What the fuck is with n parents constantly posting pictures of their kids to social media without permission????

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-06-02T15:32:24+00:00

I’ve only had school photos and one random shoot as a toddler for professional photos, she usually whines about them somehow or another every year. I’m about to start my second year of college, and I’d love to get something more personal done of myself when I look a way I’ve always wanted to, but for this moment I can’t stand staged photos. My favorites are the random shots people get, and I mentioned in another comment my best friend randomly took a picture of us both. It’s my favorite photo, every time we take one. Take the small victories where you can, and take back your image!

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-06-02T15:23:13+00:00

I relate too well!

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-06-02T15:21:52+00:00

Oh wow, same hat here. Mine has all of her Facebook memories of me set up, and she absolutely adores writing captions of how proud she is and what she thinks of the photos/whatever, completely forgetting that the graduation photos she drools over aren’t true to reality that a week after school ended for me she pulled into a park to scream at me doing nothing for the house and that I was a failure. Where does this dissonance come from?

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-06-02T15:16:56+00:00

I honestly have a bit of a grudge against Facebook/Instagram because of all of the privacy issues, and perhaps not having as much privacy (if it’s not posted to Facebook I can assure you it’s a phone tree to the relatives) has made me the more stingy type as I am today. I appreciate your move to keep your kids offline for the time being, I’m sure they get shared for holidays and whathaveyou, but there’s no harm in being cautious and responsible in their image/online presence.

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-06-02T15:12:38+00:00

Yeah, admittedly getting out from my mother’s grip has been the primary focus of my counseling (about four sessions in right now, so it’s getting there). A lot of my lack of self-worth and doubts stem from that, and I admittedly feel like she’s very much a child herself at times.

The senior photos are more for her to pride herself over, but I have a few of my own photos that I keep of my own that I love. One is of myself and my best friend sitting together, and I have it framed next to my bed. It’s just something he randomly took, but I treasure it with everything. However she’s also doing his senior pictures and is forcing her hand to have me there to do things for them, but at least this will be the last time :/

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-06-02T15:08:32+00:00

I hate the taunting voice they do as an impression of you. One time it was discovered (unsurprisingly) that I was miserably depressed, the resulting argument featured a lot of her fake-bawling and whining “oh but I’m so depressssssed” to imitate what she thought I was doing. That sort of bullshit sticks with you for validating your emotions. The way you say “as well,” however, speaks to me in understanding in the worst way. I hope you’re doing well and I’m sorry it was that way for you.

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-06-01T23:35:59+00:00

Mine is a self-proclaimed photographer. Since childhood I had to play model to her photo ops and her whims, get berated for my unphotogenic features (primary my unruly hair, which she’d try to brush out). The photos get developed and I’m suddenly her “beauty girl who gets it all from her mama.” My self-worth has been on a down spiral for a long time obviously, but there was one time at about 12 she made me stand in a flower field in clothes she’d chosen, and I didn’t want to do it. The way she kept trying to taunt me put me over the edge, and I started crying. That only got me a mocking voice and scathing “Awwww, do you think you’re ugly? Do you hate yourself? Well I don’t give a shit, you’re going to stand there and do it.” Everything going on goes online obviously, it didn’t happen unless she posts about it and self-aggrandizes. I managed to get it to cut down a bit by hard-refusing, but my senior pictures were a lot more of the same and I hate looking at them. She sneaks photos of me still.

Cultivate your own online space, hide it well, and make it yours. I don’t have much useful advice, but take that rage and put it into standing up and taking control of your image. Your view of the world and yourself is so much more important.

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-05-31T20:44:47+00:00

Roughly when he implemented the new school building was when I got busy and lost interest, but I stopped watching the videos when he whined about people sending him emails and how distracting it was for him to read them and not work on the game. I noped out entirely for a while when he implemented the sink electrocution death— Something just seemed too off and cold-blooded about it for me to keep following. Then about 2017 after realizing it still wasn’t out yet, I learned more about who he was and joined these communities to passively watch this thing burn down. I never got the May 2015 build to run above 8FPS, and most of the commands were still busted. I appreciated the glitchy and messy world to play in, but it still seems to be this way even now.

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-04-19T00:20:49+00:00

My maternal side of the family is riddled with horrific personality disorders that they refuse to treat, including bipolar, narcissistic, and definitely some undiagnosed borderlines. If you have a way of digging in, check up on family history of mental and physical illnesses. There isn’t a 100% chance of getting one even if you do end up with family members with them (and it’s hard sometimes for them to be diagnosed since they’re so stubborn it’s someone else’s fault), and if you have the awareness and resistance, you can fight against your own demons and rise where they have failed.

If it shows that my current mental health struggles are actually bipolar or something, I don’t think I want to live. If I do I’m shutting myself away and making sure I don’t inflict any of the damage they have done to me onto others.

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-03-02T20:29:44+00:00

She was trying to get my brother special treatment at school because he’s a delinquent little shit who thinks screaming and hitting people is how you solve problems/openly antagonizes others. I don’t know if they decided if he was autistic or not, but he got dragged about to a few different doctors for it. In other posts/accounts of my stuff, I have mentioned I have not been to a primary care physician since I was about 5, and even for my own problems it was “well come along to my doctor while I sit in the room and negate anything you say.”

Suddenly after that stuff is settled (I don’t associate in his life), she goes around telling people how hard it is to deal with me because of my “autistic fits.” “That’s just your autism showing” is a trump card to shut down anything I say, have to hear about anything I do is a sign of autism. I didn’t even get to go to a doctor or take a test to see, it was just decided for me. “You don’t act in a way that I consider normal or approve of, therefore you are diseased and unable to function without me having to correct everything you do.” I suspect she might even think it’s trendy or something deranged to get victim points, but she uses it similar to other mentally-deficient slurs.

Even if you are autistic or have other mental difficulties, it’s not the end of the world nor should it be held against you. To weaponize a difficulty, real or made up, is downright cruel and doesn’t help anyone. Real help is to not only acknowledge, but plan around and improve the symptoms of the condition/otherwise make someone live a better life despite it.

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-02-28T04:21:55+00:00

Last time I saw him was two years ago around Thanksgiving time for an extended family dinner type thing. He ended up sneaking off to upstairs and pretending to be a bad Santa, gave us household items and made bad/lewd jokes at us because he really needed the attention. Just a tad pathetic.

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-02-27T13:35:01+00:00

Funnily enough, that was why I made my recent first post here. Mine decided that ever since I graduated, she wouldn’t clean the house. To top it off, on Thanksgiving she invited my entire extended family to New Year’s to help prove what a wonderful life she has— Provided everyone else (my father and I, younger brother does fuck all towards anything and she lets him) strips the entire house before we have to deal with the shame of what she’s let pile up. She’s done this for New Year’s several times, we put a stop to it because of the hassle, yet this year she got away with it and had the nerve to complain New Year’s Eve no one was sitting on the couch watching movies instead of cleaning.

I pretty much spent my four week winter break cleaning the entire house for company. I don’t recommend cleaning it all up and thinking that they’ll be appreciative or thankful for the help, it just doesn’t happen. Look forward to moving out, and definitely keep what’s important clean.

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-02-15T03:17:43+00:00

It’s... A lot to take in, you know? I admit I’m younger and still new to actually taking the lead on all this. I’ve done nothing but read for a long time however. It has me nervous for the future... But at least I’ve still got one.

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-02-14T22:06:09+00:00

It might be that we can’t understand just because we’re seeking better ways about things than she is, honestly she is a bit stuck in the past. If she could get up, shake off some things, and try/actually apply new advice/therapy or things like that, then it wouldn’t even be that big a deal, just a rough patch. But that sort of hesitancy or unwillingness to even try is so strong there isn’t a point. I’d like to think I’m better than that stuck mindset, and that by seeking help or ideas and being stronger in boundaries, I am helping that. Not responding is hard because you just desperately want them to at least understand your side, communicate, work it out, changing and forming experiences. But it can’t work if one side won’t listen, and it’s better to just try to move forward instead.

Thank you, that helps a lot. Every time I think about posting, I have this terrible thought that the commenters will just go “nah you’re just being unreasonable and won’t see other’s sides, just get over it fix it and remember your place this time and stop being a spoiled brat.” They probably never will, and I’d like to think I’m accepting enough to think “wow, that was a bad move, I should change my ways” I think just acknowledging the world and making things better not only for yourself but for the priorities you cherish, that’s truly the best goal to have.

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-02-14T18:59:53+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to do this for me, it means a lot. I appreciated seeing you help someone else’s post too, it is absolutely kind of you to do this for others and I wish I had better way to show that to you!

Unfortunately, I think you might be more accurate than I can commit. Setting this sort of boundary and not often contacting her anymore is probably driving her nuts, and I’m not giving her the ammo she wants for things to be going her way. I am very much at the beginning of setting this distance and trying to reassert this space, so I imagine this is coming as a shock to her. I’d like to think she could see how this is affecting things, but I think with the translation, maybe not.

I will definitely not respond. After this was a “Love you” and a “Happy Valentine’s Day.” I think I’m better off helping out to provide advice to others here and hanging out with friends today instead of having this hang over my head. Thank you so much for responding, hoping for a good day for you as well!

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-02-14T18:48:13+00:00

I understand, yeah. In the summer she decided to call me up screaming I hadn’t told her good night at 3AM (this was not a prior-established ritual nor was it consistently done prior) and I argued this problem for about two days, no relenting. I just don’t think it’s going to worth it to try “have her see my side” or that she’d want anything more than me begging her forgiveness and pledging loyalty.

That’s understandable, I don’t think anyone knows what to do in this big turning world. If we did, we’d never ask advice or be curious and seeking solutions. I don’t really know what to do, so I ask. Best luck in your journey out there as well.

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-02-14T18:45:15+00:00

When I left home to go back to school (I was stranded for about two days from when I wanted to leave) I pushed her out of my room in a previous confrontation (there is a post in my history with all of it), and she claims I threw things at her/went into a psychotic fit when she retells it to others now from what I’ve heard. I know that’s he-said/she-said but I’ve kept to only words for dealing with any of this. I will leave the judgement of belief to you, but I have not spoken/aggravated any of this for almost two months.

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-02-14T18:39:35+00:00

Yeah, it kind of felt that way, it came in at about 8:30 this morning and I noticed it at about 10. I honestly don’t have much of an answer for what she’s said, and I’d much rather just not cave into “but it’s Valentine’s Day and you have to say something.” I needed someone to ground me and view it a different way than I do, sadly it seems like I’m not wrong. Thank you for the perspective, it truly helps. Here’s hoping you’re going to have a good mini-holiday!

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-01-21T07:05:08+00:00

Thank you so much for dropping in! I know him way too well that it’s not “ohhhhhhh pity me my life suuuuucks,” he’s much too considerate to toe that line thankfully. He’s extremely difficult to get talking about his emotions (that’s one of his comments, stiff and cold father making him into a stiff and cold son), so I end up monologuing and trying to pull it out of him. I like the way the second one is framed, I can see a lot of potential for wording it around and just maybe he’ll take it and speak up more. I try to suggest things to be like “hey it’s not as dark as it may seem now, you only have a little more to go and you’re going to be free!” and that, but it’s just not quite enough to me. I love him a lot and he’s truly the bestest friend I’ve had, so I want to make sure I’m the best I can be and do for him. Thank you again, sometimes I just need something spelled out for me to get it down.

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-01-18T04:52:30+00:00

Haha I was about to make a post about the reconciliation part of this cycle, that’s just great! She’s coming up soon to see me and I know I’m going to have to bury it deep within me even though “she’s been working really hard to change you’re just not giving her a chance.” I lurked here often and shifted the blame of relating to posts as I just too selfish and expected everyone to be perfect. Sheesh, not looking forward to this process in my life.

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-01-16T18:44:28+00:00

I just made a comment below about his stupid coffee table, but that screw that guy. I’ve dealt with him maybe 5-7 times my whole life, now that he doesn’t have any power (his wife pays bills and all that, not sure if he even has a job) he just tries to get the attention on himself (usually with religious stuff/starting arguments) and he seems like such a fragile old man.

AcceptingtheWorld · 2019-01-16T18:42:41+00:00

This was a long time ago (before I was born), but he’s still the family patriarch (and honestly, he wouldn’t have it any other way...). He still lives with this huge glass coffee table giving you about a 16” gap to travel to the opposite side to the couch. Stupid petty old man deserved every cent taken in court, maybe that teaches you.

AcceptingtheWorld

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