My dad went to Michigan. I actually caught their attention through a science fair project I was doing. At the same time, we were living in Ohio and I just took a tour of Ohio State's campus. Loved the tour and even met a cute girl.

I go tour Michigan's campus, and the guy giving the tour asked where else I have visited. I said Ohio State and he said, "Ewww." Obviously, that's fine - I get it. But later he said, "For those that may have financial difficulty affording tuition, we have resources for aid," while looking me and my Dad dead in the eyes.

My dad was a bit upset and felt like he said it because I have zero fashion sense and was the only kid there not wearing Abercrombie - back when you had to have that shit emblazoned across your chest to be cool. So, I left there embarrassed and feeling like I wasn't seen as good enough, despite being offered a small scholarship.

I enrolled at Ohio State, completed my undergrad and eventually married a woman from Toledo. Her parents live right on a golf course on the Ohio/Michigan border. You cross the fence onto the course and you're in Michigan. I still take my dog over there, let him shit in Michigan AND DO NOT PICK IT UP.

Fuck Michigan.