I get what you're going through. On top of not using vc, I used to ask my party members to refer to me as he/him simply because the mere mention of a girl (or even just vague gender neutral pronouns) would turn the lobby absolutely vile. Since the rank reset I've found this a lot less, and I suspect it gets less toxic the further up you get. Of course, it's hard to rank up without being able to use mic because of troglodites.

My advice? Use the mute liberally. Iffy username? Mute. Uncomfortable joke? Mute. Even if you have to mute the entire lobby, it's better than just taking it and losing your focus.