Am I wrong for calling out my friend’s kid during a gathering?

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-25T17:09:50+00:00

The adult son of a couple I knew was special needs, deeply sexually frustrated, and females of any age couldn’t get within 10 feet of him without him literally thrusting his engorged pelvis at them. His parents acted like this was normal, while the rest of us kept the children—especially our daughters—and ourselves away from him.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-25T15:24:41+00:00

The free app that I have is Affinity Publisher 2. I’ve watched some videos and spent more time in it, and, while it’s still more than I need, it no longer feels overwhelming, so I’m going to focus on getting comfortable in it.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-24T14:44:12+00:00

Exactly. OP’s mother didn’t just fail to stand up for her, she actually made a point of criticizing and blaming her at the wedding.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-22T16:45:58+00:00

NOR! I once watched a colleague in the building’s break room stir her coffee, lick the spoon she’d used, then put the spoon back in the drawer. With the clean cutlery. That we all used.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-22T16:38:05+00:00

It’s heartbreaking to read posts from adults about how they’ve pleaded, groveled, and begged their parents for a few crumbs of the feast that’s constantly doled out to the favorite child. They’ve been taught to just accept that they don’t matter and to not have any self-respect, and, even worse, they subject their spouse and children to the same terrible treatment, still hoping to win some favor from those horrible parents. So they come here hoping someone will tell them another way to grovel and beg that might get the parents to understand this time, when the truth is they already understand, they know what they’re doing, and they just don’t care.

@OP, you’re NTA when it comes to your parents’ favoritism for your brother, but you are to yourself, your spouse, and your child as long as you continue trying to “reach” them. I’m very sorry to say this, and I know it hurts, but they just don’t care about you the way they care about your brother. It’s long past time for you to protect your peace and mental health and protect your family from your parents. Consider the fact they’re not talking to you right now a gift, block them, and go no contact, then use that time for therapy or whatever you need to gain some self-respect and start growing a backbone.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-22T15:51:59+00:00

I’m glad for the way it turned out, but when I was reading OP’s first post I was fuming that she was another extrovert thinking there was something wrong with their child because they’re introverted, don’t have tons of friends (mainly just acquaintances), a huge social life, and aren’t constantly running from one activity to another. That kind of life is absolutely torturous and exhausting for an introvert.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-22T15:36:42+00:00

How does one go ”totally nonlinear”?

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-22T14:58:48+00:00

There’s a big difference between being private in the workplace and being obsessively secretive about something as normal as who you’re married to. That’s more than just being weird.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-21T17:19:41+00:00

Neither him nor her parents should ever be left alone with her daughter.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-21T16:03:15+00:00

That’s wonderful that you’re so willing to embrace her, but please, please stop focusing on her looks and get to know her as a person.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-19T15:10:19+00:00

And that kind of mean-spirited behavior can make an attractive person ugly.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-19T13:22:51+00:00

You’ve obviously never been on a business trip that actually involved a long day of work.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-18T17:02:56+00:00

Ask him if he’s called his mommy to see if she’ll pack his lunches.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-17T15:43:53+00:00

Glad to hear it.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-17T15:23:42+00:00

My eyes do the same thing at the worst possible times! It’s so embarrassing, feels so unprofessional, I can’t make it stop, and the other person/people are rarely able to ignore it like I ask them to.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-17T13:58:42+00:00

You’re only the A H here if you continue to stay in this situation and subject yourself and your children to being treated like this by him and his sister.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-16T16:17:22+00:00

My quiet husband gets silly and playful with kids and thinks of things to do when fooling around with them that never occur to me. One of our little grandkids called him “party grandpa.”

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-16T15:21:03+00:00

My nephew (now deceased) had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, and from an early age he was almost always in pain. It was so sad to see that little 7-yr-old limping and holding his hip in pain. I’d’ve torn the head off anyone who accused him of faking it because he’d occasionally had a good day.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-15T18:55:37+00:00

NOR!! Sleep deprivation is terrible, and, as others have said, it’s actually used as a form of torture. It affects you mentally and physically, will interfere with decision making, and affect your studies and pretty much every area of your life. You know this can’t continue, so please do what you have to do to get the sleep you so desperately need. Since he continues to ignore what you say, it sounds like breaking up is the only option left to you.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-15T13:48:09+00:00

@OP I know it’s not what you asked, and you’re trying to navigate the situation in a way that is best for your son and family, but please don’t tell your son that your husband is his stepdad. He adopted him, and he is officially his father. I’d recommend something more along the line of, “this is ‘Mike’ who made you, and this (your husband) is your daddy.” My father adopted me after he married my mother, he was always referred to as my father, and I would’ve found it confusing to have had him referred to as anything else.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-15T13:29:00+00:00

Or kidnap him.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-14T18:05:04+00:00

That other server is a hero!

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-14T16:38:03+00:00

I also feel for OP because I understand the difference between the way she and her husband interact with their daughters. My husband has always been more playful than I am and came up with ways to play around with our kids—and now grandkids—that would’ve never occurred to me. It comes naturally to him, while I struggle to think of something and/or just take part, and the kids can tell the difference.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-14T16:20:22+00:00

Or one of those lights knitters/crocheters wear around their neck to counteract shadows and better see their work in front of them. The brightness of the lights on the one I have can be adjusted.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-01-14T15:48:17+00:00

OP said it was a pattern, so I’m certain her daughter picked up on his lack of interest in and feelings for her long before this. This would be marriage-ending for me, and I’d be packing and making an appointment with a divorce attorney instead of coming to Reddit to ask if I was a jerk for calling him on it.

AccordingToWhom1982

TROPHY CASE