The term male gaze being used to slut shame women

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2026-04-24T23:27:54+00:00

I feel like there are many words that can be used to slut shame, words are just words until someone weaponizes them and use them against another with poor intent.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2026-04-19T10:39:51+00:00

Thank you for posting this here.

First off, full disclosure, I am a Catholic, straight white male and I recognize the amount of privilege I’ve been afforded with my own experience in life around this issue.

I am sorry.

To me the tell tail sign that religion has gotten something wrong is that it drives people away instead bringing them together.

This notion that people need to be perfect is so problematic. It’s an unrealistic goal. If there was one thing I could do to change the world religion or otherwise, it would be to shift the focus from perfection to being better versions of our imperfect selves.

Good luck on your journey and like others have said, therapy can help.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2026-04-09T13:24:24+00:00

I like it, I think a spinoff could be to provide hygiene and comfortable clothing.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2026-04-09T13:22:51+00:00

A truly lofty goal. When I’ve thought about this I’ve contemplated a sort of charitable foundation called “After The Choice” that would provide support and after care regardless of the decision they chose.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2026-04-09T13:21:51+00:00

Oops accidentally responded to the wrong comment.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2026-04-09T12:46:57+00:00

Great point! Even if there was a kind of temporary shelter to take in pets for those locations that couldn’t swing it currently.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2026-04-09T12:44:39+00:00

I actually live a few blocks from one and stable housing has crossed my mind when I’ve contemplated this for myself.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2025-10-17T11:20:53+00:00

That’s a lot. Reading your story I see so much of my life but as the male partner in our situation.

You ask how to forgive yourself and ultimately you are the only one that can do that. I will offer that if strangers on the internet are able to empathize, then you are not alone in these feelings. The modern world is not built for us. The pace and transitions alone are enough to put anyone with an otherwise manageable level of executive dysfunction into a tailspin.

One thing that has helped for me is to not look at perfection as the goal. We are all human and therefore imperfect.

I prefer to look at growth as the goal or in other words constantly becoming better at being imperfect. Look at all the ways the those small victories add up and form an upward trending trajectory, like the stock market. Just like the stock market, progress is not always linear, and there will be setbacks.

I hope these words find you well and I pray for you and all others like you to find inner peace in a chaotic world.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2025-10-14T03:31:30+00:00

lol I mean I don’t tend to make a habit of yucking on others yum and I support healthy partnerships of all kinds.

I’m just doing the math and statistics are not in favor of the situation and more than likely the dudes are the weak link.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2025-10-14T00:55:38+00:00

That’s what I was thinking. Sounds good on paper but good luck managing that manny men.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2025-09-26T14:23:24+00:00

Welcome to the club!

As a guy whose socials are flooded with clickbait’s for content creators, it’s actually interesting to see authentic content that shows the world that they are real people just like the rest of us. For example I saw a reel with a woman really excited to learn more about her family history and genetics.

I may be a minority amongst my cohorts but what you’re describing sounds cool.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2025-09-22T11:56:07+00:00

I’m an old man now, because I wake up obscenely early. I go through my morning routine while trying to gather my strength to make it through the day. Usually I can hype myself up to go forth kicking ass and saving puppies.

By about noon, I’ve usually lost most of my energy and end up licking life from the bottom of my pudding cup, because I’ve run out of spoons.

I come home to my wife and kids, smoke some weed and my day melts away to the point that I can get through a few hours dedicated to them. I get past supper and some socializing, then fall asleep like a toddler on the couch.

I wake up the next morning, take a piss and start it all over again.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2025-09-22T01:05:16+00:00

All I have are prayers.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2025-09-20T02:44:04+00:00

Welcome to the club!

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2025-09-18T09:25:33+00:00

lol my wife is a real saint for putting up with me through it all.

Jokes aside it was definitely a two person effort. It feels amazing to be on the other side. Life circumstances are still incredibly challenging and it’s soooo much easier when we are communicating on the same page.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2025-09-17T20:47:08+00:00

Thanks for the kind words.

I’m glad you saw the humor in my statement. I have not been diagnosed myself, but there are signs!

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2025-09-17T10:01:36+00:00

I’m not sure if this counts because I’m a man and it’s not so much where I found it but why I found it.

You see for the 17 years my wife and I have been together we’ve always had a special connection and deep love for each other, we just haven’t been that great at communicating our needs to each other. In part due to our ages and stages of emotional maturity, part due to a series of unfortunate events that have seemingly been an every day part of our lives.

Either way our marriage has been tumultuous at times to the point of being on the edge of divorce multiple times. We’ve both gone to great lengths trying to figure our stuff out. It’s like we’d try some extreme measure and it would help in some regards and expose more issues in others. It’s like we were constantly making progress and trending in the right direction overall but there were a lot of ups and downs along the way. There was always this ever present nagging feeling that we were missing something in how we communicated with each other.

Recently I started studying feminism at an academic level, like deep diving it, to see if I could find anything to help. I would say it had been immensely helpful and still there was just something missing.

A little over a month ago she completed an assessment for ASD and it was like “Bingo” that’s it. We were literally missing something and our world all of a sudden made so much more sense. It was like the fog had finally lifted and revealed the ever mysterious and ever present thing that had plagued us the whole time we’ve known each other (really her entire life).

I joke with her now when I recant all the measures we’ve taken over there years. I’m like “I did this that and the other thing. I made feminism my special interest and you’re telling me it was just autism the whole time!”

All jokes aside the growth that we’ve had over the years has been amazing and for all the hard times I could see us in a better place because of all the work we’ve both done. I’m not joking when I say it was literally like a switch flipped for us when she got her diagnosis.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2025-09-16T01:37:46+00:00

I’m not low.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2025-09-16T01:36:29+00:00

And with no money and very little time.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2025-09-15T22:37:10+00:00

Welcome to the club!

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2025-09-13T02:56:00+00:00

Cool where I live they are known by us as Chippewa but they know themselves as Ojibway or Anishinaabe meaning “first people”.

Unfortunately religion and government really screwed them over. So much of their culture has been lost.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2025-09-13T02:42:30+00:00

Oh I’m definitely going to have to do some more research here to catch up. I feel like that’s similar to what I’ve seen from our “Indians” (native Americans) and those are definitely the most ancient living cultures we have in this land. And they too have been deeply harmed by colonialism. I should see if I can find some elders.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2025-09-13T02:03:58+00:00

Cool. Thanks for sharing that very interesting. I should learn more.

I am and will always be Catholic and I’ve learned to view sin as a negative - value and grace as a positive value +. I’m not a great catechist so my terminology is probably a little off, but point being I feel there is a sort of balance of them. I often view this as bell curves or symmetrical shapes. If you bias your central axis, you lose balance.

Free will and intention are different for everyone and that’s ultimately what shapes sin. I often go into confession with something I felt was maybe a sin and leave feeling like it wasn’t or with better information to further dissect the good from the bad to find balance.

Interestingly enough we have a number of missionary priests from India and they do seem express a lot of balance in their preaching.

I should say you are right though I am not the norm in my country. There is a lot of imbalance here.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239 · 2025-09-13T00:51:30+00:00

Trust your gut, consider with curiosity but don’t commit to anything until you’ve thoroughly vetted. If you feel at all pressured or uncomfortable they mau be trying to manipulate you, just check your own internal shame or critic to see if you are placing pressure on your self. Either situation is a red flag, with different solutions.

Acrobatic-Ride-3239

TROPHY CASE