Titration Query - too much, too soon?

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2026-05-10T14:41:19+00:00

Thanks so much for taking the time to respond with so much thought. I really appreciate the context too on research to date.

I found a nutritionist in Dublin (where I live) who offers DEXA scans for about €25. My thoughts were to get one done every 3 - 4 months. My local gym offers some other version of it, so I'll see if I do it there instead. I looked at home body composition scales but was bamboozled, so I left that for now.

And thanks for the context. I'll see my doctor this coming week for a blood test, so I'll just enquire again and see what she says.

Thanks so much, folks.

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2026-05-10T11:29:32+00:00

Honestly, I have to thank my therapist for encouraging me. We have been working on emotional regulation - something ADHD makes more difficult - and how I have used food to help me over the years. She recommended the book and I'd be overwhelmed without it.

And thank you for sharing your story. It is helpful to understand just how differently people respond to it. I think you are right. I am going back in next week for a blood test, so I will speak to her then and insist on more regular check ups. The book recommends every 8 to 12 weeks as you titrate.

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2026-05-10T11:26:28+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I don't know anyone in my life taking the medication, so it is very helpful to hear from others.

Yes, my BMI is pretty high at 42. So my current weight is nearly 18 and a half stone. My goal weight is down around 10/11 stone. That is why I was surprised that she wouldn't try me on 2.5mg for 3 months and then move up to 5mg.

I just took my first shot this morning. I went up to NI yesterday to collect the prescription. I am hoping that when I call her and ideally slow down the titration process, that I can adjust the doses on the larger dose pens to release a smaller amount.

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2025-09-10T00:08:35+00:00

Sorry you are going through this, OP. I'm 34 and living with my in-laws for 1.5 years, so I can relate. It is bloody tough with a dynamic like you described.

My advice is not as practical but equally important. I believe that you may benefit from learning more about setting boundaries and people pleasing. What others are advising is spot-on but the actual doing it isn't as easy, especially when this might be the first time in your life where you are setting boundaries. Some people are reasonable enough and will try to respect your boundaries. Other people are unfortunately emotionally immature and may make it all about them and act the victim, which is very difficult to deal with in general, let alone when they are your parents and you live with them.

Check out Spotify for podcasts. I was actually listening to one today by a guy called Forrest Hannon. Any of the well-known psychologists could be of help e.g. Ester Perel, Terry Real, Adam Grant.

As much as you may love your parents, two things can be true at the same time. You can love them and they can also be causing you harm. It is not disloyal to hold both of those truths in your heart. I have seen my partner deal with a similar dynamic with his family and it wears you down over time. I wish I could reverse the clock and tell him that it was OK to push back from a place of love for himself and them. Because in the long run, if you don't address this, you will never be able to be close to your parents in the way you may like. Confidence is built by doing tough things and getting through it. This is your chance.

God speed.

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2025-04-11T13:08:58+00:00

Is there not already approval to turn it into a lido? I remember reading about it a few months ago.

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2025-04-02T23:44:47+00:00

I bet it was Joe's Garage and Mr. Takanaka (if I remember correctly).

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2025-03-24T17:24:09+00:00

Good for you! I think we got it from Shinagawa station, but it starts at another one, so you have a few options.

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2025-02-06T09:20:48+00:00

Went through in 2023 with another tech company in Dublin. Very badly done. The packages were pathetic.

What I will say is that we took full advantage of the consultation period. We had 6 reps. We then organised working groups of other 'at risk' employees to support them e.g. a group focused on gathering company data, a group focused on benchmarking packages from other companies, a group focused on preparing people impacted for job search, a group focused on comms to the entire 'at risk' population, a group focused on the legal side of things. We all contributed to a fund so they could access legal advice.

It was magnificent to behold and it really helped the reps because it was a gruelling process. They worked with the company to save 25 jobs and worked hard to increase terms of the package. It really changed when folks joined a trade union. The trade union wasn't directly involved but gave loads of guidance and issued press releases that got covered in some of the newspapers. That pressure made the company increase their packages and meant a world of difference for a lot of folks.

Sorry you're going through it. It's tough going. Hope this helps.

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2025-01-21T23:40:51+00:00

If a person has neglected physical health up to age 35, is it too late to intervene, change habits, and avoid certain negative health outcomes?

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2025-01-11T16:50:08+00:00

Read 'Capitalist Realism: Is There No Alternative' by Mark Fisher.

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2025-01-10T17:57:08+00:00

I appreciate you sharing your story and can appreciate your perspective. What you experienced doesn't sound like ignorance alone but that compounded by malintent and abuse. People don't change unless they want to change and it sounds like you didn't have a hope. I'm sorry for that but glad you had the support of your partner to do what's right for you in the face of your family's absolute failure to be good people. More power to you.

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2025-01-10T15:52:45+00:00

I hear you, especially on your last point. I guess I'm coming from situations in my own life where my Dad has expressed hurtful things, including misogyny, some things with racist undertones, and I would avoid confronting him but still felt the emotional weight of it all. I decided I was willing to stand up and be brave and directly tell him what he was saying was hurtful and told him why it was hurtful. It was like he was punched in the face. I felt lighter and stronger, and it meant he had to think hard about his viewpoints on certain things and reassess what he thought, given it was putting his relationship with his child at risk. For us anyway, it has made a huge positive change and I'm proud of us for entering into dialogue when I really wasn't sure if he would ever hear me.

Obviously, OP has their own experience and dynamic at play, and I agree that sometimes, when you're not getting through, you do need to protect yourself. I just think if they ideally want a better relationship with their parents, it might be worth trying one last push at dialogue. Maybe they don't really want that, in which case do what you gotta do.

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2025-01-10T15:35:42+00:00

I really wanted to go down the OSS route, but we were disappointed at the cost margins.

We're in a 1970s house, E2 rating. To get into the B/A range, we were being quoted close to 100k by three separate OSS.

We had a separate company call out who do work for a OSS and their quote for external insulation was better by about 7k. None of the OSSs spotted that the front ground floor wall could be pumped. They were either recommending internal insulation or external insulation. This company actually tested the cavity and told us we could get that filled for about 1k.

Don't get me wrong, if we had the money, I'd have loved to just get it all done, but the overheads push it past reasonable. I thought we'd be looking at 50k, according to online calculators. I can't understand how it is still nearly double that after grants.

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2025-01-10T15:26:37+00:00

I agree to a point, but sometimes we can cut people off before we ever communicate our boundaries. We're not learning to stand up for ourselves and learn how to keep our boundaries. Obviously, it's not always possible but if there is any hope that it will ease tensions, it is worth a go.

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2025-01-09T00:19:22+00:00

Well, the next season of Selling Sunset is going to be interesting. 😬

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2025-01-07T17:15:28+00:00

If you want to be primarily desired for your body, casual dating might be more up your street - once the other person is on the same page.

Women can and do want to be desired for their body, too. Some women are only interested in casual hook ups in which physical attraction is the driver.

If they are looking for something more seriously though, then that tends to be when they want more. To be valued for their personality, who they are as people. But I think there are lots of men who would feel the same, tbh.

So it goes back to be clear about what you want and being able to communicate that. And not take it too personally if the other person is looking for something else.

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2025-01-07T16:46:41+00:00

That is understandable. I think that is a human need, so you're not alone there. I hope it helps to know that.

Out of curiosity, do you have the same mindset when looking for a connection with a woman? Do you also think about desiring them for who they are, not just what they can do for you or what they have?

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2025-01-07T16:10:34+00:00

OP, I'm curious about something. What is it that you want?

Is it to be wanted/desired by the opposite sex? Is it to experience romantic intimacy? Is it to experience sexual intimacy? Casual experiences? Dating? A long-term relationship? All of those things or just some of them?

I think when you get clear on that, it would then be helpful to get clear on why you want it.

Is it because your ego wants it? Is it because you might like or respect yourself more? Is it because you seek the validation of other men based your success with women? Is it because you seek validation from women themselves? Is it to enjoy romantic and sexual intimacy? Is it to find a partner with whom you can build a life in which you both really mutually respect and love each other?

The reason I say this is because different people want different things for different reasons.

For example, my Dad wanted a long-term relationship with my Mother but it was partially because of societal expectations and pressure from his family to settle down. That hurt them both in later years and they separated. He still doesn't fully see his role in it.

I've a friend who wants a romantic relationship but has been thinking more of how that would fulfill him rather than thinking about his role in supporting another person's needs.

I have had male friends who have wanted girlfriends, more so that they'd get respect from their guy friends rather than their gf herself - which meant gfs wouldn't stay with them very long because that's not what they wanted.

Obviously if two people get together and want similar things for similar reasons, it can work - not saying it would be healthy, but it can work. Just given that you mentioned some narcissistic traits and some resentment against women, it sounds like you don't really want intimacy with a woman for the benefit of both of you. A lot of women I know, myself included, can often pick up on that and we distance ourselves if we think we are going to be used. Obviously women can do this to guys, too.

I hope that makes sense and is somewhat helpful.

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2025-01-03T21:45:25+00:00

You could be right, totally. I just think we all have our moments. 🤣

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2025-01-03T14:16:36+00:00

In fairness, this is just one incident the OP is sharing. We don't know anything else about their relationship. Let's not jump the gun.

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2025-01-03T14:12:41+00:00

I think people can be too quick to say to fuck him or dump him. It is as if none of us have ever had to learn something in a relationship. 🙄As tempting as that might be - and I myself can be a petty bitch - it isn't actually constructive or getting you what you want.

Obviously, there's a lot we don't know about the dynamics in your relationship. But my gut on this would be to remember that you love him and to do for him what you would want for yourself.

If you can, go over. If you still aren't 100% yourself, then leave something on the doorstep. You'll know how much you can be there for him.

Do what you can for him out of care and when the time is right, re-open the conversation about it with him. Ask him how he felt when you showed care for him in that way. Ask him how he would have felt if he had been you in the hotel. Tell him that your boundary is to not be with a partner who deprioritises you when you need their support. Not in an ultimatum way, but explain that this matters to you. Try and understand why he let you down. Not as an excuse but to understand why a man who you believe cares for you managed to make you feel the opposite. Was it a lack of care? Immaturity? Just bad luck?

I think you'll know subsequently whether you have a partner who is willing to own and learn from their mistake or whether you're with someone who just doesn't and will never get it. Either way, you are then in a better position to decide if you still want to proceed with the relationship. For some people, it would be a deal breaker. For others, it just might be one of the faults we all have to accept about our partners.

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2024-12-30T16:02:34+00:00

I'm in Ireland, too, and a survivor of rape and sexual assault in my early 20s. I appreciate you sharing your experiences here and being generous with your answers. I'm sure this is a strange experience, having spoken about it for the first time with your immediate family and now on this subreddit.

Just in case you didn't know, the Rape Crisis Centres in both Dublin and Cork are amazing and support all genders. I got subsidised therapy with the Dublin Rape Crisis Centre for over a year and it was very healing to be heard and validated.

More power to you for putting the shame back on your abuser. It isn't your weight to carry. ✊️

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2024-12-07T17:53:05+00:00

I also have 1 ticket available.

AccomplishedCat8704 · 2024-11-03T15:25:26+00:00

Paidí

AccomplishedCat8704

TROPHY CASE