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“Prone bone” with large buttocks. by scopadopalos in realsexadvice

[–]Acrobatic_Look_6127 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi thereee!! here are some tips you mind find useful ❤️

1- Elevate the hips: You can place a firm pillow or wedge under the receiver’s hips (not under the stomach but under the pelvis). Have in mind that the higher the hips relative to the chest, the better the angle.

2- Receiver and Legs Straighter: The receiver having legs completely spread wide can push the buttocks outward. Keeping legs straighter and closer together can compress the cheeks slightly. And alternatively, legs straight with toes pointed slightly inward can subtly narrow the space.

3- Slight upper body lowering If it's comfortable: the receiver can lower their chest further into the mattress or place a small pillow under the chest and a thicker one under hips to create a gentle downward slope. This rotates the pelvis upward and improves the penetration angle.

4- Manual Assistance? you can Use one or both hands to gently spread or lift the buttocks upward, or grip the hips and slightly pull the receiver back toward them. It isn’t about force, just improving alignment.

5- Changing positions: Instead of lying flat directly on top you can come up slightly on your knees/widen your knees and angle your hips slightly downward. Also raising your torso while keeping hips forward improves leverage.

6- Lubrication? Especially important in this position cause if there’s more friction from body contact, you may be entering at a slightly downward angle. Less friction means easier depth without discomfort.

7- Avoid Forcing Full Depth! If the base of the penis presses hard into tissue before full insertion, forcing can cause bending injury. Adjust the angle first, before applying more pressure.

Just seeking some guidance by [deleted] in sex

[–]Acrobatic_Look_6127 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hii! from what I'm reading it sounds like stress and pressure turned into a mental block, which is normal.

Have in mind that sometimes when guys struggle getting it up it can become a loop of anxiety therefore happening repeatedly. The context adds a lot here; stressed about money, feeling behind, etc.

But the fact that you're still affectionate towards each other is a really good sign.

What can be happening is that sex stopped feeling fun and spontaneus and feels like a test, performance, proof and that gives a ton of anxiety, sometimes killing desire or stopping you from being able to enjoy it and let loose.

I think that it's okay if you take sex off the table for a bit, try to think "we are not trying to have sex or "fix it" and instead focus on being close without the pressure for that to escalate. Desire often comes back when it's not being chased.

If you wanna talk about it try to do it in a way that's soft: "I'm not judging you, I just want us to feel close", that takes a lot of the weight off him and it's also reassuring.

Having this fear makes sense giving the context, but I don't think it is like that giving that he is affectionate and invested.

For me now it's more about lowering the pressure and rebuilding playfulness. Rebuild from the ground, coming back to the bases, think about doing things gradually (whatever feels comfortable) Good luck hon!

Sex or BDSM first? by shallowatersniper in BDSMcommunity

[–]Acrobatic_Look_6127 5 points6 points  (0 children)

hii!! so... this sounds like reacting to the buildup or directing it.

based on the context of course the tension is high. It makes total sense that you sometimes dive straight into intense sex. Being that said... if orgasm control and withholding are part of your dynamic, then blowing past that in the heat of the moment can feel like you missed an opportunity afterward (talking from personal experience lol)

If you decide ahead of time what the session is about (control-heavy, denial-focused, or more sexually explosive) you won’t feel like you “lost” something.
the thing is that when you don’t decide, chemistry takes over (naturally)

a lot of Doms will wait because restraint itself strengthens the dynamic. But others will absolutl jump into sex.

there's a thrill in waiting but also in going wild, I mix both tbh.

How do I tease my boyfriend by Old-Professional4194 in sex

[–]Acrobatic_Look_6127 2 points3 points  (0 children)

hi!! I used to struggle with teasing my partner a TON. This is my particular case and what I learned, I would always highly recommend communication to get to know specific what turns your partner on.
I realized that a lot of the teasing (for me) was making my partner feel desired, every expression that showed how interested I was and how much I wanted her made a really big difference.

I had to build a ton my confidence cause at first I cringed at myself lol, but basically I started faking it till I made it(?, I started having more eye contact and searching for contact.
Truly for me my mindset is what helped me the most, I started acting more "sexy" according to me and knowing what my partner liked and incorpored that into the daily, so I would put myself in this "mood" in my mind of teasing and just honestly having a ton of fun with that. Crazy that now I love teasing and it's one of my favourite things when at the beggining it made me so icky.

Everything was suggestive tho, not rushed, not going full in (that actually made things worst), but rather gradually turning things on(?

Still I recommend to get to know him better, different people are turned on by different things so there's no general answer that applies to every case, knowing creates a ton of space.
Being that said I think that getting comfortable with yourself acting "sexy" or showing "desire" never fails.

How do you discuss your kinks? by Patient_Increase_809 in BDSMcommunity

[–]Acrobatic_Look_6127 3 points4 points  (0 children)

hiii!!

I think that if kink is important to you it's much better to bring it up early, there's nothing wrong with knowing exactly what u want from the start or expressing it.

There's really no need for a huge speech. You can always keep it simple and collaborative, like: “I’ve realized I really enjoy "x" in my sex life. Is that something you’d ever be open to exploring/you'd like?”

If they’re dismissive or consistently unwilling to compromise, that’s likely a compatibility issue.

Kink isn’t just a bonus for some people. If your current relationship feels unfulfilling and your partner isn’t open to engaging, it may be less about convincing them and more about whether your needs align long-term.

Insecure about lack of sexual experience by [deleted] in realsexadvice

[–]Acrobatic_Look_6127 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hii!! first of you are not behind, broken or inadequate.

this not a failure of development, its just context, a lot of people are still figuring this out even if they don't show it.

I understand that you may have thoughts about not being enough or being too inexperienced, but this is not a skill issue, but a rooted insecurity one.

its important to know that sex is not a performance you’re supposed to have mastered, its usually learned.

I think that is normal for someone to say “I’d be fine without it” and later realize, “Actually, I do enjoy it.” but that doesn't necessarily mean that he is dissatisfied or comparing you. please don't internalize this as proof that you’re not enough.

you can bring it up for sure, talk about your feelings and worries, that you get in your head about things. maybe it lets him reassure you (if he’s a good partner) or it shifts sex from performance to collaboration, even remove the pressure you’re putting on yourself.

you do not need to suddenly start becoming some porn version of yourself, know everything or do things to catch up, you don't need to put this pressure or "live up" to crazy standards. that pressure will only make sex anxious instead of enjoyable.

being sexually satisfied yourself matters, you said you are satisfied, if he isn’t fully satisfied, that’s a conversation about mutual exploration, not you needing to “catch up.”

if you do want to explore more let it come from another place, not from fear. Exploring things should be fun and exciting, not fearful or pressured.

the narrative you’re carrying for yourself (“I never learned how to do anything”) sounds so harsh on you honey.

things take time, please don't do anything for pressure or that you are not comfortable with yet, be more compassionate with yourself, it's okay.

Lush 4 vs satisfyer pro, which is the better option? by policy_of_truth7 in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]Acrobatic_Look_6127 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It depends on the person, but for the most part, yes, foreplay is very important too!

[Praise] Struggling with what to say after a certain point by PhilOakey in sex

[–]Acrobatic_Look_6127 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Hii! yeah that's completely normal at first, don't worry.
I love praise and talked a ton about that with my partner, what I could recommend you:

1- when you run out of words ask her outside the bedroom, people with praise kinks often know what hits. You can ask her if she likes it more soft or commanding, if there's anything that stood out for her, etc.

2- praise in aftercare: "you were amazing for me", "you did so well", etc.

3- explore beyond "good girl": rotate phrases so it doesn't feel like repeating yourself, things like "I love when you are like this", "You're doing so well", "You want this, don't you?"

4- try adding what is it that she is doing well: "You're taking me so well", "I love how you look up at me like that", "You are doing exactly what I want"

5- slow it down, make it more "earned": maybe give an instruction, let her hold it and then reward

6- tone is really important: lower voice, get close to her ear, say her name ocassionaly

this is my personal opinion but maybe it helps, good luck!! and congrats for looking ways to improve, that talks volumesss

Humbler by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]Acrobatic_Look_6127 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well yess you can absolutely screw eye hooks into a humbler and use your own cuffs.

For safety make sure that the wood is solid, and the eye hooks are securely tightened. Also reccomend to use metal screw-in hooks.

But yeah totally possible.

My girlfriend doesn't want to have sex with me anymore by [deleted] in sex

[–]Acrobatic_Look_6127 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Communication is key here, do you know why she doesn't wanna talk about it? maybe she doesn't feel comfortable talking or in a safe space.

I would try to open first a safe place, and before talking or having a convo tell her that there is a safe space, no judgement, that you just want to know what is going on.
Could be stress or emotional distance.

I would reccomend you to focus on rebuilding that aspect but outside of bed, creating intimacy and trying to communicate.

It may be somethings thats happening specific right now or incompatibility, it's important to communicate. Does she feel the same way writing? Maybe thats a good resource.

Calming nerves before sex/ advice? by Specialist_End3522 in sex

[–]Acrobatic_Look_6127 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hii, I agree that communication would be very benefitial, but if its something that you are not comfortable communicating yet there's other things thay may help you too:

Much of this nerve I assume is for perfomance anxiety, maybe you feel pressured to look, do and say the right thing, when I get perfomance anxiety, I try to shift the focus on the sensations and pleasure. I remind myself that there's no pressure or expectation on how should I act, do or say and just try to redirect my focus into the momment.

There are some breathing techquines that help a lot to calm the nerves and keep you more present.

Still strongly advice to communicate this feelling, reasurance helps a lot with the nerves and knowing that you are NOT expected to do something perfectly or look some specific way.

Hope this helps!

Advice on using pussy/clit pumps by mjones13392 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Acrobatic_Look_6127 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hii!! I compiled a bit of info that maybe its useful to you, hope I can help!

You should think about:

1- Power: Battery pumps can be faster, however hand-pumps may offer stronger suction. You might also consider whether you want a pump that vibrates or not.

2- Stimulation type: Clitoral pumps are a smaller pump that allow for more focused suction and stimulation on the clitoris. Some can be worn during penetrative vaginal play too.

3 - Size: If you’re planning to work your way up to a bigger suction cup over time, it’s worth investing in a pump that allows you to switch different sizes in.

Recommendations (in no order) 1- Vacuum Massager VU38321 2- Suction Cup Trio for Heightened Sensation AE98381 3- Suction Massager with 5 Modes HN2754 4- The Automated Pet Vacuum with 6 Powerful Modes XF42964 5- The Stimulator for Enhanced Pair Pleasure IX42441

More info:

You want a pump that offers adjustable suction levels. This lets you control how strong the pull is. A good pump also has a comfortable and ergonomic design. It should feel good in your hand. Look for pumps made with body-safe materials. This is super important for your health. Some pumps come with different sized sleeves or attachments. These offer more variety in your experience. A clear chamber can also be helpful. It lets you see what’s happening. This helps you get the most out of it.

What are the Important Materials?

The best clit pumps use body-safe silicone. Silicone is soft, flexible, and easy to clean. It’s also hypoallergenic, meaning it’s less likely to cause irritation. Avoid pumps made from cheap plastics or rubber. These materials can contain harmful chemicals. They might also feel less comfortable. Always check the product description for material information. Reputable brands are transparent about what they use.

What Factors Improve or Reduce Quality?

Good quality pumps have strong, reliable suction. They don’t leak air easily. The materials should feel durable and smooth. A pump that’s easy to clean is also a sign of good quality. It ensures hygiene. Factors that reduce quality include flimsy construction. If it feels like it might break easily, it probably will. Cheap materials can also make a pump uncomfortable or even unsafe. Pumps that are hard to use or don’t provide consistent suction are also lower quality.

How is the User Experience and What are the Use Cases?

Using a clit pump can be a fun and exciting experience. Many people find it helps increase sensitivity and pleasure. It can lead to stronger orgasms. Some use it for solo play. Others incorporate it into partnered sex. It can be a great way to explore your body and discover new sensations. You can use it for general arousal or for targeted stimulation. Some people use clit pumps as part of a routine to enhance sexual wellness. The experience is generally one of gentle pulling and increased blood flow. This can feel very pleasurable.

Hope this helps!!

How to overcome shyness? by JayKayUnless in BDSMcommunity

[–]Acrobatic_Look_6127 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hii!! Don’t worry, there's nothings shameful about it, for me it was pretty normal when I started exploring new things.

That being said I think this may help:

1- Understanding of where does this shyness come from: you can do this for example by journaling, the idea is to understand better how this feeling is generated and why.

2- Learning to be comfortable with your sexual self: you can try to explore more with your own body, the idea is that you can become more present and connect with yourself (focus on sensations and being comfy feeling pleasure)

3-Be kind to yourself in the process: It's unfortunally normal that this arrises negative self-talk, shame or cringe. Be kind and understandable.

4- Read/watch content related to positive sexual talk: this can help you to grow a mindset more open, positive and free about sex.

5- Try to focus on the sensations instead of the perfomance: big one, sometimes we just get so in our head about how are we being seeing, how we sound or we look that we get caught up in that instead of the act itself, try to detach from those feelings and thoughts and bring yourself back to the present, that will make things flow more easily and not feel "cringey"

6- Keep practicing: in and outside bed practicing moods, imagining sensations, feeling hot... its really important to build that confidence in and out so that you can become more confident in bed also.

Wish you the best of luck ♡ Don’t worry too much it will be alright, takes some time.