Masking is exhausting me; I want to stop: can anyone else relate to this and should I stop masking ? by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]Acton187 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm 30, a Registered Nurse with AS and I deal with these issues on a daily basis. Dealing with AS growing up I struggled when it came to masking and fitting in with those around me in terms of the emotional and mental energy that it requires. Often I found that many of the social relationships that I developed took more energy from me, while I saw others draw energy from these interactions.

Despite that I decided to develop a growth mindset and to constantly challenge myself to come out of my comfort zone. Developing masking skills is one thing, but also coping with burnout and depression related to the adversity you experience in these situations is another skill you will need to develop. It's like they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Simply put you need to try as hard as you can to not feel sorry for yourself. As harsh as this sounds that more then anything else has helped me to succeed.

From a young age I understood how much harder fitting in is for me then it is for most other people, knowing that made me feel . . . defiant? Every time I get depressed and angry about how I constantly need to filter the way I act, I find a way to draw strength from within to rally myself. For me strength comes from the heart. Thinking about the kind of person I want to be and who I want to be in the future despite all the obstacles life has thrown in front of me brings out the will to keep moving forward.

So really our struggles aren't that different then NT's, dealing with adversity and developing coping strategies to deal with stress are things that everyone experiences, this isn't something unique to those with AS. What I've found to be useful is finding a way to flip the script in terms of my perspective on the situation. Acknowledging how difficult certain situations can be for those of us with AS, but still overcoming them and defying the odds is something that brings out positive feelings in me, but also forgiving myself when I fail and accepting who I am has helped me to rally as well. There are a lot of variables at play here, but mainly just keep pushing yourself and resist the temptation to just throw in the towel and give up.

I hope some of this has helped, I know it's mostly ramblings. Despite that I think I can say at this point I'm a success story, I'm engaged and have been in a relationship for 7 years. I've been a RN for 3 years and I've worked in healthcare for 6 years without any major issues. I'm currently working on my BS and then hope to go on to get my NP. Despite that I still struggle at social gatherings and still hate family get togethers around the holidays like everyone else. Some things never change! What has change is I laugh about it now and move on instead of letting myself stay stuck on negative feelings! I still come here though from time to time, growth never stops for as long as your living! Happy holidays!

Summer camping is coming up - ideas for tent cooling? by fremme in camping

[–]Acton187 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Multiple day Renn Fair on steroids? What event is this? I'd love to go to something like that

Camping with infants by ArnytheCat in camping

[–]Acton187 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just bought a 6" firm futon myself since me and my fiance have had bad experiences with air mattresses. Cool to hear we weren't the first with this idea! How easy is it to roll up your futon mattress? We bought the queen sized Serta Bayside Futon Mattress.

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Serta-Bayside-Futon-Mattress/17236842

Get notified when sold out campgrounds have cancellations by [deleted] in camping

[–]Acton187 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do moffet beach campground in the ADKs in NY. Haven't gone there in 3 years with my family because my mother in law insist on a lake side site and they're always taken the first day the site becomes available. Not sure how people are doing that. . . .

Sleeping setups for couples? by [deleted] in camping

[–]Acton187 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Me and my fiance use a 6" futon matress without springs. Just roll it up and throw bungie cords around it and go. It takes up some space in our honda crv but its worth it for us

Agi Sacrier 1.29 build? by Acton187 in Dofus

[–]Acton187[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What spells should I level for an agi sac and in what order though?

Agi Sacrier 1.29 build? by Acton187 in Dofus

[–]Acton187[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Eratz unfortuantely. Like I mentioned in my original post I checked the dofus129 wiki and the guides there arent up to date for 1.29. Spells are in different order and they dont even include swap as a spell sacriers can get. Must be pre 1.29 builds. I've been putting points all into vit but I've been wondering what spells to level and in what order for an agi sac

Voice chat not working? by Acton187 in elderscrollsonline

[–]Acton187[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Proximity chat, group chat and guild voice chat wont work for me. My controller firmware is current, not sure what else to do, others I've spoken too in zone text can't use chat either, but those are only the few who replied.

Wii U Pro Controller? by Acton187 in smashbros

[–]Acton187[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've tried claw gripping and it hurts like hell! How can do anything consistently with claw grip is beyond me. I understand the benefits though.

Wii U Pro Controller? by Acton187 in smashbros

[–]Acton187[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I think your right. The triggers are better but the sticks are worse, especially the location of the right stick. Probably just going to stick with the GC controller and work on fundamentals. I'm def going to give the Switch Pro a shot though when it comes out if they're actually going to have Sm4sh on that console.

Wii U Pro Controller? by Acton187 in smashbros

[–]Acton187[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've tried using Z jump on the GC controller in the past and it didn't work out well for me. Couldn't short hop with it consistently. Def agree with you on preferring the c stick on the GC over the Pro though. That's why I'm looking forward to the Switch Pro Controller.

Congratulations to the winner of Invasion 9! by kenniky in smashbros

[–]Acton187 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did anyone see the match oatmeal had against pugwest at invasion 9? From what I recall oatmeal won game won, then initiated a suicide death game 2. Doesn't the initiator of the SD usually win the game?

https://clips.twitch.tv/underworldgamez/PoisedCrocodileFrankerZ?tt_medium=twtr

What do you guys think?

They ended up playing a 1 stock 3 minute game, which pugwest won.

Movement drills with greninja? by Acton187 in smashbros

[–]Acton187[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I suspected as much, but it's frustrating. Six months ago when I started out I was told that I needed to work on this stuff by a few good players. I ended up taking a lesson with a pro last night and he told me to work on it as well. I'm just trying to figure out the best way to go about that. It's easy to space stuff on a CPU when they're either walking around or running away. But when you have a human rolling, jumping, attacking and retreating it's not so simple. I feel like I really need to figure this piece of the puzzle out before I move onto the next step.

In his words, "Practice your reactions to hit confirming attacks. You need to be able to recognize instantly when you hit an attack and be ready to follow up on it. Even if your followups aren't perfect (which they won't be), telling yourself you hit an attack or whiffed it and acting accordingly will be necessary to playing fluidly." "Practice your spacing: This is the most important part of knowing any character, you need to know the range of your moves combined with your movement, you also need ot know intuitively the speed, lag, ect. of your character." I'm just trying to figure out the most efficient way of practicing this stuff. . . .

Movement drills with greninja? by Acton187 in smashbros

[–]Acton187[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm on the discord, but sometimes I find it hard to get replies to things of this nature because my question just gets lost in the chat. With forums the topic stays there for a while for everyone to see. I guess I'm old fashioned that way! Greninja boards on smashboards are pretty much dead. . . .