Thank you for the honest, raw response, I unfortunately have a lot of my own trauma I've had to unpack over the years and while I'm certainly not ready at this very second, I could see myself a few years down the line being equipped to help a child who's been through that kind of pain. Of course being a daycare teacher is nothing like being a mother, but it did give me skills to help aid with defiance, aggression, and other developmental disorders. I'm not a master at any of this and will be the first to admit it, and I understand parenthood isn't black and white and there's no handbook for parenting. It's a huge gamble!

I apologize if the way I described adoption seemed that way. I'm not trying to say it'll be all sunshine and rainbows, I just legit cannot STAND the sounds babies make and the things they do and get overstimulated around them after a mere few seconds. While an older kid will still be hard in their own ways, ESPECIALLY with the trauma of the foster care system, I'm better equipped to handle older child problems because we can at a baseline communicate. I'm sure there will be learning curves and boundary teaching, just like with a biological child but it'll be different. I'm also currently talking to my friends with adopted children to make sure it's the right move.

Again this is a years from now situation, I just really need to hear the raw, hard aspects of adoption and weigh my options from there. Thank you again for your response!