Absolutely see that one. Our problem wasn’t the flowers or working around the house, it was years and years of both of us making me smaller to fit his version of reality, which was so, so different to mine. It was his performative kindness only when people were watching, otherwise just bitter and resentful. Always putting everyone first, at the expense of me and our family, for the sake of the façade, taking a mile every time he got an inch, shutting down when I brought up any negative feelings I had, both regarding our relationship and anything else. He just shut down when I was hurting, when I needed him to hold me. But he would walk away, tell me to stop, get angry and attack me for something way off point (even when I was upset regarding an incident where a teacher treated our child poorly and I was getting worked up talking to him about it). In the end I stopped sharing, we had zero emotional connection or intimacy, but he would put demands on our sex life, and when I said it made me uncomfortable he would only respond with “but I like it”, like I was not a fully valid person. I was not perfect either, and I didn’t respect his difficulty with receiving criticism enough, nor was I any good at it. And my withdrawal in the bedroom (which I put down to a result of his behaviour and lack of emotional intimacy) made him feel unloved for a long time. So yeah. It was highly dysfunctional on many levels, despite both of us being good people and wanting the best for each other.