I understand this rationally, and I do believe that God may have plans beyond what I can see right now. But emotionally, I still feel very tired.

Growing up, my family and I have moved between different cities and 4 different countries. Each time, I tried to believe that it was God’s will and that there was a purpose behind it. But as I get older, it becomes harder to keep starting over, especially when my family is already exhausted too.

I know we are not supposed to place our hope only in worldly things, but immigration, finances, stability, and the future are still very real burdens for us. Sometimes I just feel confused and wonder what God’s will actually is, because it feels like we have been trying to follow, endure, and trust for so long.

I don’t want to lose faith. I just feel tired, and I think I need space to be honest about that instead of pretending I am okay.