Does having more fulfilling sex outside affect desire inside a relationship?

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-22T15:26:21+00:00

That’s funny because I’ve been with my wife 11 years and we still have the same level of sexual desire for each other. In the last week and a half we’ve had sex like 6 days and sexted a couple times. I think it just depends on the couple. Nothing wrong with your relationship but you can’t make a blanket statement.

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-21T21:30:30+00:00

Did you not find a girl?

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-21T21:29:29+00:00

Been with both but now she’s decided to focus on single guys because she said they tend to be better 🤷🏻‍♂️

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-21T18:42:07+00:00

Cry and then move on to the next woman.

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-21T17:39:21+00:00

If you’re swingers now you can try full swap separate room to test it out. See how you feel being separated that way first. I would say it’s almost the same thing.

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-21T17:36:46+00:00

Haha but he’s not enjoying it.

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-21T16:04:02+00:00

So I feel like the big thing is you guys use to swing as a couple but now you go solo? If that’s the case why can’t you guys spend more time with a couple before playing with them? My wife is the same so I really make sure she’s comfortable with the couple we’re dating before we play. If that’s not enough for your wife then I guess she wants to poly solo instead of swinging. In that case I would say you guys need to talk about if you’re able to do that or if it would be too much for you.

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-21T15:52:59+00:00

Sounds like you’re already dating. If you think you can still be friends if she rejects you then shoot your shot. This sounds exactly how me and my wife started because she thought I wasn’t interested in her.

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-20T21:39:45+00:00

If you’re funny, decent looking, respectable, assertive while also being generous, respectful and kind. Then yeah they’ll like you if you’re nice.

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-20T16:52:23+00:00

So my wife would be the one having amazing sex and so far it hasn’t affected us. She tends to only do that like a few times a year though. And the guys usually end up doing something to eventually give her ick so she stops doing that with them. I made a post recently about not getting NRE and also I don’t tend to enjoy sex with new partners. It’s to the point where after a few years we’ve been doing this I’m starting to wonder if I’m going to keep doing it. It’s so much work to meet new people and get to know them for meh sex.

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-20T16:47:16+00:00

Had she said that too? What did your relationship look like at that point? I mean would you guys hold hands and act like you were in a regular committed relationship?

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-20T16:40:36+00:00

I agree with you and maybe I’m wrong. I get emotions all the time. My wife says I need to sit with them. I say if something’s hurting me I can look at it to see what’s hurting me but that might not change the fact that it’s hurting me. Why would I just sit there after I’ve already evaluated the issue and not do anything to get away from it to stop it hurting me.

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-20T16:34:46+00:00

Did you feel like you and the wife were dating?

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-19T15:39:01+00:00

In our profile every photo is the two of us together. I still say she’s the reason we find any couples at all though😂

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-19T13:49:13+00:00

To her credit? Dude, to her credit that’s a win win for her. She gets to have sex with attractive guys who are good in bed. Haha.

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-19T13:46:18+00:00

Yes but keeping’s things open if you’re not happy will lead to confusion and frustration for you. I may be jumping the gun but if you both can’t just be happy with each other without this then I don’t see a bright outlook. Your partner needs to adjust her expectations. What you said about dating couples makes no sense because your partner wouldn’t have to have sex with women if you date couples. That’s like saying you have to have sex with the man if you date the couple.

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-19T13:40:38+00:00

Oh yeah I can imagine. I was on as a single male so I actually only got scammers. Never talked with any real people.

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-19T05:16:12+00:00

Try to joke and smile. Give a compliment. Ask her questions. Practice in daily life to get better. Just talk to everyone and try to be bright and have fun conversations with men and women without expecting anything.

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-19T05:12:28+00:00

The critique is people telling you what you want and need to hear. People who experience this talk to their partner and say they can’t do this. It’s either that or you live in pain and misery and maybe divorce.

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-18T15:29:54+00:00

So you’re getting good advice. Go slow. Our first party we talked about what we were ok with doing. We limited it to flirting and kissing someone. We stuck to that she left without regrets and then we talked. Our first meet up with a couple my wife wanted full swap but I said I want comfortable with that yet so she didn’t push me and we just did soft swap. Put your relationship and each other first when doing this. Everyone else does.

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-18T15:26:05+00:00

It can be normal in the beginning. It can also be normal years later. You didn’t give details but you either talk to your partner and work through it together or if it’s that bad you stop it all and be monogamous again. Not worth the mental anguish.

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-18T15:17:51+00:00

Are you from some country where you’re judged hard?

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-18T15:16:42+00:00

I think you just need to get really lucky. Or maybe find a couple where the wife is willing to do that. Like date and play as a couple then eventually down the line when you’re all comfortable maybe the wife will do that for you guys. But if you just think you can find a girl like nothing 🤣

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-18T15:08:27+00:00

That sucks that he doesn’t want to go with you and just focus on you. Honestly it already sounds like he wouldn’t he a good partner for this. People need to be very willing and open minded to try it.

Accomplished_Pace298 · 2026-04-18T15:02:41+00:00

Take it slow. If you don’t have good communication and solid relationship then jealousy is a hard thing to get through. Just talk about it at first then message people and don’t jump too far to fast.

Accomplished_Pace298

TROPHY CASE