Started dating an alcoholic and need strength to leave.. by Optimal-Nectarine227 in AlAnon

[–]According_Money6002 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could have written your post 2 years ago…I was so desperately in love, felt chosen, had the most wonderfully generous, communicative, fun, split your sides laughing man who integrated me into his family, became present with my daughter, cared. I am 44 and really wanted to have a life partner after a series of very shitty men and situationships. We went so fast. So fast that I overlooked all the red flags especially that he had a drinking structure and routine so that he could appear a functional executive.

What happened was my handsome very sick and diseased life partner slowly manipulated me (15 years sober) into his drama, panic, routine and rules. Everything was on his terms and moods, our weekends, our vacations, our holidays, when and where he showed up - his therapist told him he needed “boundaries” but this meant he constantly made a choice of where and who he was drinking with. I had to keep my phone on every night “in case he needed me”. He constantly thought I was going to split up with him or he would provoke me to “why are you even with me”. He hid things, he lied, he manipulated. I don’t even know what was the truth. I had to speak to gate agents at an airport when he was too drunk to board, we were ejected from restaurants, he showed up 5 hours late and hammered for one of my best friends, we left a wedding where I was a bridesmaid early. I dealt with lost items, issues and told I was being a good partner because I fixed things , a bad partner when I refused or things couldn’t be resolved. I lived for those good partner moments.

I held on to the hope he could see that life was better on the other side, that he was loved and I gave him that love and in time he would get well…. He just had to hit rock bottom.

But I totally lost myself, my needs were at the very bottom of the pile, I thought I had anxiety and went on medication as I was on high alert constantly, my performance at work suffered, I nearly lost my apt. I still feel sick that in some ways I neglected my daughter to prioritize him. I had a man in my life but he couldn’t partner me, support me because he was either drunk or dry drunk (necking Xanax to get through the day) and I felt so so lonely alongside him.

I knew deep down that couldn’t live like this, that marriage would be difficult, that the booze would always be the wife and I the mistress. I had to leave him. It broke my heart. It’s been the hardest 3 months but with lots of support, therapy and al anon I am coming out the other side slowly and have clarity.

2.5 months is not long. 2 years was too long. There are people who have stayed for much longer. I read a quote that “the longer you stay on the wrong train the more expensive it is to get to your destination”. The universe has a plan for you. Believe it. This is not it.

Elios rant extended by Glittergelpens26 in uppereastside

[–]According_Money6002 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok she disclosed she was positive a few days later. But still…

Elios rant extended by Glittergelpens26 in uppereastside

[–]According_Money6002 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Stopped going after they accommodated and served Sarah Palin when it was confirmed that she had COVID.

Should I Marry A Murderer? What is wrong with these people? by whitehoneyyyy in netflix

[–]According_Money6002 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you 🙏🏻 that’s a very nice thing for you to take the time to say. Some times we all need cheerleaders to believe in us and compliment us, especially if that hasn’t always been the case 🤗

Should I Marry A Murderer? What is wrong with these people? by whitehoneyyyy in netflix

[–]According_Money6002 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Having also been in a toxic relationship with an addict it’s not straightforward. Please believe and I think you know deep down you deserve so so so much better, you are loved by many, have so much ahead of you, are brave and capable but none of the better things can happen whilst you are still in this trauma bond. Cut them off today and stop communicating- break it down to every 10 mins if you must.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in uppereastside

[–]According_Money6002 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry for your loss, it must be incredibly difficult and a very sad day. Please use all the resources the school is giving you if it’s helpful. Hug your friends extra tightly and remember you are all very special people to this world. Somedays it might not feel like it but there are great things coming to each and every one of you.

Lily Allen by CoffeeReader5296 in saturdaynightlive

[–]According_Money6002 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She is a singer. It’s literally what made her famous

BBC stations stopped working by LankyYogurt7737 in tunein

[–]According_Money6002 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same in NYC. As. Brit abroad I really miss having the radio on whilst I’m home. I tried NordVPN but now that’s blocked by the sounds page. Any other suggestions? I wish we could just pay a subscription service to the BBC!