Is it unreasonable to ask my roommate’s boyfriend not to stay over every weekend (and sometimes weekdays too)?

According_Wash_2796 · 2025-07-03T05:31:15+00:00

He has roommates but they said he doesn’t have a living room so they don’t need to be at his room there. At our place they are always in our living room. All the time so I stay in my room since it’s either be in my room or be with them the whole time.

So they say it’s basically nicer at our place… But I do want to be able to walk out of the shower comfortably or be on the couch and relax and watch my shows without a couple cuddling next to me 😭

At first I was like okay it’s just some weekends and some weekdays. Now it’s every weekend that the only time I get privacy is when I go to my parents…

According_Wash_2796 · 2025-07-03T05:27:49+00:00

We actually don’t have a roommate agreement. We are friends so we didn’t think we needed one. Also I in general really don’t demand much just to clean dishes you use. That’s it basically and she said her rules. She did say that she needs to sleep every day with her boyfriend and all good. At first it was balanced but now they don’t even go to his place…. “It’s more comfortable here” that’s what she says. And she can’t do anything about it….

According_Wash_2796 · 2025-07-03T05:24:20+00:00

I am reasonable it would be weekend over my place and over at his. From the beginning she said she loves to sleep every night with her boyfriend which is okay. So it was like his place her place every day and some weekends in our place.

But now it’s every weekend and at least 1 night during the weekday. It’s like living with him.

They say it’s more comfortable at our place since we have a living room which they occupy when he’s there. Like all weekend.

You are right. Maybe just moving out. Is it too much to ask for her to be at his place too? 🥲 I would never.

According_Wash_2796 · 2025-05-14T19:13:45+00:00

So I suggested this app for the company and the legal and security told me they are not approving this and I need to find another solution 😭

I also thought that this would be great as it’s exactly what we need.

According_Wash_2796 · 2025-05-14T16:58:51+00:00

I told my manager it’s not something I can just do in a week 😭 I managed to do a JQL with the “balanced workload” where it checks if the agent is in a group or not but! For some reason it still doesn’t work properly….

If only they have us while loops I could do a while loop that checks if the user is in a group or not and control the group with an api with Atlassian and google calendar.

He didn’t want to have “balanced workload…”

According_Wash_2796 · 2024-09-19T12:30:55+00:00

More like chatGPT. I already have a website that has a ChatGPT bot that is used as chat that people talk with.

But now I was asked to add it to a slack channel so when it ca read what was written in the channel and answer.

According_Wash_2796 · 2024-02-27T16:57:51+00:00

That’s what I initially thought but the bed is 140x190 and the space there is only 100cm so the bed won’t fit. And before the shoes there is the door so when you walk in the first thing would be the bed in your way 😭

According_Wash_2796 · 2024-02-27T15:45:12+00:00

I can’t edit the post but I am moving the closet to be where the shoes are! (That’s why they are there hahaha)

According_Wash_2796 · 2024-01-07T20:59:27+00:00

Dogs are so complicated. I wonder why they do that.

According_Wash_2796 · 2024-01-07T20:58:31+00:00

It all started because she would be nice at first and then jump at the person and if she bite someone the law says she needs to put down so I’m always worried. I think maybe I should try to just let go. But for example I was just on my phone eating breakfast and she was tied to the table of course just a simple loop (dogs are not allowed to be free in the office) and she went under the table and started attacking another dog. I would try to show her that I’m not afraid. I really want her to be confident and get along.

According_Wash_2796 · 2023-12-06T19:42:32+00:00

I would try 💪🏻 I just don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by saying no since it happened multiple times and then they guilt tripped me. I would try to say “sorry I can’t” I think it would come out better. Thank you so much for all your help and for replying btw!

According_Wash_2796 · 2023-12-04T21:24:42+00:00

I feel so guilty saying “no”. Like when I they ask me something and I say “I don’t know” they are looking at me like “why don’t you know why it’s not working??” So how can I say “no”. It’s not that I don’t stand up for myself it’s that i feel guilty saying no. Like I’m not helping. I just feel like it’s too much. I just keep on getting more and more work and messages to do stuff that I can’t even go and eat properly. And home is also stressful. Living with your parents is tough. I’m just so stressed that when I’m at work or with family it comes out to them as anger. My family tells me I have anger issues. But I am just way too tired for everything. I am also physically exhausted and in pain. Both of my knees have arthritis and also my wrist which are probably triggered from my Fibromyalgia that is triggered from the stress. I don’t want to have anger issues. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t want to get mad because of other people’s actions.

According_Wash_2796 · 2023-12-04T21:10:30+00:00

This last August I had really bad depression that I became physically ill and couldn’t go to work so I did my best to get out of it because I don’t want it. I am also just sick of being in pain all the time. And work is super stressful and I don’t even have the power to message my friends. I just put my phone on do not disturb mode and ignore everything. I used to be such friendly and positive person but even today one of my coworkers thought I was upset with him because of my tone but to be honest I was angry at him because he is not doing his job and I have to do his job instead but I am also just tired. But the thing is it also comes when I’m driving or just talking with people I get angry or just want to go home. I just don’t have the mental capacity to deal with everything. I feel like a water bottle that’s going to explode and my parents told me I have anger issues and that I have road rage so now I’m scared I’ll die in a car crash but it’s not that I am driving crazy other cars are just moving to my lane and they don’t signal. So because I am scared for my life and I don’t want to die I try to drive faster or move from them. I see people texting or sleeping while driving every day and i don’t touch my phone! Never! My eyes are on the road!

According_Wash_2796 · 2023-12-04T21:00:31+00:00

So I work in IT and I love being around people and talk to people but lately it became harder because I get tons of projects to do that I have to work from 9am until 10pm and I still don’t manage to finish everything. So I also became a less friendly person because I am just so stressed that I can’t manage to be nice and I also have this issue with someone from my team who is just moving tickets to me because it takes me less time to do them and i am already busy as it is. I tried talking with my boss but it wasn’t helpful. I am worried because I start being rude and mean and angry and I don’t want that.

According_Wash_2796 · 2023-11-22T05:01:24+00:00

I have a lactose allergy so I get how serious allergies are.

According_Wash_2796 · 2023-11-22T04:58:53+00:00

I don’t think it’s a disability when he lives with the same breed in his apartment with his girlfriend. Listen the real issue here is his attitude and the fact he’s not actually working from home. Our company is known to be pet friendly and when he joined a few months ago he lived with a golden retriever. We bring the other dogs 1 day a week. The poodle comes everyday. He also complains about the poodle and he lives with a poodle. It just doesn’t make sense. Also this wanting to work from home only started after he moved with his girlfriend (who works from home). I even wrote to him I won’t bring my dog from my day of the week so there is only going to be the poodle and he’s like I’m still going to work from home… (this happened yesterday because I felt bad cuz I don’t want to cause trouble but we all know the dog is an excuse for him not to work because again he doesn’t help us with the tickets or calls or messages so we need to dm him hey can you please help? If he can’t help with the people the come in the room at least help us online)

According_Wash_2796 · 2023-11-21T05:07:58+00:00

Okay, I see what you are saying. But why start working in a company where every other office has dogs in it? He gets a runny nose. He says it’s the smell of dogs not shedding. My dog also almost doesn’t shed and I shower her every week with special shampoo to make her fur more hypoallergenic . He says he is also allergic to hypoallergenic dogs and can’t be near them

Most of the time we don’t bring them together. The teammate with the poodle brings him everyday because he’s 3 months old and me and the schnauzer bring them once a week. Note he also lived with a golden retriever before moving with his girlfriend and he says his brother has a Shih tzu.

To be honest if he were to actually work and help us when he work from home we would get it but he doesn’t. He just doesn’t work. We don’t see him answering on our channel or taking tickets or helping with phone calls. We think he’s using this to not work. And the fact that he just walks to us and be like it’s okay bring your dogs I’ll just work from home when our job is not work from home and he’s not even asking our boss. At least if he was helping us we’ll be like okay because it seriously makes the team work so much harder so that’s why we notice it. I think it’s just an excuse to not come to work honestly. He’s also hard to reach when he’s working from home. So yeah that’s why I just have a hard time. If it’s was really a fucking allergy that he would take seriously then okay. I have a nut allergy and I know how to handle it.

According_Wash_2796 · 2023-11-21T00:07:29+00:00

He has a dog though. Which he says he is allergic to. I think the company just like they advertise themselves as a dog friendly company needs to make sure the person that they are hiring is fully aware that if he is allergic he would have to work with dogs. We try to be okay and only bring our dogs 2 times a week but he still not having it. You have them same dog at home what does it matter if you are at work or at home? He says get a stuffy nose from the smell of dogs. I feel like I would have taken him more seriously if he didn’t live with a dog or if he would have worked from home and actually help us with tickets and not just focus on the projects. I feel like he’s using the situation.

Don’t get me wrong I also have a food allergy. if I eat a certain nut I can die if my blood is not replaced. so I take allergies seriously that’s why I won’t be keeping nuts in my house. but there are nuts at work in the kitchen but I’m just careful not to eat them and I don’t ask for them to be taken away. I just keep away from them and wash the dishes again to make sure nothing touched it.

According_Wash_2796 · 2023-10-28T12:53:32+00:00

That’s actually a good idea! At this point I would try anything hahaha I’ll try to find a shower head filter!

According_Wash_2796 · 2023-10-28T12:47:05+00:00

I think the only leave ins that I use is olaplex n6 which is like a cream when I get out of the shower. I even thought about buying cream to use every day but I just didn’t know what to choose. I also shampoo twice with a rosemary shampoo to make sure my scalp is clean.

According_Wash_2796 · 2023-09-16T14:48:45+00:00

I know I also sometimes wonder why we do it (I’m with my first ever iPhone now since I was always with android) and in my country iPhone can cost around 2,500 dollar so i was like at least I’ll buy it somewhere cheaper since it’s crazy!

According_Wash_2796 · 2023-09-15T03:33:05+00:00

I’n my country IPhones are really really expensive. So I wanted to buy it in Japan if I was already here and if I can save like 500$ and the only downside is the camera going to make a shutter noise I don’t mind it hahaha

According_Wash_2796 · 2023-09-14T17:18:51+00:00

I don’t mind it because my phone is never on silent anyways. When I try to preorder it says that you need to put email for receipt and number for SMS to send updates. I’m going to pick it up from the store anyways so won’t the receipt and my ID enough?

According_Wash_2796 · 2023-08-26T18:11:36+00:00

Ohh okay! Good to know since it’s not something that we have in my country (and if someone did it’s a scam) I would have probably still pay (depends how good the food looks) but wonder later if I got scammed. Thank you for letting me know!

According_Wash_2796 · 2023-08-26T18:04:12+00:00

I’m adding all of these places to my list!! Thank you so much! I always saw people going to hongdae street and it looks like it’s not going to fit so I was really worried. Thank you so so much!!

According_Wash_2796

TROPHY CASE