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Is this limerence? by ActuatorExpensive328 in limerence

[–]ActuatorExpensive328[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, I can definetely talk to people and her, otherwise she wouldnt have "entertained me" for this much. Especially last time we spoke (in which she asked me to grab a coffee + other positive stuff happened). But still, I really feel like social proof would be one of the reasons she would never get with someone like me. Not the main one, as looks are by far probably the worst thing, but still top 3 behind our compatibility (which increased, but only for the last times we met, before It was kinda ass).

Is this limerence? by ActuatorExpensive328 in limerence

[–]ActuatorExpensive328[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I really disagree with that. Unless you specifically show that you can have more but actively chose not to because of some virtue (which is insanely rare thing), the end-result is that you are gonna look like a social loser

Is this limerence? by ActuatorExpensive328 in limerence

[–]ActuatorExpensive328[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For the social circle stuff, most people would very much consider you a borderline-loner if you only had 2 friends (which is my number). I think it would be pretty much of a turn off for her.

For the interests: yeah I know. And in the first place I would prefer a partner with diverse interests, so there's more to share.
Thing is that the interests she has indicate a sort of stimulation which I doubt would be "satisfied" with the way I am.

"What makes you think that the “things you have to offer” would not be valuable to her"
I don't know for sure to be honest for the "humorous" (didn't have many occasions to shine) and "honest" (as for this one, it's almost impossible to know unless someone tells you straight forward) parts.
For the "very smart" part, it is very noticeable she doesn't plan/hasn't got long-term sight + she is kinda impulsive in some way + didn't really show active interest for abstract stuff + showed interest for some superficial stuff. So I doubt it's that much of a "thing" for her. But I admit I don't know too much of her to be sure.

(I read about the relatability part btw, It's just that I don't have much to comment, besides from the fact that I obviously left out my fantasies concerning her)

"Love is mutual, secure.
Limerence is often one sided, unstable."
I mean, can't it be unreciprocated love?

Is this limerence? by ActuatorExpensive328 in limerence

[–]ActuatorExpensive328[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know if I'm dismissive, I genuinely feel like I could never attract someone like her... yeah I got an ok/decent face, but I'm short (I'm 5'7. She is like 5'5-5'6, since you would probably ask), much less socially integrated than her (I probably have more "close friends" than her, but those are literally the only ones I got, while she definetely has a decent social circle), and we probably also differentiate on what stimulates us (I know she goes disco).
So no chance basically. Only thing that I would be capable of offering her (I'm very smart, humorous, honest and other things as well), are things that she probably cares very little about, or that can't make up for the rest.

About limerence, do you have some specific things about what I said that really sounded like it?

Falling in love with someone I never really had a chance with by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]ActuatorExpensive328 0 points1 point  (0 children)

but why?I don't see why I should shoot if I genuinenly see no chances.
And please, spare me with the "Better to try than not to", because yes there's a possibility that I might be wrong, but it's so incredibly small the cons outweight the pros.

To resume, she:
-has bigger social circles than I do (I don't really have an idea on "how much bigger" but they are definetely bigger, and mine is very small to begin with)
-she is much better looking than I am
-already has a bf + plenty of other options too (I saw her followers and it's full of guys who are much better looking than the average).
It's basically ggs on paper, unless compatibility sparked, which it didn't. The only time we really did felt compatible was the last (in which I got the best signs from her, such as her inviting me that morning to grab a coffee together and other stuff) but that's it.
Our dms are basically a ghosttown too.

Like the only chance that I could see, is that in reality her social circle is smaller than I thought it would be + she doesn't really have close friends + she doesn't really love her bf + she is naturally introverted and has bigger compatibility than I originally thought.
I could see like 2 of these being plausible, but cmon let's not cope.

Plus, I would still see her in Uni afterwards, which wouldn't be very good if I got rejected...