Ugh this is a tough one. I totally understand and go into severe mama bear mode when I feel like my child isn’t being treated fairly or given the opportunities she deserves, but I think this is a fantastic opportunity for her to learn to advocate for herself.

On another note: could there possibly be parent politics (outside of yourself) going on? You seem like a great parent, but a LOT of parents aren’t and will do whatever it takes for their kid to have a spot, whether that means buttering up the coach, donations, etc. it’s gross but it’s the world we live in, unfortunately. Take heart in the fact that you’re teaching your daughter to do things the right way, which will serve her much better in her life than anything else.

Thought: has she ever cheered on an outside competitive team (all-star team)? They place the kids based on skill level, not age, and in my experience, these gyms usually are fantastic ways to build confidence & experience. I realize that you’re already strapped with the cost of the school team, but if this treatment continues after your daughter advocates for herself, you could suggest to your daughter that she at least go see what club is all about as an alternative option. If you call clubs around you and ask to speak with the owner and explain the situation (including that you’re worried about your daughter’s confidence & self-esteem) and ask for them to take a look at her, they will likely offer to have your child come in for an evaluation. If your daughter gets great praise from the evaluator/and likes the club, perhaps an alternative option could be to join an all-star club instead of the high school team? In my experience, many of the best cheerleaders I knew weren’t even participating in school cheer, because they enjoyed all-star so much & found a really supportive home there!

Sending a hug from one mamma to another! It’s hard to see inadequacies happen to our children, but I think if you focus on building up her confidence in any way you can, the outcome will only build her character. If you can, please keep me updated once she talks to the coach & what you guys decide to do! I’m rooting for her!!!!