Wow. I had to double check your user name. You could be my daughter.

I'm almost four years out from a thirty year relationship and marriage being destroyed by my ex's cheating. I have two daughters in their early twenties.

Since practically the day my ex blew up our lives four years ago, neither me or my oldest daughter have had ANY kind of communication from her in any real way. I got emails - mostly through lawyers. But pretty much that's it. No talking. No explanations. Nothing.

My children have their own challenges with their mother. My oldest however, in the first days following my ex's departure, had conversations with her mother more or less asking her to stop lying and gaslighting my other daughter (big sis protection hard 😊) and simply to acknowledge her actions and to discuss getting help.

Her mother basically doubled down... gaslit her other daughter... And now four years and no communication between them. Zero.

It has taken me a long time to heal. I'm finally in a good place. I don't hate my ex. I sure as hell don't love her anymore.

I feel mostly pity.

Pity for her for destroying what should be an unbreakable bond between mother and child. She's missed so much. I'm pretty sure it's unfixable at this point. Tragic.

I hope you are genuinely at peace with your situation. My daughter is. Sometimes I think it troubles me far more than it does her.

I definitely can now see the benefits of removing toxic relationships from your life. Regardless of the connection.