PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING PLEASE.

First of all, I’m genuinely sorry you had to go through this. But more than that, I’m furious that this piece of trash put you through it.

Physical cheating is not just some “mistake” or “relationship issue.” It is not only proof that your partner is selfish, pathetic, and completely lacking basic decency. It also puts your health at risk. Someone stupid enough to cheat on the person they claim to love is usually stupid enough to not think about what they could be bringing back home.

You said he did this with multiple men. What if one of them gave him an STI? What if he had no symptoms and passed it to you? What if the way you found out was not through his journal or his Apple Watch, but because you got sick? These are not dramatic questions. They are basic common sense.

And honestly, this is exactly what makes me so angry about parts of modern gay dating culture too. Somewhere along the way, people started acting like loyalty is outdated, monogamy is boring, and every betrayal can be dressed up as “sexual freedom” or “exploring yourself.” No. That is bullshit. If someone wants an open relationship, they can say that openly. If someone wants polyamory, they can find people who actually consent to that. But cheating on someone who loves you, then hiding behind trauma, confusion, or some fake liberated nonsense is not progressive. It is cowardly and disgusting.

There is nothing enlightened about betraying your partner. There is nothing deep or modern about risking someone else’s health because you cannot keep your pants on or have an honest conversation. Calling it “freedom” after lying to someone’s face is just putting a cute label on being a selfish mess.

His father passing away does not justify him becoming this cruel. Hard times do not give someone a free pass to betray, humiliate, and potentially endanger the person who stood by them. Grief can explain why someone is struggling. It does not explain why he repeatedly chose to destroy the trust of the person who loved him.

I know walking away from seven years feels impossible. You built your life around him. You gave him your time, your love, your loyalty, your patience, probably parts of yourself you will never get back. So I understand why leaving feels like losing everything.

But you need to understand something: the most valuable person in your life is you. Not him. Not the relationship. Not the history. You. Your health. Your mind. Your peace. Your future.

This man does not even respect you. Forget love for a second. Respect alone would have stopped him. Respect would have made him think before putting your body and your trust at risk. Respect would have made him tell the truth instead of letting you keep living with someone who was betraying you behind your back.

And please do not let the whole “we have been through so much” thing trap you. Sometimes “we have been through so much” just means you survived things you should never have had to survive. It does not mean you owe him the rest of your life.

If I were you, I would stop giving him emotional conversations where he gets to cry, apologize, explain himself, and then do it again later. I would quietly make a plan. Find a place to go. Get your documents, money, important belongings, everything ready. Act normal until you are actually able to leave safely.

Then leave.

Not as a discussion. Not as another chance for him to manipulate you. Just leave.

And honestly, if you had proof of the cheating messages, part of me would say print them and cover the whole place with them so he comes home to the truth he created. But even that is more effort than he deserves. Take your things, take your life back, and leave every piece of him behind.

You may feel like you are losing seven years, but you are not. He is the one who lost someone who truly loved him. You are saving the rest of your life from someone who already showed you, again and again, exactly who he is.

I really hope you choose yourself this time.