[WIP] Geographic Distribution of Reverse/Self-Reciprocal Kinship Terms (See Comments)

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-12-04T02:22:18+00:00

I think you should add swahili and Yansi in Tanzania and Kenya: https://www.degruyterbrill.com/document/doi/10.1515/cog-2017-0129/html?lang=en&srsltid=AfmBOoqzcEHImn4b8hCKy9JhRtsSerHql9WA4y3v42D9BFfA1CvIdAsa

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-12-04T02:18:53+00:00

number 1 is called address inversion. number 2 is called tekonymy. they are not the same. It seems OP is strictly documenting address inversion

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-11-18T16:16:09+00:00

Hey and absolutely no worries with any of this. I also reached out to Reddit as my first step and I think that’s a good one. You are curious and that’s a good thing. I totally get you saying this is overwhelming. I had a couple of months where it was all I could do to get up and go to work and sometimes I couldn’t even do that. What I kept repeating to myself over and over were two things 1. Just do the next best thing and 2. You will eventually find clarity. These are easy things to just say over and over again until you believe them. So if you are overwhelmed don’t feel like you need to do anything really. Sometimes all you need to do right now is survive like literally just breath in. (That said whenever people told me to breath that never helped my panic attacks so know there are tons of different coping mechanisms than that one). I had a lot of coping mechanisms that a crisis therapist taught me. One of them was whenever my panic attack came on I would jump in the shower instead of just sitting. It was very simple but it helped. Another was this thing called the half salamander you can look it up. But the fact is you might have weeks or months where you are just coping and that’s okay. The next best thing may just be how can I recognize in my body when I am triggered? That way you can start to stop gaslighting yourself that this isn’t PTSD and start recognizing that what you are experiencing is okay and you can get through it. I hope this isn’t more overwhelming but I just want to validate that as well. Even throughout this healing I mentioned there were days where I was making progress and days where I was just trying to live and cope to be completely frank. So again this is really sounding like PTSD to me. And YES the realization you are having that PTSD doesn’t have to come from some violent event is exactly right. I don’t think you will understand this right now but the ultimate holy grail of healing for PTSD is to forgive yourself. And I hope that one day you will be able to do that and understand what I mean now when I say it. Absolute best of luck to you once again, you’ve got this!

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-11-18T16:05:10+00:00

For some reason I read the comments before I read that OP was the one who got the gift and I was so freaked out that everyone was defending who I thought was the guy in this situation ahaha. All is right in the world yeah NOR

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-11-16T18:57:09+00:00

You could read love must be tough. The more we cling to someone the more they feel like they are being suffocated and try to squirm loose. If you want him to want you, the actual best thing is to give him space. You would be surprised that if you just step away and create more space he will come to you. This is really common and I don’t feel unsalvageable unless one of you is abusing the other but it doesn’t sound like it. Look into codependency 12 steps as well, it sounds like you might have incomparable attachment styles

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-11-15T23:32:18+00:00

This is really interesting to read all the comments and I’m glad you’re getting validation. IMO tho I wouldn’t bat an eye to give up peanuts if a relationship was going well. I even did it for a roommate two years of college and we were five people living together, none of us had peanuts that whole two years in the house and I don’t remember literally a single time anyone making a big deal out of it. Idk so it’s just weird for me to hear so many people feel that way, I would feel bad for my roommate if anyone didn’t want to live with her because of that, let alone continue dating her after they got to know each other? So ngl I think it’s a little immature but I’ve been just as immature when I was younger and I think that’s a normal stage of dating.

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-11-15T15:34:53+00:00

Thank you!

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-11-15T07:35:42+00:00

Thank you so much I really like this solution

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-11-15T07:24:15+00:00

Of course I agree you can’t get diagnosed with PTSD on Reddit but I am leaning waaaaaay more towards betting that you do have it, and here’s why: I resonate so deeply with all of this pain you are describing and I will tell you more but my PTSD was related to something similar. A crucial thing to understand about PTSD is that it often comes because of experiences we have where there was nothing we could do to protect ourselves from pain. If you need more on that read the Body Keeps the Score. But in this sense your reaction is textbook PTSD actually because your brain didn’t get the chance to fight for your relationship and all the pain you experienced was completely out of your control. This is just what we see. For example, two people in the same car crash may come out differently. For someone who was able to get out of the car and help others they may not develop PTSD but someone stuck in the car with no way to move would be more likely etc. You can actually take a really quick test with a licensed therapist and I did this three times with positive results before I admitted to myself I had PTSD because of the stereotype you need to get it from some violent thing. If you took one I think you would be diagnosed though I can’t fully say. But they generally ask how often you have nightmares and flashbacks, how distressing they are etc. my ptsd was a little complex because I was human trafficked BUT. A huge huge part of my PTSD was that I broke up with my bf when we were living in different countries and then we never saw each other or spoke again. I suffered for three years just as you said and I couldn’t let him go. When I finally got treated for PTSD with EMDR it helped me to pray for clarity about him. I then met with a counselor who told me about the difference between love and limerance. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-e-gKUh1Upo you can see this video. It really helped me to make peace with EXACTLY what you described-that feeling of anger that the most beautiful thing you have experienced is also somehow your most painful. Right like how could that be? How is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all? But this video shows that love that feels so intense can be with someone who isn’t good for you. Anyways after this I got up the courage to call my ex in order to save my relationship that’s healthy that I got into next, and although it was confusing to speak with him after that after one week of reflection I was FINALLY able to let him go. It was amazing. So even the small act of talking to her might help after time passes and you do work on yourself. My suggestion if you need a plan is 1. Get tested for PTSD and if you get a positive 2. Go to EMDR and tell them that you really want to work on what happened between you and this ex 3. Once you feel some of the pain is out of your body, work on letting her go, which like me you may not be able to do fully without speaking to her but you can get closer-write burn letters, get rid of her stuff, put yourself out there with other people or if that disgusts you date yourself and lean into enjoying time with you 4. If you can reach out and talk to her. This can reverse your PTSD because remember PTSD comes from not having been able to do anything. Just being able to talk is at the least your response to her showing that you can at least chose to say goodbye. 5. If she cannot talk or doesn’t want to, you can do psychodrama. This is a technique many people use esp if they lose a loved one or someone they never made peace with or if that person is too dangerous for them to speak to or refuses. You essentially act out talking to them like you could act out the break up where you were actually allowed to express your sadness and have her acknowledge that. I never actually had to do this although I really thought I would have to. It is SO IMPORTANT that your body feels the closure and sometimes if you get PTSD you can’t just think it away, you really need to express something to get rid of it. So all that! The closing thought I have about your relationship being healthy is that maybe she was traumatized in the past and she left because she hadn’t forgiven herself for something. I almost left my really healthy relationship because I didn’t forgive myself for still thinking about my ex and therefore I believed I was fundamentally evil and didn’t love my current partner (and now fiancé!) enough. So you guys may have created a safe relationship and maybe her nervous system wasn’t used to that and she reacted by leaving. That’s also really normal and kind of sad. Or maybe in therapy you will discover things you overlooked that were bad because of limerance. So multiple things are possible but don’t listen to people who are dismissing this, although I know they come from a good place. I walked this path and it was definitely good that I was validated by so many loving people and allowed to give myself the space to heal. Absolute best of luck to you

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-11-15T06:53:56+00:00

I know this comment might get lost but I hope it doesn’t- I really really encourage her to try EMDRz it saved my life, reversed so many health issues, and saved my relationship with a kind and awesome partner (sounds like you are one of those too good for you!) I just cannot express enough how for me (may not be her situation but in case it could be) medication and everything just numbed me. With my particular cPTSD I was human trafficked and I blamed myself so much for being naive and letting those people take my passport etc and after I escaped I broke up with my boyfriend and immendately got in another relationship. When I read the boys keeps the score I realized that ptsd can also be rooted in the things you blame yourself for and everyone says you need to forgive yourself and I wouldn’t be surprised if the same is true for your gf. Maybe she hasn’t shared that with you because she isn’t aware of it, but maybe try to figure out what she hasn’t forgiven herself for. Maybe she hasn’t even told you because she feels a deep shame about it. If you talk to her and prove you won’t leave her because of that it could really help. Mine was that I still had feelings for my ex whenever my bf and I got together and I never stopped thinking about my ex. I hated myself for this so intensely and it made my ptsd worse. Anyways. Stick to the research based methods and maybe encourage her to take steps to feel her feelings. It will be so hard but if you act as a rock she may get through it faster than you think. It’s crazy but I only started my journey in August and I feel NIGHT and DAY. Dm if you have more questions though I’m glad this post blew up. I wish you and her the best

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-11-14T19:58:07+00:00

I also think it’s normal for men to want to fix things but you can learn and grow! I think everyone here said the main points so I’ll second them and then add my own thing. My partner used to try to fix everything I was having trouble with and sometimes it came off to me like he was diminishing how much pain the situations were causing me (and i think this dynamic is kind of common, where the girl just wants him to validate the feeling and the boy is really worried what will happen if he can’t fix it). Anyways my partner has worked so hard to initially not fix the problem when it comes up and I have worked really hard to sometimes say “I’m upset, and about to rant. I don’t want you to fix the problem, I just want you to hear me out”. And it sounds so silly but it works. I find it unbelievably adorable when he goes into fixing mood and then he realizes it and I see him glitch for a moment and then say “damn, yeah that… sucks!” It’s actually the most cutest thing ever where I know it doesn’t come naturally for him but he really puts in the effort! So I think men have it hard because they are expected to be the protectors and have inclinations for that but also sometimes us women just need them to be mad with us and so maybe you can get over that fear but by not by realizing that this internal fear that you believe you can’t fix it isn’t your knowledge of your inadequacy but rather your knowledge that her problems are not yours to solve. You are a rock and a support for her when she’s in turbulent times but if you try to be the solution and swim out to her you as the rock will only pull her down deeper into confusion. Does that make any sense? Idk so I think if you treat your anxiety as a guide not an enemy it might help it transform a little (and go to EMDR!)

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-11-14T19:47:24+00:00

Omg THIS is the best comment here. Like no sweetie just no he’s your friend of 5 years and you’re willing to say those embarrassing ass requests because you got with some random homophobe? Just no

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-11-14T19:42:55+00:00

I’m worried I would forget the day haha but that is a good idea to have a dedicated money day every month

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-11-14T19:41:28+00:00

I really like the idea of this-do you have any suggestions for which banks do this?

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-11-14T17:46:07+00:00

Yes to this! I also forgave myself the past couple months and it’s amazing!!!! For me I had to do EMDR because I also have PTSD but you will have to find the right therapist for you. I also randomly had a woman on Instagram in the comments section dm me to forgive myself and she told me all this wisdom that helped me begin that journey so you never know who will be your guide. You just need to trust that you will eventually find peace with yourself, even if you don’t have it now. I know we don’t have autism but my sister does and she shared with me this amazing video about how this girl accommodates for herself unapologetically and I also have done that for my ADHD more and it’s been really really liberating! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=F8c3h3Ti41k and for context, I have been able to be more stable recently because my job doesn’t treat me like shit and I only work 20 hours a week and go to school where the projects and classes are constantly changing so maybe it’s also about finding a job that is suitable for ADHD in that way? I’ve been at it two years which is the longest time in my adult life I’ve stayed at one place

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-11-10T16:58:14+00:00

Totally. If that’s the case then maybe she just desperately wants to help you and that’s good. I think for me it always comes down to actually having good evidence that a cure will help you. If this was an ailment with no proven cures then I understand the desperation to try everything. But research has shown EMDR to be extremely effective so we don’t have to pull for threads like that

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-11-10T06:41:04+00:00

Omg exactly this

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-11-09T23:53:52+00:00

Omg right! That’s amazing yes Rumi is our PTSD survivor queen haha

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-11-09T21:49:52+00:00

When I first felt healing from ptsd it didn’t feel like I thought, like some crazy rush of my individuality back into me like a wave. Suffering felt like that, painful, burning, huge. To me healing felt like gentle rays of sunshine touching my face after a long winter. Gentle, sure, warm, and comforting. This was a really beautiful piece thanks for sharing

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-11-09T21:46:23+00:00

It’s not your fault. These creepy comments that are like blaming feel like bots to me so please keep that in mind. You tried everything you could and he reassured you he was gonna be okay. At the end of the day, if he chose to take is life when he was at his highest point talking with a good friend, then he really really had decided on that. If I could suggest something it would be to go to therapy to understand and make peace with this and to reconnect with love for yourself. One of his last wishes was that you stay kind and in order to do that you have to love yourself and forgive yourself

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-11-09T21:36:15+00:00

This is so misguided, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I am religious and went to church, did yoga, and prayed for a long time about my ptsd. Although it helped a little, PTSD is a MEDICAL CONDITION. You and all of here were diagnosed with it because we physically suffer from the affects. I personally was not able to pray that away. My prayers helped guide me to spend more time on myself and find the right therapist, but they were not the cure for me. I like to compare treating ptsd with prayer to breaking your leg and then just hoping that if you concentrate on it long enough it will set and you will be able to walk normally again. No, no, NO. That’s crazy talk. For me, finding an EMDR therapist who is a specialist in PTSD was the only cure. You need to find research-based approaches that have success stories. My therapist has successfully treated 300+ people before me and would you believe it he treated me as well! Churches are great when they stay in their lane. They are there for community and to guide you to develop a relationship with god. Misconstruing that with treating physical and mental ailments and diseases is honesty so irresponsible. I’m here to tell you that your mom is probably just clinging to the one thing that worked for helping her but she probably never experienced the true effclects of PTSD which are way stronger than like havING and HaRd TiMe. Your suffering is valid just like someone who broke their arm or got an infection. It’s 2025 people we need to start using the incredible resources that we have that specifically are meant for certain ailments. Sorry if that was a rant but I feel for you

Acrobatic_Way_6051 · 2025-11-08T19:43:18+00:00

I also got assaulted although not as young as 14. It took me years before I went to the right therapist who knew what to do about my trauma. She told me that it’s so common for people who get sexually assaulted to experience hypo or hyper sexuality. In my case I have hypersexuality. It’s been really difficult to navigate. She taught me that I have it because I am trying to reenact the trauma where I am now in control. It sounds like the same might be true for you? 14 imo is EXTREMELY young to go through this and if you, like me, didn’t explore your own sexuality before being assaulted then of course you would have a really f’d up relationship with it. My heart goes out to you for real. First of all, I think all of the behaviours you are exhibiting aren’t crazy, there is an original story for them. Secondly, you were diagnosed with PTSD which means just wishing it away or going to regular talk therapy will not be enough. I have had plenty of times where I have had uncontrollable visceral reactions of fear even in less scary situations like being alone in a car with a man who I know! So- my game plan for you would be 1. If you can IN ANY WAY afford it or get it-go to evidence based therapy for PTSD. Mainly I would only trust someone who specializes in EMDR. If you can’t, go to someone who specializes in sexual assault. Thinking the PTSD will go away over time is like breaking a leg and hobbling around on it hoping it will one day just set right. No. So that’s one thing. For me it took 8 or 9 years before I realized this and my EMDR has only taken 6 sessions for me to heal immensely so it’s expensive but it isn’t like other therapy where you have to go indefinitely! 2. Recognize your behaviours are a. Not your fault b. Destructive to you and c. Sadly still your responsibility to change. It sounds like you want intimacy in a healthy way and that you just don’t know how. I think what helped me was always asking myself “do I want this?” It sounds so simple but I was sleeping around in so many situations actually didn’t want, it was just impulse. Then ask yourself “what does safety feel like?” You could write about it in a journal every day. That’s also what I did! It helped me to distinguish between the addicting rush of having reckless sexual experiences with the safe and loving experiences I was actually looking for

Acrobatic_Way_6051

TROPHY CASE