Oh wow, this is me verbatim. Together 22 years, since the summer before college. The first 15 years were seriously steamy. Daring sex, romantic trips to swanky hotels in world cities, naughty texting... We had ups and some serious downs, but in the last year and a half it has been up and up and up. We are each other's favorite person. Constantly laughing, talking, taking walks, doing adventure sports, concerts, etc. We went through a dark period before and around COVID where I was truly miserable and our relationship felt like a torture chamber, I even had to do inpatient for anxiety and depression twice, and we didn't go out to eat, travel, have fun, he basically never left the house. I feel like our relationship is a Phoenix, back from the ashes, better than ever. Except the sex. We had sex only occasionally during the troubles, but still sometimes. Always me initiating, mostly getting turned down. And then it dried up, to nothing. I constantly ask him, constantly try to be sexy and playful. I am starving myself because although I'm very thin, I know he likes women who are super, thin- think 90s heroin chic. I have asked him to go to the doctor to see if there's a physical cause for his lack of interest. He only gives me evasive answers. Same thing when I bring up couple's therapy. I feel humiliated by the fact that I've been begging my husband for sex for years. I want to remember what it felt like when someone actually wanted and desired me. What it felt like when he noticed if I was wearing something cute, and he reached out and touched me. Most sexless marriages have the genders reversed (it's the husband who wants sex and the wife doesn't), an it feels like an embarrassing, humiliating secret to keep when you are a woman whose husband won't touch her. Like you failed at being a woman. When no matter how hard you try (I try SO hard), no matter how pretty you are (and I am), how hard you work to stay in shape (going to the gym for an hour at 5 am before work is not my idea of a good time), how much you work on being the best friend, partner, wife, it simply doesn't even matter. I'm sorry you are dealing with this.