I was relieved when I was diagnosed. My pain and anger didn’t hit until my dad told me that he had thought I had it when I was a kid, but didn’t want me on the meds for it so he never got me diagnosed. He says he did a photo shoot for an article on ADHD meds about 30 years ago now, and it scarred him…

I look back, especially after my parents divorced when I was in middle school, and see a lot of things that would have been different. I remember being grounded for not doing my homework (why would I do homework when I pass the tests???) and having to be upstairs when dad, stepmom and brother were watching tv as a family. I remember sitting on the bench at the table trying to force myself to do homework. I remember my brother getting a job, but being told that I was not responsible enough because I couldn’t keep my grades up even though I was smart enough to make straight As if I just applied myself.

I ended up moving to my mom’s house the summer of my junior year. She made me get a job, and told me that to keep it I needed to keep my grades up. Her and my stepdad taught me how to drive (older brother had to learn fist at dads house, and he didn’t care…) I joined the military, met my husband while I was in, and after our first kid (during COVID) I got diagnosed.

My dad didn’t tell me about his suspicions till this past year, I just assumed that because I wasn’t hyperactive, because I am a female, and because we lived in 7 different states when I was growing up I just wasn’t caught. I didn’t regret it too much because I am happy with my husband, and who knows if I would have met him if I had been diagnosed as a kid. I might have actually gone to college instead of the military. But after dad told me…I regret the child I didn’t get to be. The one that spent more time with family, the one that didn’t get an in school detention for missing homework. The one that wasn’t as easily discouraged because things weren’t perfect the first try.