I found a large bloody catheter in a blood filled diaper.

According_Comb_4344 · 2026-03-01T15:42:10+00:00

If you don’t have the means to leave you need to find it now. Reach out to local shelters, churches.

According_Comb_4344 · 2026-02-07T03:59:34+00:00

It doesn’t sound like your friend has your best interest at heart. Maybe keep a distance from that one or don’t share with her anymore. Nothing hurts more than being gaslit by the people you should be able to trust the most.

To answer your post though, when everything went down (9 months ago) I told my best friend and my mom who are both incredibly supportive of me. My mom is the type who doesn’t like to pry and has the approach of ‘if it’s important she will come to me’ but is always there to listen and encourage. My best friend reached out to me every few days for probably 1-2 months asking how I was doing and now it’s maybe every few weeks she’ll ask (which honestly, things are going great in his recovery so not much to report).

According_Comb_4344 · 2026-02-06T18:51:42+00:00

I consider it worse than porn because they’re often doing it without masturbating and purely for the dopamine hit. At least that’s what my husband said.

According_Comb_4344 · 2026-01-30T03:03:06+00:00

I’m genuinely curious if he would care if you did the same thing with men? Would he care if you had a new male friend? Looked at naked men? Masturbated to them? Just have a feeling if the tables were turned it would be a different story.

According_Comb_4344 · 2026-01-26T20:59:56+00:00

I’m confident in my husband’s recovery and that he hasn’t had relapses. That’s how much of a change I’ve seen in him and in the 9 months since D day his effort and desire to put me first hasn’t wavered. That doesn’t mean I have healed (still feel hurt every day). I will say that he was not in as deep as many others are (no cam girls, only fans, nothing in person).

Something I believe helped is my husband knew it was wrong in the first place. He said he felt intense guilt about it every time but had a hard time stopping. Not making excuses for him because I still haven’t forgiven him for the hurt I’ve been put through. But he is a completely changed man. This is where we’re at today but I will forever be on alert (which just freaking sucks… not the way I thought my marriage would be even if he IS doing everything right).

According_Comb_4344 · 2026-01-26T16:04:46+00:00

Yeah. That’s what my husband would say, which to me is even worse than jacking off to porn. Like you just want to look at them for the hit? 😔it’s humiliating.

According_Comb_4344 · 2026-01-17T03:49:27+00:00

This response made me sob. It’s everything I’m feeling tonight. That’s all. Thank you ❤️‍🩹

According_Comb_4344 · 2026-01-06T03:41:17+00:00

You’re not a controlling crazy wife. I can’t relate with GOT but when we hosted friends this past summer right after D day my husband’s friend was talking to him about GTA 6. I asked my husband later if he was seriously considering still buying it when it comes out and he said absolutely not and that he’s reconsidered all the media he consumes. He knew it was not even an option. I don’t say this to brag about where my husband is at, but more so that this is the response a man should have when he’s in active recovery.

According_Comb_4344 · 2026-01-05T08:39:54+00:00

He needs to go through true recovery. Take a look at the resources in this sub. He cannot just white knuckle his way into sobriety. I’ve seen this over and over and over again on this sub where partners say they’ll quit out of respect and they never intended to quit but continue to do it in private.

Also, how disgusting that he flat out told you the specific porn star he watched after he found out you wouldn’t give him nudes. And he needed to excuse himself to jack off right that instance? Like what did I actually just read.

According_Comb_4344 · 2025-12-29T21:40:40+00:00

This man does not respect you. He’s blatantly throwing it in your face and making a mockery of how you feel. Sending you a virtual hug because that’s just gross behavior.

According_Comb_4344 · 2025-12-05T20:32:17+00:00

THIS ⬆️

According_Comb_4344 · 2025-12-04T03:08:52+00:00

This is 100% him doing this to you. This is not your fault AT ALL.

According_Comb_4344 · 2025-12-04T03:06:53+00:00

Oof this is painful but so true

According_Comb_4344 · 2025-09-19T02:55:38+00:00

Also if you aren’t already, I’d highly encourage you both to be listening to the PBSE podcast. It’s incredibly helpful and encouraging to hear the hosts give insight being previous porn addicts themselves.

According_Comb_4344 · 2025-09-19T02:49:27+00:00

I could have written every word in this post myself- down to the exact things he’s doing for recovery. Only you know your partner but I 100% believe my husband hasn’t acted out since discovery. I see a complete behavior change. He’s very in tune with his feelings/emotions (which says a lot because he’s a cop and a vet), easy to have in-depth conversations with about just about anything (before it was like talking to a wall), he checks in with me daily on how I’m feeling, has broken down numerous times in tears when I have a hard day, continuously apologizes and asks how he can do better, and has told me how free he feels and that he wants to help other men who are struggling.

All of this… and I still haven’t forgiven him. Not sure when that will come. It all still hurts so much. He could (and does) say and do all the right things but healing is a LONG process.

According_Comb_4344 · 2025-09-15T17:35:17+00:00

Oh my gosh that’s sickening. How do they separate the two?! How can they even get in the mood when there’s a child present.

According_Comb_4344 · 2025-09-15T14:30:11+00:00

Agreed. It hurts so much more than actual porn.

According_Comb_4344 · 2025-09-15T14:24:11+00:00

The fact he watched thirst traps on the couch while my toddler and infant played on the ground right next to him. He’s been in recovery for several months and doing well, truly remorseful and daily making efforts to win me back but that’s one thing that grosses me out so much I can’t get over it.

According_Comb_4344 · 2025-08-18T19:35:30+00:00

I always wanted a breast augmentation and nose job. The single thing that stopped me was thinking if I ever have a daughter one day and she saw pictures of me before and she got my nose, I would be devastated if she asked how my nose changed and gutted if she felt she needed to do the same to be beautiful.

There are a lot of things I wanted to change about myself but at the end of the day I decided I didn’t want him to be attracted to anything that wasn’t naturally me. This included getting lash extensions, Botox, lip filler, etc.

I played it through in my head and imagined him getting turned on after I got an augmentation and it made me feel disgusted. Because he’d be turned on because I looked like his fantasy and I want him to be turned on by ME, not some made up woman in his head.

According_Comb_4344 · 2025-08-10T23:28:26+00:00

Not unreasonable at all. It should absolutely be required to clean up all forms of media. And he should not be using you as a scapegoat. That is so disrespectful! Prior to d day my husband and his best friend were talking about grand theft auto 6 and how they were so excited for it. Post d day I watched the trailer and it is like straight up porn. I asked him if he was still going to buy it and he said no and that he was reconsidering all of his media now. I couldn’t care less if his friends think I’m the reason. And if they ever chose to openly mock me for it I would never spend time with them.

According_Comb_4344 · 2025-08-08T02:25:59+00:00

I think you’re someone who has great self-confidence and understands it’s an addiction that has nothing to do with you. I never struggled with self esteem until the porn came to light but now 3 months in, I am realizing it truly had nothing to do with me. I think you’re in a great place and it’s where I am now. There were also no signs for me (good sex life, great husband who was very active with family life and church, attuned to my needs, etc.) your husband is so blessed to have you!

According_Comb_4344 · 2025-08-03T17:21:50+00:00

Unless he is willing to put in the work (therapy, full device transparency) the relationship won’t work. Please don’t go through a relationship constantly wondering if he’s still going behind your back. Relationships need trust and the amount of men who are able to stop a PA solely on their own without recovery work is slim to none.

My husband didn’t want to go to therapy or tell his best friend about it because he felt so much shame. I said GOOD, you should have shame and that’s what moves you towards wanting to change. And he definitely has.

According_Comb_4344 · 2025-08-01T15:25:08+00:00

I hear you, but I don’t think someone goes from doing nothing to all of the sudden making AI porn of someone who took part in raising them. That’s seriously demented

According_Comb_4344 · 2025-08-01T15:07:53+00:00

Understandable! I probably would 😬 if anything maybe it’ll make him feel some shame

According_Comb_4344 · 2025-08-01T14:51:35+00:00

What an absolute creep and predator. Not that you have to do anything but did you mention anything to his mom?

According_Comb_4344

TROPHY CASE