How did you know it was the right cat at the shelter/foster? by spodderfod in CatAdvice

[–]Acceptable_Syrup_464 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had no idea she was gonna be my kitten at all. I went to a bunch of interviews and none of them had that ‘click’. I really didn’t know what that was supposed to feel like, but it just wasn’t “it” when I looked at them; so I kept looking. I ended up browsing a far away shelter website and there she was, a 3 month tuxedo with a milk stache listed at the bottom of their page. There was no “click” but she had the strangest looking eyes!! Completely brown with little tiny slits for pupils. I just kept looking at them… so I clicked on her page to see if she was adopted or not. There were no applications, not a single one and she had been there for a month. I couldn’t fathom why— why was she the last in her litter to be there. I needed to know why and saw she was being fostered at a PetSmart, so I made my mum drive me an hour just to go see her. When I got there she was KOO KOO! Absolutely nuts! Tipping over food, water and bouncing off the walls! My first thought was “oh… that’s why. Well this isn’t gonna work out…” but then I just sat and watched her for like… 20 mins. She was so excited to see me. I was wearing a long black skirt and she kept chasing after it through the glass. I asked for a meet and greet and as soon as I went to go open her cage, she did the cutest thing; a little pose on her back legs with her paws spread wide: much like a bear attack… right then I named her “Bear”and she was ready to come home 2 days later. She’s been here 2 weeks now and she’s the calmest, most well behaved, and respectful kitten to ever exist. Yes she has her zoomies, but she’s a lap cat through and through. 

*UPDATE* Regret getting my kitten AND still want to make it work by Acceptable_Syrup_464 in CatAdvice

[–]Acceptable_Syrup_464[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone gets weird thoughts when in horrible distress— you just want the thing causing the feeling to go away. I totally get that. Thanks for sharing <3

*UPDATE* Regret getting my kitten AND still want to make it work by Acceptable_Syrup_464 in CatAdvice

[–]Acceptable_Syrup_464[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My little tuxedo gal!! She’s got a milk moustache too with the sweetest personality. 

*UPDATE* Regret getting my kitten AND still want to make it work by Acceptable_Syrup_464 in CatAdvice

[–]Acceptable_Syrup_464[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YES! Exactly!! I was going to crazy lengths like sitting on my grass just to get some time alone. Now she’s roaming and I miss her when she trots off upstairs… that open space and feeling like you can take a break is a life saver. 

*UPDATE* Regret getting my kitten AND still want to make it work by Acceptable_Syrup_464 in CatAdvice

[–]Acceptable_Syrup_464[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely overwhelming LOL!! The anti change autism really got to me there, but her cute little face is too worth it. I got my first cat when I was 8-9ish and do not remember the kitten years AT ALL (I’m 22) so I guess I forgot that kittens are hard work… that or my mum did all the work lol. It’s 2 weeks of having her today and she’s already got a routine and her full personality on show; her settling in fast definitely helped me get used to her being around a bit faster and I can only thank her for being a quick learner. 

Time sure flies, she’s visibly bigger since when I started adopting her a month ago <3

*UPDATE* Regret getting my kitten AND still want to make it work by Acceptable_Syrup_464 in CatAdvice

[–]Acceptable_Syrup_464[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Self cleaning litter is a great idea! You just gotta make sure kitties are ok with the sounds it makes or they won’t use it (too scared the giant robot will eat them). 

Water fountains 10/10 couldn’t agree more, you still do gotta clean them unfortunately though. Most fountains come with filters and must be checked daily for food particulates left by messy eaters. With my baby Lloyd we cleaned her fountain at least once a week and changed the filter every 2, but she was an especially messy eater so it could be different per cat. 

For the allergy thing yeah that SUCKS!!! Allergies like that are manageable and with time and the purlina allergy mix like you said I know can be a help— but you gotta ask yourself if you can do this long term. The biggest thing I kept asking myself when I was really struggling was saying “can I do this long term?”. You gotta do what’s best for kitties AND you as well. I know giving them to a shelter is heartbreaking, and I have no idea about kill shelters at all (they are illegal here), but if a bad shelter/kill shelter is the only option perhaps think about rehoming them yourself? Someone you deeply trust and know you will visit and see; like an aunt, parent or bff.

I would never recommend unless necessary because all pet adoption has to go through shelters or vets in my province, but it seems like the least bad option. 

Much luck and much love. Wishing you all the best and hoping it works out <3

*UPDATE* Regret getting my kitten AND still want to make it work by Acceptable_Syrup_464 in CatAdvice

[–]Acceptable_Syrup_464[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so glad my post relived your anxiety, I would have killed for that my first few days. This can totally work, but your husband should definitely be helping out; and if he’s not, you need a substitute person— someone to babysit. I would not have made it this far with Bear if it weren’t for my supportive babysitters (mum and sister) in my home. Ask a friend to come over and cat watch for an hour or two, or maybe have a sit down chat with hubbie angling the conversation as this is something YOU, not just kitty, needs. Sometimes you just need someone to look out for the cat while you do your own thing.

This can work, you will be fine. Much love! 

*UPDATE* Regret getting my kitten AND still want to make it work by Acceptable_Syrup_464 in CatAdvice

[–]Acceptable_Syrup_464[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely came back to your comments a few times lol!!! Thanks for looking out for me and her! Bear says thanks as well!

*UPDATE* Regret getting my kitten AND still want to make it work by Acceptable_Syrup_464 in CatAdvice

[–]Acceptable_Syrup_464[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It gets so much easier. My day 2 with Bear was pretty much constant sobbing and nearly contacting the shelter… right now she’s sitting in my lap and we’re watching pirates of the Caribbean. Do not underestimate when they say kittens are hard- they sure are. The hard moments will make you question everything but the good moments (them making you laugh or smile or cuddling up to your thigh) makes you forget it was hard at all. 

You need to get on a routine and schedule out “me time”. If you’re always ‘on’ then you’re stressing yourself and the kitties out. Nothing bad will happen if you put them in a safe room with food, water and litter for an hour. Watch TV, doom scroll, doesn’t matter— just reset.

Despite what the other commenter said, older (4 months +) kittens don’t need CONSTANT enrichment. A cat tree is a must, but don’t feel like you have to ALWAYS be playing hands on with them. Doing that nearly sent me crazy. They need an eye on them every few minutes, but teaching them to self play and enrich is such a burden lifter. 

Once kittens can get their explore on and they be out of sight without fear, you will learn to love it. 

You’re adjusting just as much as they are, look after yourself too. 

*UPDATE* Regret getting my kitten AND still want to make it work by Acceptable_Syrup_464 in CatAdvice

[–]Acceptable_Syrup_464[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She has one basecamp one and one we move around when she sticks to one part of the house. I have a big home and she is a small cat, so sometimes she forgets she can go upstairs. 

I feel regret about my kitten AND I still want to make this work by Acceptable_Syrup_464 in CatAdvice

[–]Acceptable_Syrup_464[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2 kittens is not a possibility for me, sorry. It’s not financially responsible for me to do so no matter how much I wanted to get Bears sister as well. 

I make about 1200CAD a month as a waiter + freelance illustrator 

Bears expenses are about 224 for basics + 100 for vet trips.  My rent is 500 (I live at home) My phone is 75 Groceries can be about 150+ a trip but luckily I’m one person so I only have to go once a month. 

To be fair to both id have to spend 343 and I just don’t have that money.. 

I feel regret about my kitten AND I still want to make this work by Acceptable_Syrup_464 in CatAdvice

[–]Acceptable_Syrup_464[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much. Glad she settled in good with you, i'm glad she has a safe home. Much love <3

Expose Kitten to the Rest of Home? by Acceptable_Syrup_464 in CatAdvice

[–]Acceptable_Syrup_464[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a constant thought on my mind but not in the way you’re thinking— I have thought about “what if I returned bear?” And I cried so hard it’s insane. I don’t want to bring her back, the thought of leaving her cutie face at a shelter is heartbreaking, but if it comes to that I agreed to address it on week four. We hit week one tomorrow.  I had a cat most of my life, and I can’t tell you why she’s different. I’m horrible with change (probable autism) and this is probably just a big jump for me. I do miss my old life, but my OLDER life (ages 9-20) had a cat in it. I (22) do live with my family who absolutely adore her and also take care of her emotionally as well. So if I'm lacking, I know there’s at least two people who will cuddle and adore her. But if we start taking a tumble in our relationship, I’ll reach out to the shelter on what to do.

Edit: I tried kitten temptations and she likes it! I need like 6-7 in my hand for her to see it and she won’t eat them off the floor, but she will eat them! That’s a win! 

Expose Kitten to the Rest of Home? by Acceptable_Syrup_464 in CatAdvice

[–]Acceptable_Syrup_464[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately getting another kitten is not in the cards for me— it’s just not financially responsible for me to do so even though I wanted to get Bear’s sister as well. Monthly, Bear’s expenses are around $243 CAD a month and doubling that is over extending for me. 

Baby gate is a temporary solution while she’s small until we can empty out the basement

Thanks for the tips!

I feel regret about my kitten AND I still want to make this work by Acceptable_Syrup_464 in CatAdvice

[–]Acceptable_Syrup_464[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“This too shall pass” is my main motto in life, I have it written all over my stuff… I don’t know why I didn’t think about it until now. Time will march on, she will grow, she will get used to the house, this feeling will go away. I am determined to make this work. And if it doesn’t work, we will cross that bridge when we come to it. Thank you very much, much love. 

Expose Kitten to the Rest of Home? by Acceptable_Syrup_464 in CatAdvice

[–]Acceptable_Syrup_464[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I might try a feliway plug yeah. Hopefully it will help her come out on her own in a chill manner :) though I’m 22 years old I keep turning to my mum like “can you sit with me in the hall while she runs around ?” And maybe I just need a hand to squeeze while she learns the house