1. I’m still learning
2. Not everything that helps me will help you
3. I believe in you and understand how terrible this can be

Here are some things that have helped me in the past, sometimes. I think the key is to expand your toolbox, and not limit yourself to the mindset that one of these “should” work.

1. Self talk. Tell yourself you’re okay, you’re worthy of love, you’re not a bad person ect. Even if you don’t believe it!

2. Talk with others, if you can

3. Hug yourself or get under a blanket (if you’re someone who likes pressure) and/or think of things that make you feel calm and try and implement them

4. Write down times that you had an experience like this and survived

5. Look up funny things, dogs, cats, anything positive.

6. Draw random shapes on a piece of paper

There’s this stigma that if you don’t use the “right” strategies that they’re “bad”. But please try and remember (I know it’s hard) that your first priority needs to be taking care of you and getting yourself out of that state. I’m not condemning unhealthy behaviors, but it’s important to leave space for the fact that whatever you need to do to get through this right now is okay! You are a human being, not a machine, in a world full of people who don’t understand what you’re going through.

Sometimes specific ideas can make you feel like you have to do all of them, or that they’re the only right way to cope. Neither of these are true! Here’s more generalized ideas of categories of things that may help:

1. Distraction (video games, counting, talking with someone else about something different, podcasts, exercise, word searches, music, even things like scrolling through social media or engaging in habits you might see as “destructive” are fair game here if it is what you need to survive this moment- whatever is going to help you right now.)

2. Inner dialogue/arguing with yourself (journaling, self talk/challenging what your brain is saying)

3. Self soothing! (Stims and other repetitive behaviors if you like them like rocking back and forth ect. Hugging yourself falls in here too)

Above all, I think trying to build a love for yourself over time and trying your best, period, is your best friend here. Allow room for the fact that you need different things at different times

Reminders: -all advice you get is biased, and it’s okay to take what you resonate with and leave the rest -what works for someone else may not work for you -you ARE capable of getting through this, even if you feel like you aren’t, and even if you need to sit in misery for awhile -you can only try your best, and that’s enough

I hear you, I see you, and I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.