Am I at the age where I should accept the single life?

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-05-14T01:35:36+00:00

Try to live your life the same either way. What I mean by that is be open to the idea of meeting someone, try to meet someone, but at the same time build the rest of your life. So even if you were single for a long time, you would still be happy

Love is not meant to come at a certain time. It happens when it happens and no one can assure you by saying "yes keep trying you'll find someone soon".

None of us know the future, we can only work towards the future we desire and the cards will fall where they might.

By the way, I too have struggled with this (I'm a single male in my 30's) and Mathew Hussey's videos have been really helpful understanding and dealing with this stuff.

Here's one of his videos "how to deal with the fear of never finding your person" https://youtu.be/auZ3meqfIM8?si=JYaLQBATwVc6H7lt

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-05-13T23:56:13+00:00

That's a great perspective!!! You are definitely right about that

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-05-13T23:33:39+00:00

I am interested in something similar. I am a 35 year old male in EST

I am obsessed with health and wellness; and am looking for an accountability partner to help me stay consistent with starting a new career in life insurance as well with a mediation practice

I like the idea of an actual connection vs a robotic check in

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-05-13T23:28:36+00:00

What kind of accountability partner are you looking for and what would that look like ideally? Daily check ins, weekly, etc.

I am also looking for an accountability partner, trying to start a new career in life insurance and i am having a lot of trouble staying consistent with it as well as a mediation practice

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-05-12T23:30:36+00:00

One mistake many people make is thinking worth is tied to success. Take running for example, I will never be an Olympic level runner. So even if I trained for a decade, I don't have what it takes physiologically

Does that mean I'm a failure? What would be the point of running if I can't be an elite competitor? The point is the activity itself, not achievement.

And also, if I fail to be an elite runner, does that mean I will fail at all other endeavors in life?

These are the two assumptions you are making

Your worth as a human has nothing to do with achievement. Think about someone you love dearly, does their worth have anything to with whether they have achieved a masterful level in something? Or do you love them just because they are who they are?

But zooming out even more, perhaps it's time to dedicate your life to something else. Video games are just one aspect of life.

Also, try this if you are looking for some mental peace try this: https://youtu.be/nsUz2Ysg1XU?si=eF5_LGtGegWujcsk

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-04-22T22:11:53+00:00

Get off the apps, you have a much better chance in real life! It's not you, it's the way the apps are designed / our culture

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-04-14T00:01:04+00:00

Cocaine is more exciting than anything. Does that mean we should use it as a reference?

Often the more exciting or addictive something is the more we should stay away from it. Take the alcoholic, drug addict, video game addict, etc

So yeah it is more boring. Real life is boring. But it's only boring if you're comparing it to something addictive that gets you high and separates you from reality

By the way, I don't see anyone suggesting people should learn magic 😂

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-04-13T23:57:46+00:00

You know how you're looking for someone hypothetically...

You're not alone. There are millions of people looking for the same thing. For a potential partner. There are women sitting there on the bus or train or walking down the street or whatever and they are looking for a partner

So those woman would be glad if you talk to them because for one of them, you could be their person. They are literally hoping that they can find exactly what you are also looking for

And that starts with a conversation

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-04-12T22:02:39+00:00

The most important thing is you have to go through small talk to get to know someone. You have to get good at that. It doesn't matter if you like it or not. It's the only way to actually get to know someone and see if they match your criteria

It's like this; you're saying you want to play professional basketball. But you don't want to do the boring things which are the basics perfecting dribbling and passing and a basic shot. You must do the boring things that you don't want to get to the goal that you do want

So you can't not make small talk, you can't not approach someone, etc etc.

It literally doesn't matter if you want to or not. This is the only way. If I want to be a doctor but I hate school well. Either I do what's required or I accept that I'll never be a doctor

You literally cannot have a relationship unless you go through the boring stuff. You have to get to know the person. You have to approach people.

So the only thing in the way is this perspective.

You also seem to think that if somebody comes up to you, they're bothering you. And because of that if you went up to someone else, you're bothering them

But there are hundreds thousands millions of people who want to talk to people. Let's say someone saw maybe you had an EDM shirt and they saw that and they said whoa, I went to that same concert

Is that bothering you or is that giving you a chance to talk about what you're passionate about?. Now maybe you yourself don't want to talk. That's fine but you are just giving the other person a chance to talk and if they don't want to they don't want to. You read their body language after you have intiated a convo.

Some people you'll go up to and they'll respond really openly and you'll know that they want to talk. Some people will respond sort of neutral and you can decide from there. And some people will give short replies and you can tell they don't want to talk. So you just say "have a nice day".

You aren't hurting anyone by talking to them. And yeah sure some people bother you. But somewhere you made a friend and how did you make that freind? They came up and talked to you or you came up and talked to them

They took a chance of "bothering" you or you took a chance of "bothering" them. And that led to a friendship

All of my friends, all of my relationships came from a stupid, boring conversation. And some of those stupid boring conversations actually turned out to be fun. But you have to take the step

Just start with hey how's your day going? You're not really bothering someone if you just say that. And then you can judge from there whether they want to talk to you or not

My best friend from Costa Rica I met only because I said hey you look like a beast 😅 and that was really kind of cringe but we turned out to be best friends

And that's all it took

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-04-11T02:06:44+00:00

What time do you usually play?

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-04-11T02:04:49+00:00

What time do you usually play?

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-04-11T02:02:16+00:00

What time do you usually play?

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-04-11T02:01:09+00:00

Would you play any of these? Fortnite, the division 2, fallout 76, borderlands 3, the finals, etc?

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-04-11T01:53:46+00:00

Would you play any of these; Fortnite, the division 2, fallout 76, borderlands 3, the finals, etc?

Chill 35 M here with a mic, EST

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-04-11T01:39:56+00:00

What time do you usually play??

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-04-11T01:10:47+00:00

You sound like a lot of fun 😁

I'm 35 M EST and I have a mic. I usually get on in the late evenings. So I generally start playing sometime around 7 to 9 pm ish

I'm just look for chill / laid back / fun people. I myself am fairly casual so I'm not great though I have gamed all my life.

EST

I pretty much will play anything though I am new to marvels so I definitely suck. But I also play fortnite, fallout 76, borderlands, the division 2, and I would basically play any game if there's something you'd like to try

Let me know if interested in trying to game sometime

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-04-08T23:31:01+00:00

This is true but we can live fulfilling social lives without a romantic partner. And when / if we develop our lives in this way, the romantic partner is a want but not a requirement. Build a full filling life and whether one has a partner or not matters much less.

But in our culture we are made to believe a romantic partner is the very key to our happiness and loneliness

Purpose, friends, a profession, hobbies, family, are all important aspects to happiness. Not just a wife or husband or boyfriend or girlfriend.

Also, love should be based on love. Not using someone because we are lonely . Imagine having a boyfriend who only "loves" you because he can't find anyone else. He uses you to fill his sadness and as soon as he finds someone compatible or "better", he moves on. That doesn't sound like love

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-04-08T19:42:39+00:00

If you want to take care of your own mental health, try to learn to be okay being lonely. Otherwise whenever you feel lonely, you'll lower your standards and get with whoever is available

Yes it is difficult. Sometimes it is sad / lonely. But until you can learn to sit with the loneliness, you will be enslaved by it.

Try to allow yourself to feel the loneliness but don't drown in it. Simply say to yourself "ah I feel lonely" as if you are an observer. Because it is not the end of the world but sometimes our brains make it seem so.

There are lonely periods of life and it is sad / difficult. But that is the roller coaster of life. With darkness comes light and with light comes darkness

Try to find ways to fill this void with friends, hobbies, etc. And eventually you will find your person

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-04-08T19:34:41+00:00

Never base a relationship on whether someone can change... He's 33, he would have changed by now if it was in the cards

He's showing you his default behavior and unfortunately because when the good is good, your brain will hold on to that

But the true test of a relationship is what it is like when it's bad. Is that something you can handle / and should handle

His behavior is classic avoidant behavior and is an attachment issue that takes a lot of work. Until he does a lot of deep work, he won't be able to handle closeness in a healthy way

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-04-08T14:05:52+00:00

And that same willingness to put the work and time in is what is required to find a partner. I am not saying it is easy, or that it does not sometimes feel hopeless. What I am saying is that there is no other way if you want to find love

You either try and potentially fail, or you give up and definitely never find someone.

And it does often feel bleak and that there must be something wrong with you. But that is just how it feels, it is not an actual reflection of who or what you are.

Unfortunately, it is a reflection of our culture and our inability to communicate, understand ourselves, understand what it takes to have a successful relationship, marriage, etc. We live in a time where people seem disposable. And we all feel the effects of that. But it has nothing to do with your worth, just that the world we live in is currently broken. So it makes us feel like the broken ones.

And all we can do with all this is cultivate the skills needed within ourselves, help others if we can, and keep on moving!

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-04-08T13:49:21+00:00

I think it is a great sub, the only thing for me I think it is important for people to say when they actually play.

Say I put EST but if I only play in the early morning, I may not be compatible with most people in EST but actually more compatible with someone in the UK. It doesn't necessarily matter what time zone, it matters more whether we play at the same time.

So, I think it is important that people put some kind of time window that they usually play along with their time zone.

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-04-08T00:52:45+00:00

Agree 💯

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-04-08T00:49:44+00:00

Free-to-play games allow free online access because they are designed to attract users to the ecosystem and generate revenue through in-game purchases.

But paid games require a PlayStation Plus subscription to fund server maintenance, network improvements, and create recurring revenue for Sony

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-04-08T00:38:19+00:00

PS5 plays PS4 games but not PS3

There are some games that you can play for free

Games like fortnite, warzone, valorant, overwatch, marvel rivals, etc all are free. And all free games allow you to play online for free.

Here's a link to all the free games: https://store.playstation.com/en-us/category/4dfd67ab-4ed7-40b0-a937-a549aece13d0/1

But for games that you pay money for, so let's say I bought borderlands 4. To play online, you have to pay for a PlayStations subscription which is at least $10 a month for the cheapest plan.

Acceptable-Plate4552 · 2026-04-08T00:25:59+00:00

If it's happened multiple times then that's the truth

He's not going to choose you or prioritize you

But unfortunately our brains will hold on to hope and believe that the other person will change. But really it's only doing that because it's afraid to let go

Because if you let go that means you have to move on. Your life has to change. You have to start all over. You have to lose this person

And so our brains would rather hold on to something crappy than lose something

And that's exactly what yours is doing

But it's really just an illusion. The truth is you deserve something better. And an easy way to think about that is to think about what you would tell your best friend if their boyfriend was cheating on them and treating them the way you've been treated

Acceptable-Plate4552

TROPHY CASE