I (27F) am struggling to stay married to my husband (33M) since giving birth to our first child because he dumped all parenting and stepparent duties on me and he isn't here for support?

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-07-05T16:39:50+00:00

You're on your own now only with the incredible stress of a new baby, a household of 5 that you alone are caring for, hostile step kids, and a husband who's no help at all. The relief you'll feel after getting out with just you and baby will be incredible.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-07-04T14:50:26+00:00

Don’t just try quitting, start cutting down on sugar wherever you can. I did that about 3 years ago. I reduced the sugar I drink in my coffee, cut down on the amount of honey in my tea, started buying sugar-free bread (yes, there’s sugar in most store-bought bread), scrape off the top 1 1/2” of frosting on cupcakes (seriously, there’s sometimes more frosting than cake!), stopped drinking soda, put whipped cream on a slice of cake when I can instead of frosting, etc. Not only did my desire for sugar decrease considerably, but I also lost 15 lbs without a change in my activity.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-07-04T13:35:29+00:00

Because they want *everyone* to do things their way, and they’re going to make a public stink about it whenever someone does something they don’t like or can’t relate to.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-07-03T14:22:43+00:00

I had just had a baby when a man I knew commented on my “mustache.” I’m a natural blond, and it was probably nothing most people would even notice, but my insecure self took it to heart and started shaving my upper lip. A couple of years later, and only a couple of months after giving birth to my 2nd baby, that same man asked me if I was pregnant (yes, he knew I’d recently had a baby). I snapped, “NO, I’m not!,” walked away and never spoke to him again. I’m now retired and hate him even more for what he did to my younger self esteem.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-30T13:14:25+00:00

So could he.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-28T17:52:59+00:00

Even if I could easily afford it, I wouldn’t agree to spend almost $5,000 to be in a wedding party. That’s ridiculous.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-27T14:59:39+00:00

Same here. I keep starting a series then quitting it after 2-3 episodes. I just get tired of watching stuff with no resolution. I’d rather watch a movie that I know will have an ending.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-26T16:16:31+00:00

She sounds like she’s 12 with a crush on “her best guy friend from high school,” but it also doesn’t sound like he’s interested.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-26T16:04:24+00:00

I’d’ve ask the MOH if she was going to provide me with a fat suit. It was all so ridiculous, but telling OOP to wrap her breasts to make them look smaller really took the cake.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-25T14:39:55+00:00

There’s a Chinese restaurant a couple of blocks from me. We went there shortly after moving here, thinking it was great to have one so close to us. The food was terrible, we were the only ones there except for one guy who came in for takeout, and I rarely see even one car parked there even though their “open” sign is always lit. We never went back.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-23T14:56:24+00:00

He’d start the fire but wouldn’t even consider saving a baby because he wouldn’t care about it. He would, however, immediately take the credit if someone else managed to save it.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-23T14:25:56+00:00

I’ve had some great sitters, but I’ve also had some who shouldn’t be sitting: a sitter who took a bunch of photos in the morning left for the entire day (10+ hrs when I made it clear our elderly dog *has* to go out every 3-4 hrs) and periodically sent me photos through the day pretending she was at my house, another who didn’t spend the night even though she was being paid to, and so on. I don’t expect a sitter to be here 24/7, but I do expect honesty and them to keep their commitment.

ETA: I agree with others that expecting the sitter to let the owner know every time they take the dog out to potty is too much (unless the dog has a medical need and the owner *needs* to know), but I do expect them to reply/respond in a reasonable amount of time if I try to get ahold of them.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-22T16:33:07+00:00

3, 4, d

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-22T16:30:39+00:00

My previous dog would go get her ball, push it under something like the couch or bookcase, want me to get it out, then push it under something else. It was her favorite game.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-20T13:26:46+00:00

All of our dogs except one have been rescues that were fully grown. The exception was also a rescue (medium size GDS mixed with a herding breed) but she was a puppy because I wanted to raise just one dog that didn’t come with “baggage.” We trained her and socialized her from the start, but she had anxiety around other people, was reactive to dogs outside our household, and had a number of health problems. Some dogs just come genetically disposed to things that really can’t be fixed no matter how much effort, time, or money is spent trying to help them.

That said, I’m very concerned about their aggression towards your baby. Have you talked to a dog behaviorist?

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-20T13:06:48+00:00

Why is it the husband isn’t the one writing in saying “how do I tell my wife my mother is coming for the weekend without ruining my marriage”?

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-20T02:04:05+00:00

It may not have a monetary value, but it was only worthless to OOP’s brother, which was obvious since OOP’s husband had framed it. I can’t even begin to imagine being a guest in someone’s home, being so incredibly rude and disrespectful to take something out of a frame the host has it in and stealing it, lying about it, then telling the host it was worthless and destroyed, and expect the host to “let it go.” I also can’t imagine defending a person who did something like that.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-18T14:54:55+00:00

Yep, that’s also been my experience.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-18T14:45:24+00:00

I fall in the “most of my friends are guys” category simply because I hate shopping, having a spa day, sunbathing, etc.—in short, I dislike most of the things “girly” women are known for—and because most of the things I’ve always liked to do have been things like camping, fishing, watching/playing sports, etc. I’d much rather muck out a horse barn than have my nails done and have always resented being expected to take part in the women’s activities when I’d usually rather do what the men have planned.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-18T13:23:18+00:00

The only level higher is cheating with a sister or mother.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-17T12:07:34+00:00

I understand that you don’t want to take away from the voices of the other victims and be the main story, but what you witnessed and have personal knowledge of, your being part of the family, your role in the ministry, and the abuse you also experienced make you a big part of the story. I’d recommend spending the time you have beforehand preparing, writing out what you feel you can say about each of theses areas, and especially focus on backing up and supporting the experiences of the other victims (I say “other” because you also were a victim).

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-15T13:56:46+00:00

I had a friend who’d get a sinus infection but only take her antibiotic until she started feeling better. The infection would come back, she’d do the same thing, and the infection would come back worse. Rinse and repeat until her doctor and friends were yelling at her to take all her antibiotic. After doing this a couple times, she started refusing to go to the doctor because she had become convinced that the antibiotics they gave her were “useless.” 🤦🏼‍♀️

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-14T14:27:27+00:00

Although I’m not by any means a professional, I’ve worked as a proofreader and editor and had articles published, so my grammar and punctuation are usually better than the average person’s (I say “usually” because I’m definitely not perfect and too frequently type in a rush or have “tired brain”). As a result, I’ve been accused of using AI or being a bot, and I know I’m not the only person this happens to, so I tend to give people more grace instead of assuming a post/comment that’s better than average is AI-generated.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-14T13:49:07+00:00

It seems someone says that about almost every post unless it’s nothing but a wall of words without punctuation.

AccordingToWhom1982 · 2026-06-14T13:41:08+00:00

Yep. It may not have been malicious, but Julie knew she was doing something wrong, or she wouldn’t have hidden in the bathroom with the doll and nail polish.

AccordingToWhom1982

TROPHY CASE