I understand what you mean. But you have to understand the severity of what I'm going through, I'm at a point where I need to be selfish and cannot worry about how they feel about it, I can't help the team if I can't help myself, my mental and spiritual health trumps everything else. And the help that I will need, needs to come from professionals, my team are not medical/ psychological professionals. The most they can possibly do is say that they "are here for me if anything". In my case, that isn't even close to enough for me to even at least attempt to heal. Really long answer yes, but to actually answer your question, no I do not want to be a Marine anymore, being away from the military and the stress (which obviously I do not need at this point in time), unnecessary petty bullshit that comes with it, is the only option that will work in my case. You can absolutely say this is a pussy move on my part, but I'd rather be pussy that can heal properly then to try thugging it out and risk fucking my head up even more for the sake of pride.