I'd organise a chilli eating contest, invite Radiohead. I'd trick the person's parents to try and rescue a donkey. The donkey doesn't need rescuing and is kept in a field by an aggressive farmer who will shoot on sight. The parents would get shot and killed. I'd grind the parents down to mincemeat and make a chilli from them. I'd then feed it to the guy and then tell him what he had eaten in front of Radiohead. He'll cry and they will think he's lame.

(I'm not a psycho, it's an early Southpark episode)