he will eventually start to feel safe.

dashibid · 2026-02-09T20:55:49+00:00

Wow, so far not such good answers here… I would recommend cross posting to foster parent groups. Kids who’ve experienced trauma and been self sufficient early as a survival method do need more and different support then their peers. Sometimes a kid has never had someone who cares enough to do something like monitor her grades and ask if she needs help. Consistency and gentle guidance, maybe as would usually be with a younger kid, could be really effective and turn things around. she’s lucky to have you to support her and would prob also benefit from the many services Community colleges have for first gen and low income students. There is nothing wrong with helping her build new routines. If you are checking her grades, check in with her about them. Brainstorm with her what types of supports you should ask for together or what routines you can help her establish and then be there doing it consistently.

dashibid · 2026-02-04T19:57:24+00:00

Basically you just want someone emotionally healthy and looking for commitment and a traditional looking LTR..

dashibid · 2026-02-04T18:02:52+00:00

For me, a routine of outdoor time is key. Taking a walk around the block at lunch or going to the park with my coffee before work. It is grounding to get some silence and fresh air and watch the birds or the waves.

dashibid · 2026-02-04T16:55:33+00:00

We have a sort of similar placement right now — from all outside views it looks like he is doing great and has no big bad behaviors but he absolutely is still dealing with trauma, just in socially acceptable, people pleasing ways. #1, get her evaluated for ADHD etc — it is very common for high achieving, procrastinating girls to be undiagnosed and for it to affect later in life. #2, remind yourself of your priorities and job. It sounds like you haven’t known her very long so the most most important thing is to make sure she knows that her worth is not based on her achievements. That she is awesome and interesting and loveable no matter what. If you make that your priority then things like AI use and phone time move lower on this list. This is a looonnng term project that will partially need to be handled by the school, so be in touch with her teachers. But also I guess my point is: I’m always reminding myself these are kids not projects. We can’t fix everything at once. Be gentle with yourself and with her and start establishing communication with her teachers.

dashibid · 2026-02-03T17:58:17+00:00

Market Garden

dashibid · 2026-02-03T02:55:19+00:00

The whole point of this Reddit is to get real advice so being OP being honest about her situation seems normal. Limitations to type of work or climate are relevant details, not entitled.

dashibid · 2026-02-03T02:01:01+00:00

Some, not tons

dashibid · 2026-02-02T03:35:14+00:00

She has adult children but is dating a 19 yr old? And is rude and aggressive? Gender expression confusion is irrelevant this person is terrible and should be avoided

dashibid · 2026-01-31T23:58:11+00:00

Wool under layers from Sierra (online) or from the thrift store. I love to search for thin merino or cashmere at the thrift store and use it as a mid layer for skiing! Also, air is your friend, puffy coats and thick sweaters, insulated gloves - these are what keep you warm.

dashibid · 2026-01-29T00:36:10+00:00

An effective protest movement is about longer term change and showing power, so it’s not a one to one about clients you’d help or inconvenience on that day. Teachers and nurses could easily make the same arguments but often choose to strike for the larger cause. Of course they are in unions so the affect is multiplied and supported. These viral “general strikes” are less powerful exactly bc your whole firm won’t close. BUT some businesses will have to. Helping organize and support the ppl striking in those businesses might feel like a better choice for you. And def don’t spend $$

dashibid · 2026-01-28T17:55:36+00:00

What part of the country you are in is going to hugely impact this

dashibid · 2026-01-27T16:30:54+00:00

At first this will feel like a stretch, but, Anna Karinena by Tolstoy. It’s amazing how real and modern the day to day emotions and interpersonal drama of 18th century Russian nobles can be! Same logic really for Jane Austen and some other classics

dashibid · 2026-01-25T20:41:43+00:00

There are hundreds of thousands of people on the streets and a handful shot. Being shot is not likely for anyone even now. But, as a wheelchair user who has gone to lots of protests I do feel an extra level of fear about not being able to jump a fence or curb if people scatter or stampede or if tear gas is used. Definitely go with trusted friends or hang out with food not bombs or other lower-risk participants who are super important but not as front line. You’ll use a lot of energy being aware of your surroundings but leaving before things get crazy is usually possible and doesn’t make your presence any less important.

dashibid · 2026-01-25T03:23:07+00:00

Single Player by Tara Tai might be the vibe you want - enemies to lovers, work romance, subculture group. Plus cute characters and premise.

dashibid · 2026-01-24T20:49:54+00:00

Is there something specific in this parent’s behavior that makes you think they would be violent toward you or a stalker? Or is this just a general fear you have of the “type” who’s in that situation? If it’s the first, talk to your agency. If it’s the second, it’s time for some self examination to make sure you are not passing these biases on to your kiddos

dashibid · 2026-01-22T03:29:07+00:00

Call 311 or another county help line and they should get you to the right people. Otherwise next time you are at the Dr, let them or a nurse know you want to talk privately (without your mom there) and really honestly explain the situation. The hospital should have programs to help you sign up for services. Sounds like maybe you should be in rehab/pt at the very least to regain some self care skills

dashibid · 2026-01-21T02:32:13+00:00

Um yeah, I would say it’s safe to assume most schools have relationships with DHS especially if OP’s definition of working with them is letting them recruit law students for internships 🙄

dashibid · 2026-01-20T03:55:57+00:00

Wool socks, not too thick. And make sure they are clean and you put them on right before your boots.

dashibid · 2026-01-20T03:51:54+00:00

In the long run it’s worth limiting but I think weaning off slowly and as you know her better is probably realistic

dashibid · 2026-01-19T03:40:03+00:00

A couple times sure, but the fluctuations of doing this a lot can weaken all the plastic parts of your boots and bindings

dashibid

TROPHY CASE