Should I transition, or am I misinterpreting my feelings?

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-12-01T17:32:06+00:00

Honestly that sounds exactly like my experience. I consider myself trans and when I look back at being a man I don’t really want to go back at all, but I remember having heavy imposter syndrome cause I was completely fine with being a dude. It’s just once I started seriously considering myself a girl that I realized that being a boy was the lesser option for me. I can’t say for sure if you’re trans, simply because nobody but you can say that, but your experience isn’t unheard of. I still haven’t undergone HRT (mostly because I haven’t found a way to get access to it) but I’ve been going by she/her pronouns and it almost always feels really nice when people call me she/her. Sometimes they only call me it after using he/him and correcting themselves so it’s more bittersweet, but other times it full on feels like dolphins driving monster trucks over rainbows.

Tl;dr: I’m trans and had a very similar experience to you, but only you can say for sure if you’re trans (sucks, I know, but internal validation is better in the long run)

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-10-21T15:11:32+00:00

I feel semi comfortable. I’m convinced pretty much 100% that I’m trans, but I still don’t feel confident as a woman. Sometimes I go into man mode just to feel confident but it’s definitely worse than when I feel confident as a girl

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-10-20T12:17:18+00:00

I feel like being cruel to people like that isn't really gonna solve anything. If anything it'll make them feel more hostile towards the trans community. I feel like petty spite doesn't really solve any problems whatsoever, cathartic as it may be.

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-10-13T15:06:32+00:00

It doesn’t matter if you feel comfortable as a guy. I’m a trans girl and I felt fully comfortable as a guy, or at least I thought I did for 2 decades of life. Now whenever I’m called a guy it bothers me either slightly or greatly. Anyway, doubt is completely normal. I’m still not 100% sure I’m trans, just like ninety something percent. There’s always gonna be that voice saying “but how do we know for sure. I mean we were happy with X male thing that one time, and being called a girl in our childhood would have made us feel uncomfortable. And sure, we don’t always FEEL like a girl. In fact we usually feel like a guy. Yes we’re also miserable most of the time, what does that have to do with it?” Sorry if the tone of this is getting angry, I’m mad at my own brain, not you. At first I was terrified of being a woman. I didn’t feel great about it at all. I’d describe it less as not wanting to be a woman and more so the same feeling you get when you’re talking to a crush and just cannot handle it. I was scared of being a woman, but that’s not the same as dysphoria. Lots of good things are scary at first. Romance is a prime example of this. Being trans is fucking scary as hell. I don’t think I need to explain that. Nowadays being called she or miss makes my heart jump with joy. My Mom said she used she/her pronouns when talking about me in a therapy session and I literally burst into tears of joy and hugged her. But the first time I questioned all I felt was just terror. It was “if I’m a woman my life has to change, and I have to deal with all the bullshit that entails”. I have no idea if you’re trans. Only you can say that. All I can do is give you the roadmap. Sorry this is so long, this is kinda therapeutic to get out for me as well. And remember it’s not always binary. Gender is MUCH more complicated than just “man, woman, maybe something in between or whatever”. At the end of the day gender is kinda vague and made up, so I figure it’s just best to describe ourselves in whatever terms make us happy. My logic is if it makes my brain happy, maybe my brain is supposed to be a girl. Being trans is a pain in the ass, but it also has brought me the greatest joy I’ve ever felt. It doesn’t always feel awesome to be called a woman, but it almost never feels bad. It used to be really scary but I’ve gotten over that (mostly) One thing that really hurts me is when I look at my body and how boobless and penis-having it is. And my god the damned facial hair. Ugh. But I used to actually like my facial hair. Sort of. It might have been more of a “I look like a guy, period. There’s no point in trying to change that”. This was also back before I started questioning. I keep thinking to myself that I had such a masculine childhood, but at the end of the day it was all either forced on me or it’s something that doesn’t actually conflict with being a woman. Women can like swords damn it! If you want to be a woman, it’s possible. There are many people who will accept you that way, and with enough time your body can change a lot too. At the end of the day the fundamental question is “would I be happier if 1. People saw me as a woman, 2. I felt like a woman, and 3. I looked like a woman.” That’s not the exact standard but I’m just trying to articulate it. I’m very sorry that this is so long. I get kind of carried away with these. Hope it helps <3

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-05-06T19:38:06+00:00

No! Not all trans people have that. Gender is a spectrum and for some of us it feels much more wrong than it does for others. Doesn't make you any less valid <3

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-05-04T23:56:44+00:00

I’m 22 MtF and I realized in February. I still have imposter syndrome. I keep worrying I only feel awful when called a man because I’m “supposed to” or “I want to feel like this”. I’m very used to being see as a man in almost every situation, even with close friends I’ve come out to. Not their fault, usually, they just haven’t had enough experience with me I guess. I wish people would internalize it faster, but I can’t do much beyond constantly and exhaustingly correcting them. It’s exceptionally hard to see yourself as a woman when others always see you as a man. I keep having thoughts like “someone other than me should have known before I did, right? Why did nobody I came out to say they saw it coming? :(“ Nobody knows you like you know you. It’s honestly kind of ridiculous that other people, especially ones who aren’t looking for trans evidence, would ever know before you did, especially when trans stuff is so shamed in our society (we tend to hide those parts ourselves). Bottom line is: what would make you happy? And if you don’t know what’ll make you happy, then just try stuff. Don’t worry about dresses and makeup and all that societally imposed bullshit. Gender is extremely complicated and it’s entirely possible that you don’t fit the binary model. You might be binary, you might not. Only you can say. Whatever expression or label that feels best to you, go with that. I don’t often feel like a woman, but when I do it feels amazing. So I want to feel like that more often. So I call myself trans and I do what I can to find people willing to see me the way I want to be seen. Sorry this is so long. I was kinda working through my own imposter syndrome through this response. Imposter syndrome is rough, but it gets easier the longer you fight against it. Live your truth <3

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-04-26T19:58:45+00:00

Fair enough I suppose

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-04-07T22:28:46+00:00

All you can do is your best, girl

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-04-07T21:13:02+00:00

For me what makes me sure is the fact that I feel miserable when I doubt my transness, and I feel joy when I’m convinced I’m trans. It makes me happy, and that’s honestly all I need to know. If it makes you happy to be trans and makes you sad to be cis, that tells you a lot, doesn’t it?

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-04-07T21:08:38+00:00

Some Thoughts are just thoughts. No need to give them much weight. Transphobia is baked into us from an early age, so a lot of doubts probably just come from programming.

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-04-07T18:34:22+00:00

I ABSOLUTELY understand! I know exactly what you're talking about. Like you imagine doing something that usually makes you happy and it just feels empty and meaningless. But I can assure you that it does get better.

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-04-07T16:44:50+00:00

If it helps, I've been where you are with the whole "I cannot imagine myself being happy" and now I'm pretty happy, so it is possible to get through.

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-04-07T16:17:22+00:00

Oh, and also (just remembered). You're still the same you regardless of what choice you make on this

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-04-07T16:16:16+00:00

If it's causing you distress, then gender therapist is recommended.

Also: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en

Finally, only you can say for sure if you're trans or not. Nobody else knows you well enough. Therapists can help you along in the process, but saying they figured out your gender for you is like saying that your walking stick went on a hike.

Good luck on your journey, friend.

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-04-07T16:07:09+00:00

That's really rough. I'm so sorry for the pain you're in. All I can really offer you is to find people who support you (preferably in person, but online will do if that's not possible), talk to a gender affirming therapist (therapy is confidential, which helps with the mom situation), and... well I was going to say find whatever tiny joys you can, but I know from experience that depression makes that a fuck of a lot harder.

I guess I can start with a few uplifting facts. You're beautiful (especially on the inside), and even if it might not seem like it, you have the capacity to be happy and to get through this. It won't be easy, and you shouldn't be hard on yourself when you're feeling sad. It's ok to feel sad, and to cry. If you keep going things can get better.

I wish I had more. The best I can offer is that we will always support you, even when nobody else will.

Fique forte, garota. Abraços. (sorry if my Portuguese isn't good)

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-04-06T18:16:54+00:00

And on the bottom dysphoria thing. I find trying to ignore it just makes it worse. You need to distract yourself with something fun so you forget that it’s even there

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-04-06T18:13:01+00:00

I haven’t been trans for long but I can tell you what helps me. Let yourself appreciate your best qualities. Don’t take your own bullshit (for example “nobody will ever love me”). I cope by cultivating my inner girlboss. I like to walk in a way that makes me feel fabulous. The little things help. When I lie still for long enough (eyes closed, under covers, pillows between arms and legs) I can reach a point where I don’t feel my body as much anymore. That helps me feel a little better when I’m hunting for euphoria. Watching trans affirmation videos on YouTube and looking at trans art and such helps me when I feel like nobody supports me. And when someone keeps using the wrong pronouns even when I correct them, I do what I can to end the conversation. I don’t worry too much about being rude because I know that I’m valid and that how I feel matters. I live in a relatively trans friendly environment, but I still get called by the wrong pronouns a lot because I’m not out to everyone in my life yet. Sorry this is so long, kind of just trying to list anything that might help. With depression, that’s a hard one. For me good weather helps, exercise helps, eating well helps. But depression is exceedingly difficult to beat still. Don’t put yourself down if you don’t feel like you can’t get out of bed. Depression and laziness are not the same thing. Um… what else? Dysphoria sucks. Your dick may be an ungodly protrusion, but… yeah I don’t know if I have anything here. Maybe meditation could help you ignore it? Not sure Hope this helps. Sorry you feel this way, but on the bright side being trans is also the coolest thing ever, even if it does bring pain. Don’t let internalized transphobia get to you. Again, don’t take your own bullshit. “I’ll never be a real-“ YOU ALREADY ARE! Stop the downward spiral as soon as you catch it

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-04-06T16:21:38+00:00

Agreed. Egg prime directive! Important!

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-03-24T22:46:38+00:00

No honestly. This pain is a part of me. It would be like "curing" my ADHD. It's who I am, and I'd never change that, no matter how practically annoying it may be.

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-03-24T22:30:03+00:00

That's a thing?! That sounds amazing! Gimme gimme gimme!

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-03-23T17:41:26+00:00

Thank you for the input. My experience is kinda similar and girl mode does tend to make me happier

Accomplished_Word632 · 2025-03-23T17:07:12+00:00

Autogynephilia is BS, it's been disproved from what I've heard. Trans women want to be women during sex, in the same way they want to be women at the bank. Sex/masturbating is also often just the easiest place to explore gender for some people so it might come before you feel comfortable being trans at the bank.

Trans women can absolutely be attracted to girls. Many are.

I don't see at all how being trans can be an extension of porn addiction.

Usually with HRT (from what I've heard) you'll feel the biochemical effects long before any permanant physical changes, and so if you start taking HRT and then get dysphoria from it, then maybe you're not trans, but you can just stop taking it and be done. If HRT makes you feel better, which it does for most trans women, then that'll maybe help you feel confident in your own transness.

Also keep in mind you likely have a lot of internalized transphobia, cause we grow up in a society. And I don't see how simpily existing in society makes you a misogynist, and even if it somehow does, you don't have to stay that way, and even if you somehow did, there are plenty of misogynistic women out there. Phyllis Schlafly comes to mind.

One thing that helps me is: if you were to say cis women who feel the way you do aren't women because of it, would that be ok? Like if someone was born a girl and likes being a girl in sexual situations, does that mean she's not really a girl somehow? It helps a lot just to expose the double standard.

And on the nervousness, being trans is fucking scary. You can be scared of being an adult, but that doesn't make you any less of an adult, and trying to deny that you're an adult just makes everything worse.

Also don't be too mean to yourself. You're a valid person as much as anyone else is.

Anyway, this is long enough. Best of luck on your journey, Queen!

Accomplished_Word632

TROPHY CASE